#jh011

To whom it may concern:

I think that I’m finally starting to figure myself out. I spent this morning just thinking about this, and I have started to realize who I want to be and who I used to be, who I’m not and never was.

I’m not anyone’s vision of me, or what anyone intended for me to be. I don’t think I ever was. I’m not who I thought I was, either, and I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be what someone made me. I don’t want to be timid and weak. I don’t want to be angry. I don’t want to be bitter and heartless. I don’t want to be scared anymore.

I want to be what I made me. I want to be kind, and loyal, and honest. I want to be patient and understanding. I want to be able to sympathize with people. I want to be brave; not fearless, but the kind of person who can be afraid and still do what needs to be done, simply because someone needs to do it. I want to be good.

I still don’t know exactly who I am. Not yet, at least. I’m still figuring that part out. But I think that, if I focus on the things that I’m not, I’ll be able to figure that out, too. Not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

I feel like, maybe, I will finally be able to like that person.