#jillianrps

She had loved her. Past tense. But she remembered that feeling, the warm comfortable weight of her presence. It was better than any luxury offered in any lordship she’d visited. She glanced at Sandra, training on the far side of the meadow, and it settled down on her shoulders like a blanket. The way light shone off her hair pulled at Lilliel, a strange wanting to touch it. To feel how soft it probably was.

She loved Sandra. She couldn’t imagine how it had snuck up on her, but she did. “I love you,” she whispered, testing the sound out.

“Huh?” Sandra asked, turning around. It was impossible for her to have heard the specific words, but the reaction was enough to leave Lily a blushing mess.

She took a moment to gather herself before she dared attempt to answer her. “You look…good. With your power. You’ve grown so much.”

More than any compliment on her appearance, Lily knew Sandra would take such a compliment to heart. She still shrunk when receiving them, but the smile on her face was so satisfying. Lily was in deep. “Thanks.”

Bennie/Adeline

It was not something he’d particularly wanted. Falling in love with one’s wife was gauche at best. The Mercer line had lost some of their shine, yes, but Benoit’s whole goal was to bring them back to their former glory, not taint their good name with something as crass as romance. Really, he ought to be ashamed of himself. Adeline would certainly find it pathetic. Adeline, with her acerbic tongue and her wit and her absolute impatience for everything he believed in. It was a wonder, truly, that they managed to speak. Let alone fall in love.

Or he’d fallen in love. Perhaps that was the worst part of it. He had had little interest in bedsport, with or before her, and unfortunately for him, she seemed to feel more or less the same. Well, not the same. She had much more interest in bedsport–it seemed that her disinterest was with him. She willingly tolerated him only as a means to her end. It should have cheapened their intimacies, but their mutual distaste for one another fueled it in a way Bennie had assumed only existed in tawdry writings.

Except that now he’d gone and ruined it. After all, how could he maintain his hatred of her, which was the basis of their only passion, if he did not, in truth, hate her? It was not that he required relations to want her–to the contrary, he probably would have preferred to leave relations to the side beyond his duty to his line–but she was so fond of them. She enjoyed them, and he enjoyed bringing her satisfaction, both in the bed and in the only seemingly fulfilling part of their relationship.

It was a disappointment, plain and simple, and he would have to get over it. After all, a measly thing such as love should not stand a chance against logic and reason and duty. He would simply overcome the feeling so that he could resume his tenuous relationship to his wife, his slowly budding friendship to Clarence, and his confusion over what exactly Lady Westin was to his Adeline. 

…

Even his relations with his wife were improved. Her personality, like most others’, was tamed by the chill, brought from the hellish manner she usual held to a more relaxed one which he could actually manage. God help him, they’d even had a pleasant conversation the night before. They’d exchanged playful barbs, as opposed to the usual malicious ones.

He turned to check in on her, since Wil had been walking rather slowly, only to feel a sharp, cold, wet impact on his chest. He glanced down at the projectile before meeting his wife’s stare. It wasn’t the usual spiteful one he was used to. It was a smile. A grin, even. And although Bennie had always been a serious person, he had been a child once, and he knew there was only one way to respond to such an act.

He scooped up some snow himself, balling it and throwing it before she was ready for him.

✉for my muses reaction to finding a cute love note from your muse. (bonus points: tell me what the note says)

Wilhelmina sighed, glancing out the window. The land had nearly frozen over, and Adeline was nowhere to be found. Probably off with her husband, leaving Mina to fend for herself. Even Lord Westin had left her, something Mina had not realized was even possible, with the way he doted around her. In some way, his leaving actually hurt worse, for Adeline had always been her own person, whereas Westin, she expected to wait on her.

Stepping away from the window, she went to pick up her stitching. Mother had told her that she needed to practice more. It was what the nobility did, she said. It was not as though she had anything else to do. But when she lifted the basket, a small piece of paper fell out. Naturally, she had to pick it up and examine it.

My dearest, darling Wilhelmina,

I think often, this winter, of Hades and Persephone. When she went to the Underworld, to be with him, we are left with cold, but she is warm with her loved one. So it is with us. We are forced out of Town by the cold, but our warmth can keep us warm, together, for these months.

