#jemmo

—  inspired by a snippet of @jemmo ‘s post “the confession” :

After episode six I wrote: “Kinn's love language is in his words but Porsche's love language is in his actions.” Some time after that I read a fabulous post by @iffervescent about how miscommunication is being handled in the show…which seemed to contradict the conclusion I had come to. It made me stop and think about whether I had interpreted things ‘wrong’…but once my Thoughts started forming I came to a slightly different inference. I’m going to attempt to spread out those thoughts here…and you might need to bear with me. (For the sake of this post I’m treating ‘communication’ and ‘love language’ as the same thing…which might not technically be correct but I'm doing it anyway.)

So @iffervescent’s take is that (pre ep 6) Kinn communicates through his actions whereas Porsche communicates through words and therefore neither were getting what they needed from the other. (Apologies if I've butchered your amazing analysis through my summary!)

However, after ep 6, I felt that Kinn was much more open to talking honestly…much more than Porsche, who seemed to shut down a little when Kinn tried to talk about that night and his wrongdoings and then Porsche defaulted to a jokiness soon after. And since Porsche found it hard to talk (I mean, he literally faked choking at one point, symbolising how he couldn’t get his words out), he instead did a lot for Kinn, using his actions to show his care towards Kinn.

And so I thought Kinn showed his affections through his words and Porsche showed his through his actions...And Kinn (pre ep 6) may not always have the right words or say them in the right way but that’s how he wants to communicate…and therefore it’s all the more tragic for him because his position and need to be distant makes him say the opposite to what he means to Porsche...and that’s probably why he ends up only being able to show Porsche that he cares in his actions. And similarly, Porsche wants to be there for Kinn, to show him he's there for him, to do things for him, but which is made hard because Kinn doesn't let him, by removing him as his bodyguard.

But in ep 6 we see a change in both of them. They’re removed from their real lives, alone in a place of limbo where they can be free to be themselves, and we see them gradually shift into their true nature – Kinn can speak freely and openly, without his father and the pressure of The Family and his obligations within it, and Porsche can act freely and openly, on equal ground since the boss/bodyguard hierarchy is rendered obsolete (as @jemmo wrote in a comment, "them being cuffed together is giving them something else...they’re two equals, tied together, both made to cooperate and listen and be on a level playing field.")

And I think this ties into the handcuff and lighter symbolism that I (in a post) and @jemmo (in her tags) have written a bit about already…

Ep 6 was an opportunity for Kinn and Porsche to both let their inner-child play and have fun (unlike how they were both prevented from doing as children for different reasons) as well as deal with their issues and get closer to one another. Porsche was able to lead on the former - since he enjoyed teasing and playing with Kinn, to draw out Kinn’s true nature, the lighter side of him – and Kinn led on the latter – keeping them handcuffed together unnecessarily because he needed this time with Porsche for them to connect, to understand one another, to form a stronger attachment. Here’s what @jemmo said on this:

#…the thing about the lighter and the handcuffs #Porsche wanting to see the light kinn has suppressed and buried deep inside him #and kinn wanting to desperately hold on to and build this bond between them through any way he can #…it’s such a perfect metaphor #for the things they hide and keep from each other #Porsche doesn’t let them bond bc he’s been hurt and it’s too difficult to let it happen #and kinn doesn’t let his lighter side show bc he can’t he cannot be that person the world won’t let him #but the irony is when they both give in they both get what they want #in showing his lighter side kinn gets to build a stronger bond with Porsche #and in letting them connect Porsche gets to see kinns lighter side

So in giving in to each other, they get closer and feel more comfortable in being themselves, and therefore are able to revert to their true nature – Kinn can talk openly and Porsche can act as he wants.

BUT this doesn’t quite solve the communication issue…because having thought about it I don’t think it’s as clear cut as one uses words whilst the other uses actions. I think it’s a four-way mesh…and I’ll try to explain succinctly.

I think both Kinn and Porsche show love and communication with their actions but they both also need to hear communication and love through words. Which makes it tricky because they’re both basically offering the same (or trying to and being blocked by different obstacles) and not receiving what they need (again for different reasons).

