hate hate hate when people shit and hate on homeless people! (when i mention homeless, i mean all forms. on the streets in tents, ditches, etc. cars, motels, between houses, temporarily with other people, literally anywhere. if you donāt have a stable living situation)
unless you have ever been homeless yourself, or even close to it, you shouldnāt be acting as if homeless people are gross, or making the streets or wherever ālook badā. and ESPECIALLY donāt accuse them of losing their home/growing up homeless is their fault! because more often than not, itās not! sometimes it is, yes, donāt get me wrong, but it usually isnāt.
a lot people think that the homeless are the way they are because they either do drugs, purposely avoided paying or purposely did something they shouldnāt have, or they have been to prison, so they ādeserveā it. a lot of the times, substance abuse, alcoholism, and other crimes happen BECAUSE theyāre homeless, and they often resort to bad habits such as using drugs or drinking excessively (when able to get money), or various crimes (either to get money, because getting caught and going to jail/prison is better than being in the streets or whatever else they are, or because they want to)
some of the most common reasons are:
mental health - even likenesses such as depression and anxiety can lead to homelessness if the person doesnāt receive proper help. any mental illness can get to the point of being unable to properly care for yourself, your home, etc. it can lead to quitting jobs and so much more. bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are pretty common among the mental illnesses people who become homeless have. but mental likenesses can definitely be formed WHEN they become homeless. itās a traumatic experience for everyone, whether you were born into it, or life just happened. but remember, but every homeless person has or will develop a mental illness! iāve met PLENTY of overall happy and mostly mentally healthy people who have or are homeless. sometimes, when people are put into psych wards, it can be for only a few days, or sometimes months, and come back to see that theyāve been evicted. (and when youāre evicted, in a lot of places, you usually canāt rent a place for a certain amount of time. in Colorado, i believe itās 7 years) a lot of places and landlords will not care what happened to make you unable to pay. they can often become involved with bad people, or bad habits.
physical health - similar to mental health, being unable to get the proper support can be extremely detrimental in many ways, especially when it comes to housing. iāve known multiple people whoāve either been attacked, gotten into an accident of some sort, or something left them disabled, which all caused them from being unable to take care if their living space, or unable to pay rent. itās especially awful when something like that happens, you end up in a hospital, and after going home who knows how long later, everything you own is thrown out, you have no home, and possibly a few court dates. all because of something they had no control over. and homeless people are more likely to get sick, injured, or attacked (homeless shelters are often very crowded, usually over the capacity, ESPECIALLY IN winter, which makes sickness very likely, and they often donāt have health insurance. the homeless can get attacked anywhere, but especially out in the open, or even when living with bad people they had no choice but to stay with). a lot of hospitals will usually kick a homeless person out once theyāre healed up enough, even if theyāre aware of the fact that the person may not have anyone to help them. this often leads to them ending up right back in the hospital in a worse off situation (if theyāre even alive). they can often become involved with bad people, or bad habits.
abuse - sexual, physical, emotional, and any other types are included in this. it can be any age, whether it be a young child, or an elder. if someone is desperate enough to escape, and they have no one thatāll help them, the person or people will risk homelessness just to get away from whoeverās abusing them. they donāt always get the chance to grab things like money, important documents, clothing, or even their phone. sometimes, the only opportunity they have is to run the second they get, which often means leaving everything behind. sometimes, this is easier to get out of because of the circumstances for becoming homeless, but not always. because these people are in such a vulnerable spot, it can be easy to (like the other above), fall into bad habits or end up with bad people (equally as abusive, or worse, friendships, relationships, groups, gangs. a lot of victims of abuse or toxic relationships often find themselves drawn to people of similar personalities because thatās what theyāve come to know and become used to, so itās easier to go down that path again), prostitution, drugs, etc.
race, gender, sexuality, disabilities - (disabilities can go along with mental and physical health as well). people are more likely to become homeless if theyāre part of a minority or smaller group compared to white, cishet men and women (POC and biracial are more likely than white men and women to become homeless. women, trans, nb, etc. are more likely to become homeless than men. non straight individuals are more likely than straight individuals to become homeless. people with disabilities of most any kind are more more likely to become homeless than the more āableā people).
thereās a lot more reasons, more more simple and complex, that someone could become homeless, so donāt think these are the ONLY reasons.
it can be extremely difficult to get back up after having fallen down, especially to this point, and some people never DO get back to stable living (if theyāve ever been there or begin with). many places donāt have enough AFFORDABLE housing, and with everything going up in price, it become almost impossible to even try. and for those unable to work (whether it be due to race, disability, gender, etc), who donāt have any retirement or savings, theyāve pretty much fucked, and theyād be lucky if they could even get a studio or room with ss or any other types of payments given over a time.
