When Jon's arms wrap around him, there is always first an instinct to recoil with self-preservation.
But his arms are strong. They’re warm, secure. Safe. When Jon's arms wrap around Damian, in the span of a single heart beat, his stiff posture always gives way. He melts into Jon’s shoulder, curls his arms around Jon's middle. He holds tight, burying himself in that feeling of comfort.
Damian allows himself to bask in the scent of summer on the Kent’s farm, the warmth of a face turned towards an open bonfire, for as long as he is permitted.
If Damian holds tighter for longer than he should, can you fault a monster who so rarely feels wanted?
//
When Damian reciprocates, holds Jon just as tightly as Jon holds him, it's like fuel for every thought he's ever had to wrangle into submission.
Thoughts that he'll keep pushing down, back, deeper and deeper, until they don't jump to the front of his mind every time they touch.
Damian's hesitation lasts an eternity; his heart stutters before he gets it under control, and Jon knows. He knows it's his fault. Jon's not right. He's afraid. He's broken. He doesn’t know who he is or what he wants. He's a flake on the best of days.
If Jon squeezes tighter, tries to keep Damian right here, right now, can you blame a coward for being weak?
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the thing about jondami is they're both stage four clingers, but damian tries to play it cool and aloof (he fails, everyone can tell he's terrified jon will leave), and jon acts like it's just part of his cute puppy persona (he's glaring over damian's shoulder while hugging him)
Do u think jondami would ever get married? And if so, who would ask who first?
To me they're either the "date for twenty years, as good as married, we don't need that piece of paper" types, or they were both planning to propose and they both have a ring bought. The one who does it first will have the pleasure of lording it over the other's head for the rest of their stupidly happy married lives.
All that to say... Jon. I think Jon would propose first. Mostly because Damian wanted to do some intricate thing, pull a grand romantic gesture on a specific date. The one they met on, the day they started dating, their first kiss, something along those lines. Meanwhile, Jon was content to roll over in bed as they're slowly waking up on a random Wednesday, see how the sunlight hits Damian's face just right, and ask.
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Jon fucking Kitty Damian telling him he's going to give a pretty him a whole pretty litter of babies ....
hhhsdflksdj PLEASE.
Damian with his face pressed into the pillows, ass up in the air. Jon holding his tail in one hand, because the thing keeps flipping around like crazy when he starts rambling about giving him a whole litter of pretty kittens, just like him, and whoops, Damian's actually stupidly, mind-meltingly into it. Heart rate jump, starts getting way louder than usual, Jon just wishes that he'd figured this out ages ago, because he's about to be a fucking menace
It's not a date, Jon's got to keep reminding himself however many times it takes. Nowhere ever did the word date leave Damian's mouth in the entire meticulous planning process of this outing. And even if it kinda seems that it might be, it's definitely just Jon's brain playing cruel tricks.
Damian standing a little bit closer as they walk next to one another, his hand brushing against Jon's when they swing, willingly accepting Jon's scarf when the wind picked up and he shivered—he's just cold. Cold and Jon's a warm body, and so… that's that. Not a date.
Just a friend supporting a friend who he's had a weird crush on for way too long to be normal about.
“You'll be honest when you see my work, if you think it's horrendous?”
“Oh, come on,” Jon groans, “you're spiraling. For like, the tenth time, you're not getting art accepted into a whole show if it's bad.”
“I am not spiraling. They would accept anything with the Wayne name attached, no matter how it looked, in hopes of a reciprocal donation. You have to tell me the truth, Jonathan. I trust you to do this.”
Oh. Oh, man.
He shouldn’t be trusted at all to do anything, not with the thoughts floating around in his head right now.
Jon nods along anyway, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his coat so that he keeps them to himself. Trust. Not a date. Even if they sat across from one another at a nice dinner place and Damian's shoe had brushed against his ankle under the table and lingered. Stupid. Damian's allowed to touch him and it not be made into a whole weird thing.
“Fine. I'll tell you your stuff's garbage, if that's what you really want.”
Damian huffs at him, coming to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk. He squints up at Jon, clouds of his breath fogging out from between his lips. Nose and cheeks pink in Gotham’s winter chill, Jon's blue scarf tucked snugly around his neck, it takes everything inside him to not just drift away on the wind.
“I don't want you just to tell me that it's garbage. I know you at least understand the concept of honesty.”
He's going to fall to his knees and scream for mercy if Damian doesn't stop it.
Clearly, Jon doesn't know a thing about honesty. Looking away, up, somewhere, anywhere else, he manages to miss Damian stepping closer. Manages to zero back in in time for Damian's hand to grab his elbow. Manages to look like the biggest idiot on the face of the Earth when Damian stretches up and Jon doesn't even move an inch to meet him.
Damian kisses him. Damian kisses him.
Warm lips press against his, and it's so quick. Blink and it's over, blink and Damian's looking up at him with eyes green like a summer sun diffused through leaves, and Jon’s never felt like he couldn't breathe before.
“I will be honest and tell you that was a garbage kiss.”
Jon chokes, trying not to laugh. Or maybe cry. “Can I try again?”
jonathan and damian with a ben affleck/matt damon type relationship though... wym they shared a bank account and lived together and damian stopped talking to jon for months when he started dating someone publicly, and one's always third wheeling the other on dates and vacations and why are they getting on a plane together without the new spouse right after jon got married—
