#jinnzou

"I told you, you need me. That fight, you only survived because of the special significance of that place. You survived because of that. Otherwise, you would be dead, all because you think you're better off with me."

Jinnzou was back.

"What more, now you have associated with someone who is enemy to this person you think loves you. Do you think they will be happy about that? Consorting with the enemy. Treason. That's what it is."

Louder than ever.

"Not only did you consort with the enemy, you acted all buddy-buddy, friendly, with the enemy! You offered them help. You tried to be on good terms. Are you a fool!? Are you an idiot!? Why am I even asking, the answer is yes."

And there was no way to respond.

"Surely, you see that you need me now. Surely you see that you cannot make these decisions on your own. If left to your own devices, you'll get yourself killed. I am strong, but if you set an entire clan of people against you, I won't be able to save you."

A sigh, exhaled breath through his nose, was his only response.

"Admit it."

"You are right ... Jinnzou..."

Reflection on his past had taken place. Recalling the days before he came to the island. Was life always like this? Was it something new, or was he nothing more than a record kept on a loop? The days following the spar with Wind were spent wandering the wilds. Venturing as far as Pleasantville and New Pitt on sheer chance. He would find himself before the Drive after a time. He had wandered into some cave, without having planned to, and just stared at it.

"Horatio again? Does this bucket not give up?"

"I hate tea... Go away."

A charge of electricity brightened the cave's insides, flashing out into the jungles outside. After a time, Dorian would find himself back in NewHome. How had he gotten there?

New thoughts were in his head. Or were these memories he hadn't thought of in a while? Was it something repeating, or did he have no clue?

A red haired woman and a child. That seemed familiar. His eyes drifted down to the ring hanging from a chain about his neck. He stared at the droplet gem fixed at the center, and he thought. What did it mean? Why did he have it? Who was the woman? Was the child his? There was only one thing clear, even now. A name.

It had been quite some time. More time than Dorian could have actually hoped for. For a while, he was able to enjoy the silence of having no Jinnzou in his mind. He was bouncy and happy, and even enjoying being a Kittymorph while around Flaxin, Nico, Tahv, and especially Fish. It could not last forever, he knew this, nor did he really want it to. Being happy and at peace was what he wanted, but the Kittymorph part of it was not as pleasing. He enjoyed it, and hated that he enjoyed it. He loved touch, and being in constant contact with almost anyone. That pissed him off to no end, and he did not need Jinnzou to spur that on.

In time, he was able to take care of that. Fish brought him to the Watch HQ, where an alchemist member was able to perform a transmutation, and turn Dorian back into a human. Human was not great, but it was an improvement over Kittymorph. For a week, he recovered from his body coping with the sudden change. After that, he was hungry for action. He was needing something to do, and so he was wandering around. He had a run in with Horatio again ... and he was happy, simply, that Horatio didn't play a sick joke and undo all that had happened at the Watch HQ.

Dorian wandered all he could, venturing out to NewHome, New Pitt, Pleasantville, and almost out to the mountains. Still he had not ventured the mountains, but perhaps, someday he would. All the while, Jinnzou had remained silent. All until Dorian had met up with Wind again. It was in that second meeting, that something would change.

So, Dorian had made an assumption about the intent of Fish's words. A stupid assumption. Valid, but stupid. So nothing sexual had been the goal. Did that speak poorly of his mind? Or poorly of her capability to elaborate? Either way, Dorian was frustrated.

Fish had come to see him at Modi's bar, the next morning, where he was waking up from his night of boozing into a stupor. They would have a short conversation, where he felt the fool assuming she had been insinuating they have a threesome involving a wolf, when she had been trying to get Dorian involved in a spar with her wolf friend.

She took him home, and the two cuddled up in bed, and enjoyed each other's company throughout the rest of the day, and into the night. The next day, despite such, things would not be ok. At least not 100% ok.

"She doesn't care about you..."

"Don't try to spin that lie, now. You were wrong. She hadn't intended that at all. She wanted me to spar with her friend. That would have been fun. And who knows what would have happened between her and I afterwards."

"Are you really that naive? She wants to fool you. So she saw you were not into that. You even said you weren't. So she spins a new web, to trick you anew."

"Fuck you, Jinnzou. I'm done listening to you. You only lie. You're the one trying to trick me. You're the one holding me back from being happy. Well, guess what. Fish makes me happy, and I'm going to let her. So you can shut the hell up, and deal with it."

"You ungrateful sod! How dare you speak to me like that!? I am the one that saved your life! If it were not for me, Logan would have killed you! If it were not for me, your Father or Brothers would have killed you! If it were not for me, you would have lived 100 years of misery instead of 100 years of glorious, honor-earning combat against any who would stand in your way! If it were not for me, you would be nothing!? You wish to shut me away, good luck boy! Let's see how long you last without me!"

And then there was silence. Dorian looked about, alone in the wilds of the Island. Any passer by would think him insane (of course, because everyone was), but even more insane, for his paranoid glances over each shoulder repeatedly while standing by himself out in the open.

"Jinn? ... Jinnzou? ... Jinzou Ningen? ... It's just me? Jett Kuroi, on his own, with no evil voice to worry about?"

Why he was taking it so roughly, was a new sensation for Dorian. Of course, it merely gave fuel to the fire that was known as that other half; Jinnzou Ningen, Artificial Human, Dorian's anger.

"This is nothing new, Dorian. No one cares about you. Your father didn't care about you, your brothers didn't care about you..."

"Raina cared..."

"And where is Raina now, fool?! She's gone! Where did she go? She abandoned you! She got sick of how much of a loser you are, and left you!"

"..."

So Brooke didn't want to go on a date with Dorian. And she asked to speak with him, then left to go do something that needed to be done a few moments later. What was so important? And if it was so important, how did she not realize she didn't have the time to have this talk with Dorian?

"She didn't want to talk. She wanted to fuck that Drizzt guy. Because you are nothing but a joke, and she didn't want you in her instead..."

The growl that left his lips, merely gave more power to that other half's torment. Dorian grasped at his knees, and could not just sit back in that bar forever. He could have drowned his sorrows away, but the anger had control, and he stepped out of the bar, in search of trouble. In search of some heads to crack. In search of a world to destroy. And then, there was darkness.

Dorian awoke, days later, in Kittania. What... was this? He had tawny fur. He had a more slender body. He had a tail! He... was a kittymorph. Damn improbability... Memories he hadn't recalled before, were suddenly fresher in his mind. He thought back, and when his eyes looked around, he saw... A feline with vibrant red hair atop its head, but black fur upon its body. He focused on this feline more intently, and slowly, it lost its fur, and became a Drow. He stared, trying to remember their name. They turned to Dorian, and uttered his name, and suddenly, her name was on his lips...

"Rosa..."

And then he was out again. He awoke, again, days later, in medical care in Kittania. He was still a kittymorph, that fact had not been limited to the dream. he grumbled, and returned to that bar out in the wilderness north-west of Kittania, and this time, drowned his sorrows and frustrations in the mugs of three Stonesouls. Apparently  the strongest drink of the island. He'd pass out in one of the couches of the main hall of Improbable Bordello.