also, not all homeless people look or smell āhomelessā, if you even want to say that. PLENTY of homeless people put just as much care into their physical appearance and hygiene as much as anyone else does, IF they have the access to what they need. just because they donāt fit the stereotypical āhomeless lookā doesnāt mean they arenāt struggling, arenāt homeless. sometimes, thatās all they have that they can focus on, and not the mention, looking and smelling better, (no surprise there, unfortunately) will more forms than not, have people respect you and like you more. itās simply just about getting through some of the worst situations in the best ways they can.
when people ARE able to finally bring themselves back up to a more stable life style, from whatever it was that put them at that low point to begin with, money especially is something a lot of people struggle with. i donāt mean losing it, necessarily.
money anxiety and compensatory spending (thereās probably another name for it) is a serious problem that can lead to someone ending up right back where they were. after dealing with poverty, homelessness, and overall money insecurity, a person can sometimes feel the need to immediately spend whatever money they get on something (whether itās a need or want), often in fear of the money disappearing to something else before they can use it. when you go from have little to no money, to having a stable income or gaining wealth, you can feel the need to make up for the past by spending and buying things. itās EXTREMELY stressful, feeling like you have to use that money no matter what, even when there was no need to, because youāre okay now. you fear that anything could happen, so using it while you can is better than letting it sit. sometimes, seeing the amount of money in your bank account can cause anxiety, because youāre just not used to it. itās a panicked desire, and CAN turn into compulsive buying disorder. these people arenāt to be judged. they need help. itās often something they canāt help. not everyone experiences this. some people ARE good at managing their money
my personal experience
iāve been through homelessness multiple times through my life after the passing of my grandma (who was the main source of income. my mom and i lived with her. my mom dropped out of high school during 10th or 11th, got her GED, and never pursued further education. for what she knew how to do, there werenāt very many well paying jobs). my grandma got small cell cancer in 2015 or 2016, which took a lot of money and time (my mom was forced to take a lot of time off work), and my grandma had to eventually quit her job. my grandma passed away in 2017. in late 2917 or early 2018, my mom had a major heart attack, where she survived, but obviously took a major toll on her and me, and the money. one month before school ended for me, April 2018, we were forced to leave the condo. with the low paying job my mom had, we had to live in a motel for a month, leave our 3 dogs in boarding, pay for a storage unit for our stuff we kept, worrying about gas money, food, laundry, worrying about school uniforms, etc. ALL OF THAT cost money. and from 6th grade to 8th grade, when all this stuff was happening, i was dealing with severe depression, anxiety, and a few other undiagnosed mental illnesses, and did terribly in school, which with everything happening, was not helping.
june 2018 came around. my mom was able to rent an apartment, the first place she had EVER rented. since she had always lived with my grandma, she knew nothing about buying or renting. we got our dogs back, we got furniture, we got back in our feet (i was 14 at the time). 9th grade came around, and it was overall well. i did good in school for the most part (mentally, not as much, but grade wise, yes). all throughout the year, there were countless points where we had little to no food for days (my mom focused on feeding me and my dogs first, then herself. my dogs were well off, but her and i would go to bed hungry half the nights), and there were multiple times where my mom feared weād lose the apartment. i, unfortunately, went through about 8 months of online sexual grooming during that time, which didnāt help in the mental health aspect. everything that happened, along with a bad breakup, had left me vulnerable. then came 10th grade (middle/late 2019). i started developing a few health problems, which took me out of school often. in early October (i turned 16), my mom was given a 3 days eviction notice. we were distraught and panicked, to be expected. we had to immediately put our dogs back into boarding for another month, had to hiring a moving company quickly (which costed more due to the short notice), buy more bins and boxes to pack our stuff in, and rent another storage unit. from october 8th to early november, we stayed in a multitude of motels and hotels in multiple cities. I hardly went to school during that time, as it was difficult to manage with my momās work, the time, and distance. my mom couldnāt afford her insulin and other medications for her heart and diabetes.