Let us spend these months as those ancient stories intended: together. I am finishing my work on the estate early. Please, come join me for a walk on this frosty day, and then warm with me in the kitchens? I will wait for you by the stables.

In love always,

Clarence

By the time she finished reading, she’d unconsciously made her way to her closet, where her warmest winter dress sat, waiting, inviting her to slide it on. Her heart beat fast, a smile on her lips.

Or…a friend of sorts. Lilliel had not yet determined with certainty the nature of her relationship with Sandra. The girls had gotten closer over the weeks. There had been touches, glances, and even–she blushed to even think it–kisses. More than Lily had ever shared with another friend. But what did that make them?

Sandra–the object of her musings, coughed, bringing her thoughts to the present moment. Back to the beautiful skyline and the glow of the Priestess’s rooms. Everything else in the citadel was dark, leaving the building in silhouette. It made the whole thing seem less real, which perhaps was why she was comfortable speaking first. “This has been such a lovely day,” she said softly.

“I know,” Sandra replied. After a moment, she added more. “I like it out here. In the citadel, I always feel so alone.”

“You’re never alone,” Lily answered, not allowing herself to consider the words. “You always have me.”

“Even at night?” The words shot right to Lilliel’s gut. She pressed her lips together, looking for a response. Sandra spoke again before she had one. “Would you, uh, spend the night. With me? In my room?”

Would she? Even with her limited experience, Lilliel knew what such a request could mean. She couldn’t deny that. And yet…the thought of that…with Sandra… She took a deep breath, allowing herself a moment to wonder, and then spoke. “Of–of course. If that’s what you want.”

The sun had drooped below the skyline, and Lilliel could not quite make out Sandra’s face in the darkness anymore, but she felt a spark of something beside her, and her stomach twisted in response.

Mina/Adeline

Adeline called this moment “indulging” sometimes. That was what it was, after all. An indulgence. Giving themselves over to the sort of pampering neither of them could ever really afford, no more than they could hold on to it. It was spoiling, plain and simple. And yet, Mina, who rarely sought to be spoiled in any manner, could not help but linger just a moment longer, to beg for just a second more, even after the time had come for both women to straighten themselves up, to dress and hide the evidence of their tryst. 

Today was surely no different, in that regard. They had finished their congress, and were lying together in Mina’s bedchamber. Lord Westin had been so accommodating when she’d requested her own bed, she almost felt as though she were taking advantage of him. But the promise of lying with her love in a bed, as opposed to stuffed into a closet, was so much more than Wilhelmina had ever dared dream before that no guilt could stop her from doing it. 

And now, oh, now they were together, stretched out over fine silk sheets, and she just couldn’t help the words from passing over her lips. “Stay with me tonight,” she whispered, voice wavering with sleepiness.

“Oh, love,” Adeline’s reply came soft, like a mother soothing a child. “Don’t be foolish, now.” Her arms wrapped tighter around Mina’s waist, pulling her ever closer, as if the proximity would make up for the brevity of the embrace.

Mina pulled away though, sitting up and pouting, childish as it was. “It’s not foolish. Westin will be gone until sunup, and he would never come to my chambers without my permission. And–and we could say you simply came over and fell asleep.” The excuses sounded flimsy, even to her, but she could not see reason. All she wanted was one night with her love.

Adeline sat up too, eyes shimmering faintly with tears she would never shed over this problem. “I can’t,” she whispered, putting her hands over Wilhelmina’s. “You know I can’t.”

“Give me one night?” Mina practically begged, her eyes filling too, now.

In reply, Adeline simply leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to Mina’s forehead. Mina smiled a bittersweet smile, hands gripping Adeline’s for one more moment before she had to relinquish her.

Mina/Clarence

There was nothing scandalous about kissing one’s husband in the library. It was, actually, rather expected, since one had married the man, after all. It was even less scandalous when the kiss was but a mere brush of one’s lips against his, in the heat of the moment, with emotions high after a rather intimate talk. And yet, Wilhelmina found that the moment she pulled her touch away from Clarence Westin’s, she found her heart racing much the way it did when--well, when she was with Adeline. Peculiar though that was, she had to admit, she recognized the feeling.

“Dearest,” he whispered, a grin spreading across. “Thank you for sharing that with me.” The words were so soft and tender, but it was unclear whether he meant the confessions about her childhood from their conversation, or the kiss itself.

