#john jasper

Crisparkle: All the festive decorations are up! There's only one thing left to hang! Everyone else, in complete unison: JASPER. Crisparkle: no.

Datchery: I've connected the dots. Killer: You didn't connect shit. Datchery: I've connected them. Jasper: I'll have you know that I have been a perfectly decent vocal instructor. Puffer: You fucked up a perfectly good kid is what you've done. Look at her, she's got anxiety! Bazzard: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems. Bazzard: Weight loss? Drink water. Bazzard: Clear skin? Drink water. Bazzard: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them. Puffer: Well, who the fuck- Chairman: LANGUAGE, ANGELA. Puffer: Ah, sorry Bill. Puffer: Whom the fuck- Chairman: When life get tough, I like to look at this photograph of all the actors that I keep in my pocket. Throttle: Aw, that's surprisingly swe- Chairman: It reminds me that if I can deal with those dumbasses on a daily basis, I can deal with anything. Throttle: There it is. Helena: That's ridiculous! Rosa doesn't have a crush on me. Neville: Yes she does. Puffer: Yes she does. Rosa: Yes I do. Helena: Two truths and a lie, I’ll start! Helena: I’ve killed someone, I'd do it again, and I'm not lactose intolerant. Drood, visibly nervous: I don’t- I don’t like this game. Rosa: Underestimate me. That'll be fun. Chairman: Janet, keep an eye on Alice today. She's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Janet Conover: Sure, I'd love to see Alice getting punched. Chairman: Try again. Janet, sighing: I will try to stop Alice from getting punched. Drood, at the top of a ladder: I'm scared, Jack! Jasper, holding out his arms: Do you trust me, Ned? Drood: Yes! Drood: *hits the ground, hard* Jasper: Rule #1, never trust anybody.

Bazzard: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted posters make it look.