#johnnyvsamber

 I, like millions of other social media users, witnessed one of the largest court spectacles involving two celebrities this year, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Following the verdict, I have seen many opinion pieces from other celebrities, other known names in media such as those involved in politics and entertainment , as well as average citizens. In some of these opinion pieces, they side with Amber Heard, claiming misogyny and scolding social media presence surrounding the court case as the reasons Amber Heard lost this case. I want to share my opinion as an outsider looking in, as a cis woman, with past history involving trauma with violence both physical and sexual from men starting as young as 12 years old. My opinions come from a place of deep thought, sincerity, transparency, and perhaps most importantly, eventual unbiased judgment. 

First, my opinion of Johnny Depp as a person and actor is as follows, as a person I knew very, little about him. In fact, I knew so little about him as a person that when I really thought about it the only fair opinion I could give on Johnny Depp was Johnny the celebrity.  I knew, like most celebrities, he was popular among fans,  considered a fan favorite, was well known for doing charity visits and all in all was a well-rounded, well-adored, celebrity like thousands of other celebrities that have worked in Hollywood for the extended years that he has. I knew nothing of his childhood abuse, I didn't even know he had a sister that worked with him. 

Second, my opinion of Amber Heard as a person and actress is as follows, once again I knew nothing about her as a person. As a celebrity I was aware she was in one of my favorite comedies Pineapple Express and she made a very believable flesh-starved zombie in Zombie Land and I particularly enjoyed her in the Stand series. Even though I had only seen Aquaman one time, I knew she was likely, at the time, for sure going to become part of the DC family.  She seemed to be someone destined to become, like Johnny, a well-rounded, well-adored celebrity given the same amount of years in the entertainment industry to establish herself.

 These were my unbiased opinions of both Mr.Depp and Ms. Heard prior to all of these allegations and media gossip. When the first accusation of domestic violence was dropped on Johnny Depp, my initial reaction , I think fair to say for most women with a similar background to my own, was immediate disgust, disappointment, and sadness that Johnny Depp, one of America's sweethearts was just "another one". What does that mean, " another one"?  It means that another man in the entertainment industry, another man in this world with immense money and power in his field of work, and quite frankly, just ...another man.. was so brilliantly veneered to look wholesome and well for lack of a better word " perfect". I was skeptical of Amber's claims only briefly because " this is Johnny Depp we are talking about, there is no way." But I knew all to well that "mr. perfects" never are. The men that hurt women are in fact most often the mr. perfects that are supposed to keep us safe, protect us, and love us unconditionally but fail to do so by being the very one that causes harm, trauma, and years of disfunction both physically and mentally.  So in spite of enjoying a lifetime of entertainment provided to me by Johnny Depp, I admit at the time I immediately cast him off as " just another one" . 

Fast forward to years later, multiple audio recordings of disputes between these two individuals, multiple pictures provided by amber, and photos that were being compiled by others on social media and now in a court of law and suddenly I am seeing a new version of the story. I am seeing unfold in front of me, a  childhood sexual abuse survivor's worst nightmare, and I had to ask myself a really hard question, " Did she lie about this man? ".  Did , Amber Heard, the wife of Johnny Depp, actually LIE for her own benefit? This was a hard question to ask because the one thing that hurt the most after the sexual assault I endured as a child, was being asked if I was LYING by the ones I finally confided in. It seemed ludicrous to ask someone such a thing because WHO could lie about something so vile and heartbreaking, something that caused this much confusion, pain, GUILT, and self-loathing. Well as a child I didn't understand that in this world there are all kinds of "villains" including the kind of villain that in fact feigns being a victim for their own gain. But even as an adult, the knee-jerk reaction to BELIEVE in the victim is still there, and I attest it is still there for a good reason because anyone that claims to be a victim of any kind of assault deserves to be LISTENED to. As I  have healed and acquired more experience of how people work, I now also understand that the person accused deserves the right to defend themselves against those claims. 

When all of the social media was on facebook, twitter, tiktok, or whatever platform they decided was best to deliver the message #justiceforjohnny , it wasn't because they saw Johnny Depp , "mr.perfect" and just decided, "we believe you" . He instead had to fight back against an immense and intense intent to "cancel" him.  We saw him on the stage split open his heart and explain in painful detail how he was the farthest thing from perfect, he exposed old wounds, from his childhood, he admitted wrongs,  and for me most importantly he had genuine accountability for his failures and mistakes. This was a man who consistently made one mistake in his relationship with Amber Heard, and that was thinking that the patterns of abuse in their relationship would change. Now my personal experience of violence from men was limited thankfully to only my childhood, but I have witnessed domestic violence against women in my family not once but twice, with the two strongest women in my life at the time.  I would die before I would ever side with an accused person of domestic violence unless I could with the utmost capable certainty within my heart, mind, and soul believe those accusations were not only completely fabricated but fabricated for the sole purpose of GAIN of the other party. I, a social media user, was not swayed by social media perception to side with Johnny Depp. I , a social media user, was swayed by Amber's inconsistency, her flat-out lies, and her inability to "recount" or "recall" her own testimony because she simply couldn't keep her story straight. I , a social media user, was swayed by Amber Heard's inconsistent witnesses or lack there of .

 I , a social media user, was swayed by the "mountain of evidence" that Amber Heard was a liar. I, a social media user, became convinced that Amber Heard was the only thing equally as treacherous to my actual abuser, she was the villain that LIED about sexual and domestic violence. 

So to all these people writing opinion pieces about how Johnny Depp won because he is a celebrity, in a society where canceling celebrities for the SLIGHTEST immoral infraction is the social media "norm" , I tell you now, you couldn't be farther from the truth. We stood with Johnny because we actually got to hear the truth. That a man, as a hard as it is for some people, especially those that have been victims of men in their life, can also be a victim, and can also be slandered, and survive a treacherous woman that was supposed to love, protect, and cherish him unconditionally. The shoe can fit both sexes, and everyone in the world this year was reminded of that. Some are really learning and understanding  it for a first time. Do not tell us, as social media users, that we didn't do the work of really listening to this trial and really observing and UNDERSTANDING the evidence that Amber was the one that instigated and perpetuated violence in their relationship. That she flat out fabricated and lied about such a serious claim as sexual violence. We stood with Johnny , in spite of initial knee-jerk reactions to "cancel" him. The whole world had to apologize to him for that before we could even have the audacity to say "we stand by you".