Mina looked away, suddenly shy. It had not occurred to her, but she was more worldly than him, more experienced in matters of the body and the heart alike. Was that what this was, though? Her heart getting involved? It seemed impossible, when her heart belonged to Ada, but she could not help but wonder if it truly was. “Westin,” she replied, not sure what to say.

He seemed to understand, though, her speechlessness, or at least know to react the right way. “Come, love, it’s late. You should be in bed, though you’re too beautiful to need beauty sleep.” He rose, reaching a hand out to bring her with him. Mina followed, still lost in thoughts of what she should do. What she wanted.

When they reached the doors to her room, he stopped, grinning that incredibly stupid, though oddly endearing today at least, grin of his. “This has been a lovely night,” he told her. “I--uh, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow, but for now--”

“Wait,” she stopped him, stepping closer to him, looking up from her eyelashes. Coquettish, but not ineffective. “You, uh. That is...” She took a deep breath. “Stay with me. Tonight, I mean.”

Her eyes flicked away, not able to look directly at him while waiting the unending half-second it took him to answer. “Are you certain, darling? I would be honored but you don’t have to.”

Nerves rising up in her gut, Mina nevertheless pushed on, rising to her toes to press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, practically an echo of the one they’d shared in the library. “Stay with me,” she repeated.

Bennie/Adeline

“Tell me that you want me,” she demanded, and the contrarian in Benoit wanted to swear to her that he didn’t. He wanted so badly to tell her that all he wanted was to be left alone. To have his peaceful and normal life back from this crazy, impulsive, selfish woman who took it from him. And yet, as the words lingered on the tip of his tongue, it failed him. Bennie wasn’t prone to letting his emotions distract his common sense, but something about Adeline threw him off-kilter. To say she disrupted his sense would be an exaggeration, but she certainly did something.

He breathed a few long, deep breaths, doing his best to appeal to both their logical sides. “That’s not the question, Adeline.” He looked at her, with her flushed face, and it only made things more complicated. “What I want is...” He shook his head, stepping toward her.

“What you want is what?” she asked--no, demanded. Adeline never asked anything, and Bennie was equal parts infuriated and fascinated him. Her particular way of expecting the world to bend to her whims made him petulant, brought out the worst in him. “For goodness sake, Mercier, what do you want?”

Benoit was at his snapping point. Really, he couldn’t help himself. “Stay with me,” he said.

“What?”

For once, he had her down to near-speechlessness, and in the excitement over that, Bennie couldn’t help but continue onward. “Stay with me. For the night. That’s what I want, Adeline.” He sighed, brushing her hand through his hair. “We’ve been married and we’ve...obviously...the marriage is valid but we’ve never spent the whole night. Never actually slept. That’s what I want, Adeline. I want you to stay with me for a night.”

He would have expected her to roll her eyes. To judge him for wanting something other than intimacy. And yet, as always, she did the opposite of what he expected from her. “Well,” her voice came out that smokey sound, and he felt his nostrils flare in frustration. “Why didn’t you say so before?”

Bennie/Clarence

It was so rare that Benoit met someone who was comfortable with his long silences. Sometimes, he just didn’t know what to say, and he was tired of people, and he just shut down. There people with whom he could have companionable silence, where neither of them spoke. With Clarence Westin, it was not companionable silence. It was not silence at all. Westin spoke endlessly, filling any gaps where Bennie couldn’t talk with near-constant chatter. It may have been annoying at first, but since he’d grown accustomed to it, its absence would have unnerved him.

In fact, when he stopped talking, Bennie was immediately struck by a discomfort, as though something that should have been there was taken away. “Mercier?” Lord Westin repeated, waiting on an answer to a question Bennie hadn’t even really been listening to.

“Pardon?” he asked, eyeing the other man with some curiosity. “I’m sorry. Would you repeat that?”

Westin, to his credit, was unphased as ever by Bennie’s response to him, perfectly happy to take up the chatter again. “Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if  you wanted me to head back home. It is getting late.”

Bennie blinked, his gut reaction catching him off guard. He knew the answer, after all, senseless as it was. Yes, he and Westin had shared some--er--intimacies before, but what he wanted to ask hardly seemed appropriate. Then again, it was truth. Being truthful was always the right thing to do, surely? So he sighed, opening his mouth before closing it again. How was he to say this?

