#joewee

Added new Grumpus charms on Etsy!!

I’m trying to stay as optimistic as possible about this. It’s not going that great so far but I can at least say this. It could be worse. Everything could have ended up much much worse. We could have had the biggest shit storm of an argument and could be pissed off for the rest of lives, never to apologize and speak another word to each other again. We could have cheated on one another leaving both of us feeling worthless and meaningless. We could have gotten into a fist fight and hurt each other badly or broken and stolen each other’s things. We could have talked so much shit to all of our friends, and posted all over social media sites like Facebook for everyone we know to see. We could have had both our families turn backs to each other’s family. But it’s not like that. 

Maybe I’ll never get to feel your soft warm lips press against mine ever again, and maybe I won’t ever feel you gently and intimately make love to me ever again, and maybe I’ll never be able to hear you say “I love you” ever again, but at least I can say that I’m happy that you will in some way still be a part of my life. We have been pretty shitty to each other for the past year and we’ve both admitted it. You know that I need you so you will stick around and that’s what makes you such a beautiful human being. You let me go so gently. No way to be let go is ever good, especially taking in account for how long we’ve been together and how much effort we have put into each other throughout the years but I thank you for how you did it. I’m very much a wreck right now but if you just left me cold I don’t know how I would be able to live anymore. Honestly I don’t think I could. 

Every hug and kiss, every cuddle and back rub, ever moment of your time that you’ve given me. Every plushie and video game, every cup of coffee or tea, and every movie and food date you took me out to and bought me. Every adventure we’ve gone on and every sleepover we’ve had. Every time we’ve fucked hard and every time we’ve made passionate love. Every sweet word you’ve said to me and every caring gesture you’ve made. I appreciate you for all of it. I’m sorry I took it all for granted and never thanked you before. It was all in the moment and it’s true that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I’m sorry for how unhappy I’ve made you feel and I’m sorry for upsetting you. I’m sorry for making you feel unwanted and I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused. I can only hope you don’t think that our time together was a waste because I sure don’t. Every minute with you was worth the journey and I’m glad I get to say it all happened with you. Even though I’ll never be able to call you mine in this lifetime ever again you will always be perfect to me. 

Whether you believe it or not, you’re my first real love. I’ve never felt so strongly about someone in my life and because of that it will take me a very long time to heal, if it’s even possible for me to fully heal at all. You’ve helped me grow into a more responsible, confident, mature human being. You taught me how to let go and have a little fun and you taught me how to stand up for myself too. I really do want everyone to know how good you’ve been to me because you really have. No one has treated me like a princess the way you have for the past few years and I would never in a million years talk down about you to anyone, so I hope you won’t do talk down about me either. 

I really do hope that you take the time to read this because it was all meant for you. You know that I’m a very weak person and I take every word to heart so saying this in person would take me a very long time. I would need to cry the entire time and you can definitely bet your ass I cried typing out this whole thing but you probably already knew that without me having to say it. No one knows me better than you do. You’ve made a huge impact in my life and you’ve made a beautiful mark on my heart. You’ve been such a good boyfriend to me and an amazingly good friend. You’ve taken me in and accepted me for who I am, problems and all, without judgement and only care.