in the beginning of November, my mom came to an agreement with a friend of hers who worked at her work, and we were allowed to stay at her friends home (weāll call her H). the house wasā¦a disaster. it was a hoarders house, bugs and trash everywhere, so much dog urine in the carpets that they were black, black mold, and dust everywhere, and mice (i have very severe allergies and skin problems, to the point were it can be debilitating at times, and the uncleanliness of the house made those problems 100x times worse.) aside from us, there was 6 other people who lived there (and 2 other dogs), two of which we would soon come to find out were veryā¦threatening and abusive (T+D) we got our dogs back, and we had about 2 or 3 suitcases all together for our clothes and essentials. all of our dogs came back *black* and dirty, and one of them, who had incontinence issues, was significantly worse off. peeing all the time, without being aware of it, day and night, going through bouts of not eating and being lethargic. that was a huge amount of money we needed to spend.
from that point onward, was probably the worst. from November 2019 to October 2022, we werenāt allowed to shower or do laundry at the house, so thereād be more gas spent, more money wasted, and time taken to drive 30+ minutes just to shower. we usually werenāt allowed to use any of their food, and anything we put in their fridge was thrown out and destroyed. and there, of course, was many times we went hungry for days, couldnāt do the little laundry we had for weeks, or shower for weeks. we kept a few boxes right next it the door to our small little dusty and moldy room that me, my mom, and 3 dogs shared, and eventually a mini fridge. march 2020 and covid obviously came along. T+D, especially T, more and more often, threatened us (throwing us out, threats of violence at my mom, me, and my dogs, hints at killing my mom, me, or my dogs), even T going on to mention the wet dreams and sexual thoughts he had about my mom (he was married to D). and while he never outright said anything about me (16-18), there were multiple times iād catch him ogling or making subtle (sexual) comments about me. weāve discovered some of our things missing, moved, or broken, but never had evidence to blame anyone. T+D also got a dog and cat of their own, and had a 6 year old son, all of which they abused or mistreated (they were reported) we slept on air mattresses for those years, which definitely negatively affected our bodies (i even had to go to the hospital at some point after multiple times throughout a few months of nearly throwing up, nearly passing out, falling/not being able to sit or stand from the mattresses, excruciating limb pain and facial pain). my schooling was severely affected as well. i was in and out of school multiple times, at different schools (getting to school from where we were staying could be over an hour with traffic, 45 without. iād have to get up at like 4 in the morning, so i could go sit at my momās work until 7:45am till she could take me to school, and just to end up back home at 5 or 6pm. i was doing terribly emotionally, mentally, physically. i was tired and hungry all the time, and did terrible when i WAS at school. when my school tried to help, and found out that we werenāt āhomeless on the streetsā, they completely stopped helping), and I eventually just stopped going to school because i couldnāt handle it. after some time, my mom started bringing me to her work to just sit there and sometimes intern, since she feared T would try to do something to me. Since this was a REALLY hard time for me, and i was just in what seemed like an endless depression and filled with constant anxiety and other issues. i made a friend online, who i became qpps with, and they, even knowing my boundaries, groomed me (itās funny how it happened twice). i was a minor for most of the time, 16-18, and they were about 22-25 (quite a bit older than me, thatās all i remember) during those times. i was able to call them out and get away from them after those two years, but it took a huge toll on me
In October 2022, my mom passed away (reasons, iām not sure. i suspect the possibility of cancer, as a lot of symptoms line up, but it couldāve been a heart attack, mini heart attacks thought years, or who knows what else). She was a smoker, had diabetes and no medication for it or her heart, and ate and drank very unhealthily (not that we had much of a choice at the time), her mental health was terrible, and the stress definitely did not help. she and my grandma were really my only family (who i trusted and were comfortable with), and while i was 18, less than a month till 19 at that point, our situation and my very low mental health prevented me from going out and learning how to get a job, finish school, or be able to learn how to drive (the driving was partially my doing, i hate driving. so bad). that was, and still is, one of the most painful and traumatic moments for me, even with everything else that happenedā¦waking up right next to my mom, eerily silent, the room smelling, well, like death, and turning around, trying to wake her up, and then realizing sheās cold. likely because she couldnāt handle the stress anymore, because her body couldnāt go without her medications, or because she couldnāt get proper healthcare for whatever it was that mightāve killed her, or even worse. what my dogs mightāve been thinking, sleeping next to and on an increasingly cold and stiffening body. i didnāt eat or sleep for the next three days, and if it werenāt for my dogs, i definitely wouldāve given up.