I think ep 6 opened the way for them to both realise this - in that isolated place, and helped by their growing closeness, Kinn was able to give Porsche the words he needed to hear and in turn this helped Porsche reciprocate…to some extent. Kinn, already in the habit of showing his care of Porsche through his actions, was still able to do things for Porsche (or at least tried with the fire and fishing!), and Porsche, free to be himself, was able to also finally do things for Kinn (like show him how to fish!).

Now, I said ‘to some extent’ there because I think it’s still harder for Porsche to speak honestly than it is for Kinn and I think this imbalance will be the cause of some continued miscommunication between them. The small exchange in ep 6 they have about 'doubts' has stuck with me… Kinn says to Porsche, “Then, from now on, there won’t be any doubts between us anymore,” after which Porsche agrees but looks nervous or uncomfortable about it. Kinn then frowns and I wonder if there’s a small part of him (his insecurities) that maybe doesn’t believe (i.e. trust) Porsche is being genuine in his agreement (and the thing is Porsche probably was but was just feeling increasingly awkward about having to speak honestly). And it makes me think of that scene we haven’t seen yet where Porsche slaps Kinn and tells him, “You never trust me,” and it just makes me wonder if this will be a miscommunication issue grown from this small exchange in ep 6 - Kinn needed to hear a stronger affirmation from Porsche which he didn't get and his insecurities will only grow until he gets it.

slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or gender bend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane 

Hiii 💖✨ so funny you should ask, i’ve had vice versa on the brain this week when is it not, had a lot of time to think, and unironically had these tswift songs on rotation

SO, allow me to show you puentalay (taylor’s version):

Enchanted (‘playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks, like passing notes in secrecy’)

Treacherous (’i cant decide if its a choice, getting swept away’)

’tis the damn season (moreso the bridge than anything)

Call It What You Want (’i know i make the same mistakes every time, bridges burn i never learn, at least i did one thing right’)

WE’RE ALREADY CRYING IN THE CHAT

ps welcome to the uk here is your customary cup of tea ☕️

Hi jemmo! Thank you for the question prompts. I thought i would have time to answer them yesterday when I was travelling but it was such a faff that I couldn't. And thank you for the tea, I was in fact drinking a cup when I read your message 💪🏼

5. Did you learn a skill or get a new hobby during lockdown?

I was quite lucky in that I had already started a Creative Writing Masters when the pandemic happened, which was all online anyway, so not much changed for me when the 'lockdown' began. That being said, I suppose I could say I learnt more about the writing process and the course also opened up other areas of knowledge and study to me, like neuroscience, embodiment, and psychology...but they're not really new skills or hobbies. I tried to learn sign language but quickly discovered I needed to learn in person in classes if I was going to properly learn or develop...and that's exactly what I couldn't do during the lockdown! So, a long-winded way of saying no?

26. Have you ever won a contest?

Ummm...well, having done gymnastics as a child, I guess yes - gymnastics competitions - as well as dance competitions. But I don't really remember them. And I think I may have won some kind of contest as an adult...but I don't remember 😂 I have a terrible memory. I do however have a guilty memory of winning the opportunity to go to the boat show in London through my secondary school but I think I copied a friend's design and she should really have gone - ooops!

42. Do you have a favourite swear word?

I seem to use fu*k or fu*king a lot on this blog but my automatic go-to word is actually the swedish version of the f-word -> "jävla" because it just feels so good to say (here's a vid of the pronunciation). I also like to roll an invisible 'r' at the end, which is not correct, but feels better adding a hard sound to the end (like the 't' at the end of 'sh*t', or 'k' at the end of 'fu*k'). When I'm really p*ssed at something, I'll combine them in 'jävla fu*king christ' (apologies to anyone offended for that 🙃).

JESS!!!! THE WISE, BELOVED SUPERIOR JESS HELOO 🥺✨

3. what’s your favorite candle scent? ohh i wish i could remember, its been years since last candle

7. what color brings you peace? i’m pretty fond of #dbe7e6 or any variation of this pastel

18. do you still love stuffed animals? yES