#jobthings

I have a new position and it’s off the phones.

Lost my job back in December due to a downsizing where I work and it’s been a scramble ever since. Luckily, landed briefly on a contract position in another department. It was a risk - it was go back to the call center or give this a shot. It was going somewhat well, or so I thought. 

I was told just earlier this week my contract would be extended to June. There was relief, least I had a paycheck. 

Then Friday I went home after feeling I finally got  the ins and outs of the job down - felt accomplished. Got a call that my contract has ended. Such is the nature of the beast that is contract work. It was a shock but part of me was relieved. It was not a good fit for me, which was a little sad since it was a department I had been curious about since I was languishing in the call center. There was a lot to remember, my mind was wrecked every day and I felt like I was not getting it completely. I kept copious amounts of notes to try and make sure I get the routines down, what to remember, what add, and the volume of records. Tedious but necessary.

Then recently learned that one of the antagonistic people that had been on my previous team had interviewed for a position in the general department and I overhead the manager and boss basically saying “of all the applicants we looked at, she’s a perfect fit for the role”. 

That place was going to be toxic real fast. It’s a shame honestly, there are wonderful people there. I wish them well. Either way, the Universe kicked me out of there just in time. I added that to the book I keep of odd and chaotic coincidences as well, because what were the odds?

I cried already, part of me feels like I had squandered an opportunity, maybe even let some people who advocated for me down - but my therapist (thankfully I would see her Saturday) helped me put it in better perspective. People lose their job all the time, and now I have reached that point. It is also now in the past, something I cannot change. It’s all about my next steps. 

I have not given up. This gives me not only a much needed break, but gives me time to look at what I can do, consider what I excel at and where to go from here.   

Also, that feel when your anxious thoughts of ohfuckinggodIdontwannamessup is fucking getting in the way of productivity. Obviously. But I don’t wanna say that and have it come off as an excuse, because no one takes that seriously here, not without an “reasonable accomadation” already filed and approved.