#johnnyvictor

got it. harvey allan and jimmy grimm

johnny storm:

a) what I think realistically: out of the 5 core kids he has the healthiest eating/exercise/lifestyle habits. you think this beautiful body maintains Itself? no

b) what I think is fucking hilarious: that being said. johnny has a flavor tooth like nothing else. orders ridiculous frappuccinos. eats ghost peppers without being dared. no one else ever steals johnny’s food because it is intolerable to everyone besides him

c) what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends: the worst johnny timeline is the one where instead of getting invisibility powers from the gate fallout, sue just dies in the explosion. imagine him having to see his dad again after that

d) what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway: because he actually Does call victor by name at least once this can’t be true but. johnny exclusively nicknames victor because a) it bothers victor and b) it means johnny doesn’t have to call victor by his name, which he hasn’t done since they were Kinda hooking up a little while back

reed richards:

a) what I think realistically: reed has been cooking adequately for himself since he was like 11 and the richards household gave up on Traditional Family Dinners

b) what I think is fucking hilarious: tfw he’s beautiful and you love him but he can’t even make toast

c) what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends: ignoring the fact that I’ve killed reed at least twice now, reed’s obliviousness is at least partially a defense mechanism because people can’t hurt him if he doesn’t know they’re trying to hurt him

favorite canon johnnyvictor: it may not have been onscreen but I assume that getting those environment suits on was something of an Endeavor. I may not know much about such things but I feel like they would have had to cooperate for that

is this caramelton

like. I’ve been tossing around a selkie!ben concept for ages now, that’s still fine, but here’s an idea for you:

fairytale AU victor’s down on his luck and running out of belongings to pawn, so when he finds this fancy white-feathered cloak abandoned on a rock by the lake, he doesn’t waste any time - he Absolutely steals it and sells it to some passing merchant because times are hard and he still has to eat. (turns out that witchcraft is not a very lucrative career path. why do you Think they all live in lonely beat-up shacks in the woods)

and then victor goes home and opens the door only to be Immediately beset by a young man and a swan. (of Course sue wasn’t about to leave her brother out here by himself. what kind of sister do you take her for)

anyway. johnny is Not pleased about victor trapping him in this Unbeautiful form (swan standards for beauty are Very high) so he cuts right to the chase: victor gives back johnny’s swanskin Immediately, or sue gets to destroy him. (victor looks the swan dead in the eye. he Knows she’s serious)

one problem. they both assumed victor took the skin so he could imprison johnny, and thus they think victor still Has the skin. except victor doesn’t, and he’s Deeply offended that they’ve assumed such intentions (”why would I Want to steal you”)

it’s frightening how fast my mind jumped back to fant(ice)tic

okay, so if I can’t make anybody have ice powers (although good god dang, sue had ice powers the one time but give victor ice powers, let johnny Melt his Heart) then I’m gonna Not go the sad road for once. thus: this is a cooking AU

eventually they come across victor, who's been holed up in his apartment for the last several months, but as his supplies were almost out he had to acquire a car and go on the move. said car has just broken down on the side of the road. so, when ben and reed find him, they offer him a deal: ben fixes the car, and they get to travel together for a while. victor’s not enthused about sharing the end of the world with actual other people, but he knows he won’t get anywhere on foot and alone, so he agrees.

thus the great road trip begins. reed keeps trying to make friends but victor is just Not Having It, and ben is driving and trying not to feel threatened by this shiny new stranger. still, they all have different strengths re: zombie killing, so things go pretty smoothly for a while

and then they run across some other survivors for the first time. johnny tearfully explains that his sister’s been infected, but he can’t bring himself to kill her, and so he doesn’t know what to do. of course the trio, being varying degrees of Moved by their plight, offers to help

ten minutes later they’re all left watching as sue and johnny drive off in victor’s car after shaking them down at gunpoint. not even the apocalypse can keep a good sibling team down