#jef warner

Tommy glared across the table at Jef. “I cannot believe you’re going to do this. To your own friend!” 

Jef shrugged. “Sorry, man. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” 

“I’m gonna hate you! And you, Pete!” 

“Hey, don’t give up yet,” Jaime patted his shoulder. “We can still do this!” 

“Easy for you to say. You’re not about to die by the hand of,” he glared at Jef and Pete, “the people you thought were your friends.” 

“Hey man, you and Jaime were the ones who suggested we do this,” Pete defended. “After all the times we caught you fucking in the dressing room and closet, we deserve a little revenge!” 

“Like this?!” Tommy gestured to what they were doing. “This is madness!” 

“I mean, in fairness,” Jaime said, “they do have more power than us. Plus their outfits are pretty amazing.” 

Jef and Pete smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Jaime,” 

“Yeah, we really worked hard on ‘em.” 

Tommy facepalmed. “I’m going to die. I’m going to die with an absolute idiot!” 

“You might not,” Patrick piped up from where he sat between the two tag-teams. “There’s still a chance you can get out of this alive...” he held up his Dungeon Master notepad and pencil. “As long as you roll anything above a three. So go ahead and roll the twelve-sided di, Tommy.” 

Sighing, Tommy took up the twelve-sided di and shook it in his hands, muttering under his breath. “C’moooooon, three!” 

He threw the di, and the whole band watched it clatter and roll across the table. It began to slow down until it came to a stop, and the five looked to see that it had fallen on...

Patrick winced. “Two. Sorry, Tommy. Jef’s Ice Storm spell has killed your elf.” 

“Ayyyy!” Jef pumped his fists in the air. “Suck on it, Thayer!” 

“Goddammit!” Tommy smacked his hands on the table. “Fuck you, Warner!” 

“Whoa, language, man. You kiss your mother with that mouth?” 

“No, he kisses me with it,” Jaime interjected, grinning widely. 

Pete rolled his eyes. “Yeah, we know.” He snatched up the di. “Okay, my turn. I cast Magic Missile on Jaime.” 

“What the fuck, man?! I thought we were friends!” 

“Clearly you’ve forgotten the Number One Rule,” Patrick said solemnly. 

Jaime sighed, and all of them said the rule aloud. 

Produced by Gene Simmons

German Import