ā¦ - āI begrudge Teokkin on several accounts,ā Kezza begins, helpful as ever. āThough I find a common variable in each; He possesses undeserved confidence, which is an insufferable trait when I require krewe cohesion.ā
ā¤ - āTeokkin was by no means exceptional at first encountering him. He was obedient, though I suspected he harbored resentment, or envy of my position. Evidently, my intuition was again on the mark.ā
The once-Magistrix affords herself a long drink, hissing irritation that she would continue. āRegardless, he proved competent. He performed better than his peers almost immediately upon recruitment. His utility as an elementalist couldnāt be overlooked, either.ā Her ears fold with a bitter expression, āHe wasnāt an unattractive specimen.ā
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Sorry I've been pretty silent, but I have to ask, is it related to the guild? I remember seeing that submission from gw2secrets and I'm wondering, is it related to that? I'm not sure what could be done about it now if that's the case, but, I'm curious if people are attacking you because they think that INQ is some group of trolls or some other dumb reason. Nonetheless, I am here for you as well.
Iām sorry I never really replied to this, Iāve wanted to. This was really important to see in my inbox that day. I needed all the support I could get, and yourās was the only other message on here besides the anonās. Even skype was lonely, so this meant a lot to me.
To answer you though,
Itās.. sort of related. The gw2secrets post wasnāt as hurtful as it was confusing, since I knew all my guildmates, and knew none of them were the malicious, good-for-nothing disruptive trolls that post claimed. To the contrary, you know as well as I do how often INQ was the target of trolling, both organized and random, malicious or merely disruptive. So ultimately, I chalked it up to the nature of gw2secrets and refused to engage it.
INQ gets its share of hate. Most of it, as far as I can tell, is resultant of misinformation, mistaken identity (thereās been a lot of Inquest players, not everyone is INQ!), or unrelated disputes between players. I donāt think we deserve the amount of hate weāve gotten in the past, but Iāve been very happy with how well the guild handles it. They have always been honest, open, and mature, no matter how ugly itās gotten. Iām grateful for them.
There is no reason for me to take personal offense to any of the rumor-mongering or trolling or outright hate INQ and I recieve.
But I do.
It shouldnāt hurt, but it does. And it begun to weigh on me, so much more than I ever intended. I was braced, from the beginning, to deal with any amount of shit thrown my way. But after getting so invested, and as my actual life, my reasons for being, outside the game were stripped away piece by piece.. My endurance failed. I was vulnerable to any slight, any weight put on my shoulders, and it was beginning to wear on me.
I am fully aware of how pathetic, how melodramatic it all sounds. But I became so sensitive to any upset regarding the game that I just couldnāt play anymore. Really, any upset in any part of my daily routine irl was terrible. To expand on a post I made on the guild tumblr, itās largely why Iāve been on continual hiatus. My mental health could not put up with even logging in, let alone resuming my duties, and I didnāt want the guild to suffer over it. A long stretch of absence, in my mind, was better than my trying to act as guild leader when I couldnāt even lead myself through daily life.
I hope that sheds some light on things. In short, yeah, the negativity people have given INQ and myself does not help, but ultimately.. my life is in shambles, and I havenāt been well for a very, very long time. Itās no oneās fault, least of all anyone in the gw2 community.
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ā, ā, ā«, and optionally since, at least for me, the question is more difficult to answer, ā.
āĀ : Iād have a few more names here but theyāve kind of all quit recently and it makes me sadface. But really, if youāre reading this, and we have never RPed together before, I want to. Iāll just tag people with characters whoāve come to mind recently: sphenodontia borriltheresolute yimyeta littletchotchkes lintufriikki nightmarecourt inquestleaderkudu magisterisa mini-miser
ā«Ā : Omf. There is one that came across my radar again recently and I was fury. Itās a rare one to find in this community, so rare that I nearly forgot it existed, but it lives on and lives strong. Itās the āItās bad roleplaying if you donāt let your character do whatever you want them to do no matter whatā philosophy. That it can only be āfunā if you donāt assign any restrictions to your characterās behavior based on things as ātrivialā as personality, motivation, or the restrictions of time and space.
Itās one thing to carry on whichever way you want in a game; thatās fine, whatever, enjoy. But you donāt get to play professor or police to other players. You donāt get to āadviseā them that your way is the only way, while shitting on everyone whoās put substantial work into fleshing out a character and preferring to play them as who they are, rather than as a projection of themselves. Just fucking. Go somewhere else, please; go find some like-minds and leave the rest of us alone.
āĀ : Uuugh where do I start. My prose is weak and repetitive, my vocabularyās been stunted from a previous peak, my sentence structure pretty much comes in two flavors, Iām too weighty and verbose, I could go on but those are the biggest irks I have with my writes.
āĀ : Less a plot and more an arc that Kezza may actually be on the cusp of..
She started as a painfully idealistic individual who could never see her people as anything less than perfect, but her good nature was poised to steer her from the Inquest very early on. I expected within a month of playing her, tbh.
Obviously that didnāt pan out. Contrary to my anticipations, it was her idealism and good heart that solidified her loyalty and purpose with the Inquest. She witnessed terrible things occur by the hands of bookah and, unspeakably, her fellow asura. Where asura outside the metakrewe would casually boast about how many of their own theyāve slain in cold blood, her krewemates held a more academic and philanthropic collective attitude than the general populace. And this was the first step towards darkness.
Blahh blah blah, Kezzaās stalwart faith in her peopleās inherent value is being challenged. Challenge it enough, and we may have a very different Magistrix emerging in the coming months.
