#jem2

Quando un atleta, un campione passa in officina per preparare in anteprima la sua bici, è un piacere e un onore 👍🔝 @fontanaprorider 🚀🚀 e la nuova @focusbikes #jem2 #ciclimazzoni #mtb #mtblife #piacenzastyle #mtbpiacenza #mtbmania #mtbracing #focusbikes #bosch #mtbike #MTBcapixaba #mtblovers #mtbdownhill #mtbaddict #mtbuk #mtbbc #mtbxcpl #mtb_is_awesome_ #mtbmonday #mtbachelorstoked #mtbpassion #manutenzione #mtbchile #MtBatolusong #mtbmania #mtbvt (presso Cicli Mazzoni) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0bi1Oco_4p/?igshid=64n2z840c167

I know I'm pushing you away. And I know why. I'm so terrified that you're going to leave this summer because our plans are going to fall through. We were going to see each other every weekend, spend as much time as possible together before next year starts, before I'm in school and you're working and we hardly see each other ever. It's going to be so hard to do that the way we planned, and I'm so scared you're going to realize that I'm still not worth it. You can find someone so much better, who always lifts you up instead of bringing you down, who you can see all the time, who is worthy of you in every single way I'm not. So I'm pushing you away. I'm lashing out and getting angry and taking out all of my frustration on you, without even trying. I hate myself for doing this to you and for how I've been treating you the past week. You deserve so much better than me, Madison. I don't know what I'm going to do when you realize that. 

So this is how it goes, for now. I'll fall asleep at the edge of my bed, holding my pillow close and pretending it's you as you, miles away, leave a space for my body next to yours in your bed. Pillows and empty spaces; months until we can replace and fill. My imagination isn't good enough to project your warmth, your embrace, your smile onto the pillow, and no matter how hard I try, I can't fill the void next to you. But pillows and empty spaces can't return the favors. They can't hold us, too. They can't comfort, protect, whisper "I love you, too" into the darkness as we both drift off to sleep. I miss you, babe. 

Our conversation last night was like no conversation I've ever had. I've never been close to feeling the way I did when we hung up and I went to sleep. I wanted nothing more than to have you laying next to me so I could actually do the things we were saying. I want to make explore parts of you that no one's ever seen or touched and I want to make you feel as incredible as I'm picturing it could be in my head. I'm so scared to say the words that I'm dying to say, because I'm scared of how you'll react even though it's pretty clear that you want the same thing. I want to love you, in ways other than I already do. You are a beautiful, incredible woman, and I am so in love with you. I just can't wait to show you someday.

This isn't fair. You caught my attention months ago, the very beginning of the year. I always wondered about you. There was just something about you that caught my eye and made me look twice. But I was so, so tired of having feelings for straight girls...even though I wondered about you even then. I am in love with my girlfriend. I can't deny that and I won't put it a way it's not. I trust her and I believe her when she says she loves me, and that's one of the reasons I love her so much, because she's the first person to make me believe the things she says So why are you doing this to me now? The flirting in class, on the way out of lunch, whenever you see me in the hallway. Liking my status that's from a song obviously about another person. I would never cheat on Maddie, but this is making me feel like I already am.