#jeevastm

It’s been several months since she was last at Fibonacci. The feeling of standing in this ward still gives her a lingering sense of dread. Memories from the past still fresh at the back of her mind. She would’ve asked Kyrie to come with her, but decided against it. She breathes in then slowly breathes out. She just needs to go into her housing, grab a couple of things and head back out. Quick and easy and yet her feet doesn’t even move. Her body doesn’t WANT to move.

“Maybe I’ll just come back next time.” With Kyrie? With Grimm? With Nero? With...who? She can’t keep relying on them. This is just another step into the direction she wants and NEEDS to go. 

Mello holds the bag of peas to his eye, a grimace on his face. The woman at the grocery store had looked stunned at his split lip and black eye, and the way he winced as he moved didn’t exactly help to make her stop staring. Though his pride was wounded he was too focused on the sharp pain in his side to care that much.

Dying had sucked, getting the shit beaten out of you almost sucked more. Maybe it’s because he had to face the humiliation afterwards, at least Takada had spared him from that.

Feeling both hungry and irritated he made his way out of the store with intent to go home, the peas doing barely anything to stop the swelling. His mouth was set in a hard line: today had really blown. It had blew more than his fight with Matt, more than getting stuck in this stupid city. 

He’s so irritated by the whole situation that he almost doesn’t notice that his best friend is smoking right outside. Mello feels something like regret coiling in his stomach, and he presses the makeshift ice pack against his eye more. He clears his throat and tries to look as formidable as one could in this state, though it hurts to make too many facial expressions.

          🔅: What’s a place that holds special meaning to them? Why?

     ok this is one of my really specific headcanons but... it was a gymnastics studio. it’s one of his favorite places he’s gotten high, he says—he and his friend broke in after his mother passed away. she said her mother owned it. at first it was just something she set up to make him feel a bit better, and they stayed there all night just watching the smoke in those big wide mirrors and jumping on trampolines until their weak lungs were throwing fits. they built a fort out of gymnastic equipment, right up against the mirrors. they talked, for hours, leo going on about his mom, and eventually his dad when he got high enough. it was good to get it all out. anger, pain, grief. leo was angry, and she let him be. in a red-ice haze, they ended up smashing a few windows and running from the cops into the woods.

   it’s really important to leo because it’s one of the first times that someone did something that was genuinely nice and thoughtful, when someone that he just got high with became a best friend. he felt like he could be himself and really just let it all out, and she encouraged every moment of it. that whole experience was painful as shit, but it was also incredibly therapeutic.

     when that friend passed away a few years later, leo went back late and night and got arrested for breaking in again. he didn’t really care, most of the equipment was gone and it just felt empty and lifeless without anyone else there. it didn’t feel the same. his friends mom took one look at him and dropped the charges.

        ✨: What motivates them? Is it a deep rooted passion/motivation, or is it                something they struggle with from time to time?

Near had so few people with whom he could relate, so it is, in a way, something of a relief to see Matt. 

                    ( Of  course  Near  knows  he   should  be  dead.  Of  course  he                       knows that hasn’t stopped any other old ghosts from dredging                       themselves  up  in  this  city.   The  impermanence  of  this  city                       astounds and frightens him. )

It doesn’t show on his face, of course. Even at the best of times, Near has never been the most emotionally demonstrative. This is not the best of times. Still, it is something of a relief. His mind skips past surprise entirely. Perhaps he’s missing familiarity, not that he’s had much of that since he left the orphanage, but still... the mind is delicate like that.

          ( He and Matt were not friends, because Near has never, as a rule,                    had friends, but he and Matt had ‘ gotten along ’ and sometimes                             that’s good enough. )

Near, with his Damocles-sword of ever-present danger hanging over his head the moment he had chosen to become L properly, looks at Matt, who he has not seen in quite some time, and who had avoided anything like responsibility for as long as Near can remember, and feels a pang of resentment. What an annoying emotion. Still, it is nice to see him, and Near considers saying as much, just for a moment. What he says instead is this:

      “It’s always rare to see you by yourself, Matt.”

                      ( Near had grown up in an orphanage that had gone through genius children                         like -- well. Like other disposable things. It was difficult, apparently, to be                         worthy of succession. Near had lasted. So had Matt. That spoke to some                         aspect of their respective characters. )

He smiles. Near’s smiles have always been carefully-constructed things, employed only when strictly necessary. This one is fairly genuine, however. When he speaks again, it’s without bite. His words are a little hesitant, a little uncertain. He doesn’t know where he stands anymore. He’s not sure he ever knew.

send me a ⭐ for me to share headcanons for my muse. | Accepting!

@jeevastm​ said: “⭐⭐!!! ( love hearing about your cortex hcs let's see 'em!!! )”

     ❝ okay, okay. listen. listen, okay? and you’re not allowed to make fun of me. ❞ leo gave a vague gesture of his arm; he was rambling again, as usual.