“Well?” Westin repeated, a smile curling up one side of his lips. “Shall I go, or--”

“Stay,” Bennie interrupted, surprising both men in equal measure. “With me. Stay with me tonight.”

“Oh,” Westin--Clarence, Benoit supposed that a request like that warranted the use of his Christian name--began. A sudden, distressing tightness pulled at Bennie’s chest. Nerves, he supposed. “Well, I suppose I could do that.” The tightness loosened immediately, bringing a smile to his face, a full one to match the other man’s growing one. “Shall we--er...”

the emoticon they’d use most often

😊

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

Quiet, but mostly the same. She’s used to running on no sleep

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

Warmed milk with a little honey in it. Though she finds hot chocolate very exciting too!

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

In the Shadowmists, she goes into a clearing and lets loose her power. Once it’s out of her system, she usually feels better. If she can’t do that, she likes to paint.

what they wanted to be when they grew up

Um, part of the High Court? It’s the only job she knew existed. Maybe mage for a kingdom but she can’t imagine taking sides between Western and Eastern Kingdoms.

their favorite kind of weather

Foggy and pleasantly cool. Like the Shadowmists!

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

She’s a mezzo-soprano. Her voice is nice but not incredible. 

how/what they like to draw or doodle

Swirls, squiggly lines, and abstract shapes that may or may not be runes accidentally

Wilhelmina

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod

“Me and Mrs. Jones” by Billy Paul“I Will” by MoZella“Shut Up and Dance” by Walk the Moon“I Really Like You” by Carly Rae Jepsen

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep — where they’re not supposed to

When she’s working on her sewing. It’s so boring.

the game they’d destroy everyone else at

Gin Rummy. She’s got great luck with it.

the emoticon they’d use most often

😘 probably

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

Whiny and impatient.

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

Tea! A proper English cup of tea is good for the soul

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

She takes a long bath and combs her hair. Mina loves some old fashioned self-care. She also puts on perfume. Se thinks smelling nice is the best way to care for herself.

what they wanted to be when they grew up

If she could have a job? She would’ve liked to be a flowershop owner or something quiet and quaint like that, you know.

their favorite kind of weather

Breezy, with some cloud cover. Not too hot and not too cold.

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

She has a soprano voice. It’s very good, actually. She has to compensate for not being titled by being very accomplished.

how/what they like to draw or doodle

Flowers or fruits. She’s done so many still-life paintings in her life, she can’t help it.

Benoit

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod

“Merry-Go-Round of Life” from Howl’s Moving Castle“Good Grief” by Bastille“Blackbird” by the Beatles“Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep — where they’re not supposed to

At dinner. He eats and gets tired and just poops out.

the game they’d destroy everyone else at

Something lame like Pong or something?

the emoticon they’d use most often

😑

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep

Short-tempered and even less social than normal.

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.

Coffee in the morning. Tea at night. He takes his coffee with a splash of cream and a half a spoon of sugar, and his tea black.

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump

He throws himself into his work--managing his estate or whatever other business thing he needs to do

what they wanted to be when they grew up

A captain in the army. He nearly enlisted but decided not to because his family needed him to put their reputation back together more.

their favorite kind of weather

Cold and dry. Like a crisp winter day

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?)

He’s a tenor with an okay voice. Not particularly good but not entirely unpleasant either.

how/what they like to draw or doodle

Gets jealous the most

Probably Sandra, tbh. Because she has all those self-esteem issues and stuff? But Lily definitely has her days

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive

Neither of them drinks that much so I guess Sandra but idk

Takes care of on sick days

Lily before Sandra really masters her powers. Sandra magics them better after she masters her powers though

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day

Lily would be so stoked by our beaches so Lily, probably

Gives unprompted massages

Both? All the time? They love each other a lot it’s gross?

Drives/rides shotgun

Sandra drives. Even after Lily learns, the novelty of being in a car never wears off (”IT’S A MACHINE ON WHEELS AND IT TAKES YOU PLACES THE SEATS ARE SO COMFORTABLE MINE GETS WARM WHEN IT IS COLD OUTSIDE SANDRA!!!”) so she prefers to ride

Brings the other lunch at work

Umm...both? But probably Lily is less likely to have a job?

