#johnnysays

I mean there are any number of reasons people are friends for. Friendships can come and go depending on their foundation and if you feel like it’s just not there anymore, you don’t owe it to anyone to “try and make the friendship work”. Like they should be natural and mutual. And it’s totally possible to be so close to someone and then find yourself at a distance. People change. You’ve probably changed. As we get older, we have more demands on our time and energy so the free time and effort we do have is that much more important to us. It’s okay to let go of things and people that you’re not willing to put an effort in with.

Now I’m not saying just toss any friendship aside. If you’ve think you’ve really outgrown someone, make sure you’re evaluating what that really means. People are constantly growing at their own paces and if you feel like your friends need to “catch up” to where you’re at in life, I’d really think about what you want in a friendship. Like think about yourself 5 years ago. 10 years ago. You probably think you were a piece of shit. Now who’s to say you won’t look back on yourself at this time and think that? I’m just sayin, don’t get all high and mighty about being better than your friends. (I mean I dunno if you’re trying to say that. But just in case, don’t) 

Religion can play a large part in a person’s values and ideals, so it would make sense that you might have a pattern of liking religious girls. I’m not really sure what to tell you, though.

Personally, I’ve dated religious girls and am not at all formally religious myself, but I never let that stop me. What I do is focus on other aspects of the girl and usually our other interests or general chemistry is strong enough to where the other doesn’t matter. Not to say that it isn’t a factor at all or doesn’t come up, but I am really open to learning about religions and the concepts behind their teachings because to me, religious beliefs are more about how one should live their life and what kind of values one should have so it’s interesting to talk about why they believe what they do and talk about what I believe. I think the key to that for me is that I’m never really absolute - I don’t try to persuade or dissuade but instead just have a conversation about those things - and being open-minded is really refreshing to me. And there really is a lot more to some people than their religious beliefs, but I can see how some hold them higher and center their lives around it.

So as for advice, I say an open mind is the best thing. You don’t have to adopt their beliefs - if you find them interesting and attractive just get to know them and focus on the other amazing aspects of them if you can. It’s not really a problem unless either of you are like trying to impose your beliefs on the other rather than understand them and move on.

Be open and try new things in order to know what you like. And don’t take things so seriously when it comes to dating - like a date doesn’t necessarily mean much and you’re not obligated to do anything. Take things slow.

All you have to do is initiate conversation and since you’re both doing an activity, it’s a little easier since you’ve got some subject matter ready to go. What you can do to get him alone is ask him to spot you on something like bench or squats or whatever. Either to spot you or help with form or whatever you wanna come up with and you can go from there to ask him things like what he’s working out today or any of that. 

And chances are, once the ice is broken you can actually converse and see if he catches your fancy. But also don’t be afraid to make him work for it a little by initiating then letting him try to carry the interaction. People will generally always help out with a spot for any lifting even if they’re with a partner so long as you get them between sets. And if you’re worried about being comfortable talking, just talk about what you like and what you know and ask questions :)

A simple ‘hey how’s it going’ or ‘hello’ is a good way to start off, but I find the best way to approach a conversation is to ask questions that you’re genuinely interested in. Also, I like talking about things the person wouldn’t like normally talk about? I dunno I feel like everyone is asking everyone the standard ‘what are you studying?’ ‘where do you work?’ ‘how’s school?’ ‘what are your plans for blah blah blah?’, but that’s just me - it really depends on what kind of girl she is and what you’re both interested in.

It’s taken me a long time to respond to this for some reason. I think I just felt that there was so much that generally inspires me and it was a really difficult question to answer, but upon some simple reflection I think the answer is much more uncomplicated.

Two things inspire me in life - the human spirit and nature. It’s all the connections between people and that I’ve formed between myself and those I care about that give meaning to my actions. It’s just so fucking neat how people will do whatever they can for those they love and care about and it’s so much more tremendous when you see people helping people whom they have no real connection to other than that they’re just people. Because when it all boils down to it, everyone is just trying to fulfill their lives and understand what it is that they want in life and how to best achieve it - and the beautiful part of it is when people realize that and no matter how different they may be in all aspects, they act in a way that promotes the idea of spreading kindness and joy where it’s needed. That shit is fucking dope.

Nature is also amazing. I guess you could say life in general since all that is natural is a process of living and dying in the great ‘circle of life’ (hehe). But my gosh - nature just puts it all into perspective!! To think that there is life all around us and that it has existed before our entire existence as a race and will continue to exist after we’re gone is a humbling thought. Even studying the cosmos will do this - realizing that every battle fought and every war waged was for claim to land or those on the land on some little blue freckled speck, 2 specks away from a bright and hot speck is some shit. I revel in the fact that our lives are fleeting and our time is limited because that gives meaning to the time we have here. Each of our individual lives are a faint glint. There’s a quote from the movie Troy that is one of my favorites (and cheesy for sure)

“I’ll tell you a secret, something they don’t teach you in your temple. The gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now, and we will never be here again.”