during that time, i texted a teacher i used to be very close to and loved in 2nd, 4th, and 5th. she and her husband (and two young daughters) agreed to help me. help me and my dogs get out of that terrible house, pay for things while i couldnāt, get a new phone, get anything my mom had left for me, help me learn how to drive, to help me get back into school, how to get a job, cook, just how to do life things. and they did! i appreciate them greatly for that, butā¦A (the teacher that i texted) did eventually start becoming quite toxic. not abusive, but there was subtle manipulation, guilt tripping, etc. there were multiple times where sheād get unnecessarily mad at me for not knowing something, making me feel bad, and make me apologize for things i never even did. sheād make comments about me, or my mom, or my grandma and how it was our fault we ended up the way we did. made constant comments about how i should get over it, even before the funeral. how i was lucky that my mom died so i could get financial aid (i know she didnāt mean she wanted her parents dead, but it was very insensitive. and we were already homeless and rarely had any money. i wouldāve gotten financial aid. itās actually HARDER for my to get fa now, even the fa helpers said they donāt usually deal with my specific type of case). it blew my mind howā¦casual she blurted that out. there were plenty of others things that made me feel less than or small, and just more upset and insecure. she forced me to get rid of one of my dogs without letting me say a proper goodbye, one morning before school and work. she hardly let my dogs out of their kennels when i was at school or work (12+ hours some times), while expecting me to care for her own, and even go above and beyond past what i even do for my dogs. sheād expect me to act almost as a stand in mother (or even like a fucking maid at some point) to her kids when she and her husband werenāt there, or even when her husband was there. and while i enjoyed hanging out with the kids and doing stuff for them sometimes, it was the fact that i was scolded by A anytime sheād get back if i did even one thing wrong. at the beginning, sheād take whatever money out of the stuff she helped raise for me to use for herself before i had a bank account (she is wealthy). i had paid her back everything she did help me with, plus help around the house, cook for everyone, take care of everyone and her dogs, and did errands for her. i couldnāt really tell her no or that i found that weird, in fear of kicking me out, which she had threatened multiple times. she had let one of my dogs run away (we got her back). the therapist i had at the time suggested i bring A in to talk about the problems i had with how she was acting and what sheās said towards me, which i did after a few weeks if hesitation. the whole time, i was balling, and trying desperately to explain what was bothering me, while expressing and taking responsibility for anything i mightāve said or done. i explained how i could see certain things in her perspective and why she mightāve said what she said or did what she did. and afterwards? she blew it off, all her responses were along the lines of āyouāre remembering it wrongā, āi never said thatā, āi said that onceā, and all the gaslighting bullshit. never once she she even take partially responsibility. i also starting dealing with pretty bad money anxiety and compensatory spending.
i moved out about a year and a half ago, and iām doing much much better, at least when it comes to where iām living. i live alone, am secure in terms of housing and food, care for my currently 1 dog
āāāā
the reason i brought up my own experience isnāt to gain sympathy or anything of the sort (there may be a little venting lol). a multitude of issues can bring upon homelessness, and multiple of issues can be caused or developed DUE to being homeless. my experience is just one of the millions, and it is unique as everyone elseās experiences. some people have it better than me, and some worse, but no matter what, all experiences are valid!
i wanted to share my experience along with the rest of the stuff in this post to bring awareness that there homelessness is often more complicated than just simply being out in the streets on begging. my mom worked at a clinic for the homeless, and so my time there interning and visiting, and my experiences, makes me extremely interested in, if not helping directly, at least spreading the awareness of what it CAN be like. my experience is not anyone elseās, so others would have the share their own experiences of what theyāve been through! while i canāt promise anyone in a similar situation or going through homeless that itāll all be fine, since it depends on a variety of different factors, i know that if there is a way for it to get better, it will š itās okay to lean on friends for support (with consent), but please donāt take advantage of their kindness. and anyone who helps, donāt take advantage of their vulnerability
there will surely be things i missed (iāve been typing this for four hours), but i definitely tried. i have thoughts and they must be shared. if thereās something i should word differently, or if something comes off as bad, do let me know! i was just pouring my thoughts into this for like 4 hours and im tired š
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when someone (a cishet man usually š) tells you theyāll āmake you straightā or that theyāll āchange your mindā or something along those lines, like
what the fuck do mean by that? because personally i feel unsafe now
i feel so silly about asking how to actually connect with others and make friends in the community because i used to BE SO GOOD at making friends online š and now i donāt know what to do!! how did this happen! it wasnāt a kink/fetish community, ofc, but still!
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I GOING TO MICHIGAN OFFICIALLY WAAAA I just got off call w my friend while buying tickets :> im so excited im jumping up and down rn! first time flying in 10 years, and first time flying alone omg ā¦.
depending on how things go my friendās familyā¦they might even help me move from CO to MI or NC before 2026 iām so exciteeed šš
