#jockcomedy

Off-season doesn't make Ezan less golden. It just makes him unreachable.

The team calls it recovery. The bros call it a problem. Ezan calls it… deserved.

Gold Couch King

Ezan is sprawled across a massive L-shaped velvet gold couch like it's a throne built for naps and ego. Golden briefs. Controller in one hand. Protein shake in the other. Pizza boxes open like trophies. Empty gold shaker bottles everywhere, like he's been summoned here by laziness itself. A sticky note on his forehead reads: "LEG DAY?" He doesn't remove it. He simply breathes like a king being worshiped by crumbs.

Holiday Bloat Flex

Back in the locker room, Ezan meets the mirror with full confidence and zero shame, shirtless, bloated, grinning like his stomach is part of the brand. One hand rubs the gut, the other hits a flex. He's in a Santa hat and gold pyjama bottoms stitched with "EZAN #1." On the bench sits the ultimate proof of delusion: the "Bulking Season Champion" belt. And somehow… he looks proud enough to make it convincing.

Sled, Not Tread

The treadmill is not being used for running. It's being used as a couch. Ezan lies fully stretched across it, sipping a milkshake, texting like cardio is a rumour he refuses to confirm. The machine is OFF. The vibe is ON. A sign is taped to the frame: "DO NOT DISTURB: OFF-SEASON." A bro in the background is actually training and staring daggers. Ezan doesn't look up. He's busy "recovering."

Bro-liday Mode: ON

Golden hour backyard BBQ. Smoke haze. Team vibes. Ezan lounges poolside on a gold float in shiny gold trunks and sunglasses, burger in one hand, football parked on his belly like it belongs there. The bros are doing pushups in the background, because someone has to maintain the illusion of discipline. Ezan smirks like: That's adorable, keep going.

Lazy doesn't mean weak. Lazy means comfortable enough to stay superior anyway.

Day 19 is for anyone who's ever said, "I'll lock in tomorrow" and meant it spiritually. Ezan is still the main character, he's just in Off-Season Mode: gold, smug, and completely unbothered.

Reblog if you respect the recovery arc. Tag if you've ever been personally victimised by a treadmill.