I have a thing to get to but had to get this out real quick
EDIT:
okay back from the thing
-it doesn't actually have to be a negative emotion, I have trouble-causing maladaptive responses to positive ones too
-maladaptive responses usually served the purpose of keeping you safe in a tough situation, or were the only response modeled for you, or both, so they're not Inherently Bad they're just not useful in the context of a healthy relationship
-this is a useful thing to keep in mind if you have a bad track record with relationships and therefore come up against a lot of thoughts like "no one likes the real me/my real feelings" and "I am unloveable". it's not your self or your natural feelings that are the issue, it's the way you've learned to behave in response to them (again, because you had to or you don't know any other way!). which sucks, but the good news is you can unlearn those things and practice new behaviors.
