#johningle

I hope The Land Before Time IX: Journey to Big Water is the worst this series gets. Any worse, I swear I'm going to quit. You can’t get much more contrived or pointless than this animated children’s movie.

When a long period of rainfall, Littlefoot (voiced by Thomas Dekker) and his friends Cera (Anndi McAfee), Ducky (Aria Noelle Curzon), Petrie (Jeff Bennett) and Spike (still mute, but “voiced” by Rob Paulsen) discover a large lake. Inside this “big water” lives Mo (also voiced by Rob Paulsen). When a chasm suddenly separates our heroes from their families, Littlefoot and the gang march forward to return Mo to his home while dodging a Sharptooth Swimmer.

I understand a certain number of stars must align for an adventure to take place. No one wants to watch a day where nothing goes awry. This movie takes the coincidences and convenient events to a whole new level. You'll be throwing your hands up in frustration. First, the precipitation is so extreme that a lake forms in the Great Valley. Second, the storm carries a salt-water reptile from the ocean, which is at least 2 days’ worth of a walk away - and upstream - to our heroes’ homes. It also displaces a 6 meter (21 foot) sea monster. Third, an earthquake creates a chasm so deep that a perpetual wall of hot air and steam rises from it, preventing Petrie from flying across. The same earthquake separates our favorite dinosaurs from their parents, opens a path from the lake to the world outside of the valley, AND traps the swimming sharptooth so they can all go on without a care in a world. This isn't happenstance. It’s the author forcing the hand of God to make things happen!

Once you get over the initial shock, you'll realize how annoying and empty a film this is. While I didn’t mind 2 of the songs included (there are four instead of the usual three, and then a second version of No One Has to Be Alone sung by Donny Osmond during the end credits) Imaginary Friend will have you tearing your ears off. It’s one thing to encourage children to use their imagination when playing, but a whole song dedicated to why make-belief friends are so awesome? That’s pushing it. Everything related to Mo is grating. The character has no real personality, only the quirk that he wants to play all the time and a voiced that reminds me of a dripping faucet at 1:00 am. The only way he could have been more exasperating is if they had added bubbly noises at the end of each of his sentences. Whenever he shuts up, it's medicinal lotion gently rubbed onto your sunburn. Too bad as the new character, he talks and sings constantly.

Journey to Big Water has a few minor redeeming qualities. The backgrounds are pleasant to view. The series is beginning to use computer animation to create some difficult objects (rotating logs, water, etc.) and this has given the artists time to refine the environment. Two scenes showing characters talking amongst themselves about their feelings and insecurities make them feel like real... dinosaurs. Finally, this chapter acknowledges “The Land Before Time V: The Mysterious Island” so it somewhat rewards those who have been paying attention to the series so far.

What's shocking is how little during these 75 minutes. The plot is so straightforward, with no real character development, a lot of repeated conversations (if not within the film, then between this and the previous movies), and other than traveling from point A to point B while dodging one bad guy, nothing else happens. If you hope the after-credit bonus will make it up to you, know it’s not even a music video by Donny Osmond or even a repeat of some popular LBT songs... it’s just three random tunes that lead into a commercial! (On VHS, April 15, 2015)