Has the better parental relationship

Neither of them is close to their parents. Lily is very close to the Wise Woman and as close to the Priestess as anyone can be so I guess hers is better

Tries to start role-playing in bed

Ummm...Lily would have to. Sandra would be too embarrassed

Embarrassingly drunk dancer

Both and they love it about one another

Still cries watching Titanic

Lily can’t handle her shit ok?

Firmly believes in couples costumes

Lily is vocal about it. Sandra pretends not to be into it but she is.

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas

Neither. They give each other experiences and stuff like that

Makes the other eat breakfast

Lily makes sure Sandra eats when their in her world or other similar worlds. Sandra makes Lily eat when they’re in Sandra’s world. idk why

Remembers anniversaries

Sandra. Lily’s never heard of the idea.

Brings up having kids

Sandra again. In Lily’s world, there’s only the one way to become a parent...

OT4: Disarrangement (as one unit because they’re one unit for this)

Gives nose/forehead kisses

The most? Mina or Clarence.

Gets jealous the most

Adeline. OMG it’s so her tho

Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive

Bennie is the only one not also drunk at the bar so...

Takes care of on sick days

Clarence probably? He’s the most loving of the group?

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day

Mina! She loves going to the sea.

Gives unprompted massages

Umm...Mina probably does first, but Clarence makes it into an art

Drives/rides shotgun

Ooof...when Adeline drives, she likes to have Mina next to her. When Bennie drives he also likes to have Mina--Clarence talks to much and Ada puts on music he hates just to piss him off. Frankly, Bennie would prefer no one ride shotgun. Clarence has to sit next to Adeline because the other two distract him so much. Mina prefers having Adeline next to her but she’s not picky

Brings the other lunch at work

Clarence again? Or Mina if she’s in the right mood. Adeline would passive-aggressively only give Mina lunch and Bennie would passive-aggressively give everyone except Adeline lunch

Has the better parental relationship

I dunno. The  girls are both lying to their families already--Mina loves hers but can’t tell them and idk about Adeline yet--and Clarence’s family is lying to him. So maybe Bennie by default.

Tries to start role-playing in bed

Could be either girl tbqh

Embarrassingly drunk dancer

Bennie but he doesn’t drink a lot so no one gets to see. Clarence is an embarrassing dancer sober I bet.

Still cries watching Titanic

Clarence. “IT WAS TRUE LOVE! HOW ARE NOT ALL OF YOU MOVED TO TEARS? HAVE YOU NO SOUL?”

Firmly believes in couples costumes

Clarence again? Mina and Adeline might do like subtly-couples-costumes

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas

Bennie? Maybe? Not sure.

Makes the other eat breakfast

Clarence. A healthy breakfast is the start to a wonderful day.

Remembers anniversaries

Umm...all of them do but for their own reasons. Adeline and Mina don’t have one but they remember the time of year where they first fell in love or whatever. Bennie and Adeline remember theirs because they both hated their wedding and everything about it. Bennie and Clarence remember theirs because Clarence is a hopeless romantic and Bennie has a particularly good memory for events that completely change how his entire life works. And Mina and Clarence remember theirs because Mina spent the whole day like ???? and it was literally the best day of Clarence’s life. 

Brings up having kids

🌟 …someone my muse trusts

Evangeline would trust anyone as long as they’re not very obvious about their bad intentions. That said, she does trust her older sister Adelaide quite a lot. Adelaide is six years older than Evangeline, and married, and has a kid. She’s the third oldest of the bunch. Unlike her other older siblings that are married, Adelaide makes an effort to come home and visit with her parents and younger siblings. If she were to tell anyone about Joe, it would be her. Adelaide would actually keep the secret. Adelaide will probably help Evangeline out when she’s pregnant.

💔 …someone who broke my muse’s heart

There’s a lovely girl in their town named Isabelle. She’s blonde and tall and beautiful. Isabelle’s just a few years older than Eve. Eve fell in love with her. (Who could blame her?) Naturally, Isabelle had absolutely zero interest in Eve. She was disgusted when Eve hinted at her feelings towards her, and stated angrily that she was going to happily wed Benjamin Jones in four weeks, breaking Eve’s heart.

👫 …someone who has a crush on my muse.