#jay rant

The episode as a whole without this was fine, it's Non Canon so of Course we're gonna see Zack and Terry and Elizabeth and everything's gonna be Odd because of that, that's not my issue... It was Weird to get used to cause yeah we all know them as like. evil fucking people why are you here (Terry is a little more complex I'd say, but still just Odd for him to be here)

But that aside I didn't really have a problem with the episode Until the ending

I knew something like this was going to happen, but I was expecting something similar to the Garroth and Zane scene from The Emerald Secret, or a parallel to that at least where instead Garte Doesn't actually apologize and admit his mistakes like that - which is what I thought was going to happen until the end of it !

Ever since Zane walked out to talk to his father and he looked nervous about it I knew the point of the episode was going to be their relationship, and how strained it was, how neglectful he was to Zane, and for all intents and purposes, it does a great job of showing us this ! Granted Garroth kinda pissing me off the whole episode with blindly going along with his father but I feel like it is On Brand in a sense from him, even if it's played for comedic affect, reading into it a little more it's really all he's known ? to do ? is to just do what his father says, yk ? I try to keep a balance with reading this in universe and also out of universe and it being a show, yk ? But to Zane this is Serious and Real, so I feel like to do him some respect I should also read Garte and Garroth's actions at least in a similar light - again, Garroth isn't really the center point of the episode though, so he's mostly played for laughs, which isn't unusual for him at this point. sigh.

But my point is that all of this is fine, and all of this makes sense for the episode, up until that last scene between Garte and Zane when they're talking. I have never been so genuinely upset with an Aphmau episode in my Life.

I've had biased opinions, dislikes of tropes, laments about how I wish things were handled better, etc. etc. but this has Genuinely Upset Me.

I do not like the fact that not only did Garte admit that he doesn't know Zane, that he Does prefer Garroth, and not even say sorry for any of it, he straight up victim blames Zane for being a victim to his neglect and favoritism !! And then obviously doesn't take his concern seriously as he immediately pokes fun at his insecurity he just opened up about ! And as someone who repeatedly is shown to be a misogynist throughout this entire episode, and obviously gives in to toxic masculinity and the patriarchy and whatnot, of course he would know the "male mindset" of not opening up to anyone and how difficult it can be for men to be open and honest about their feelings and shortcomings - especially to their fathers and other men in their lives they hold with great value

And I would've been fine if Garte Didn't care about this, if he Did show blatant disrespect for Zane in this, if he Did just victim blame him... If it left on a sour note

If that was the point of the interaction

To show that Garte Does Not Care, that he is a Bad Person and an Even Worse Father

But it's not

This entire series has a very bad habit of the parents never being held accountable for their actions because "everyone makes mistakes" but Garte is the worst example of this BY FARRR. this exceeds my disliking of the "and the Lycan family reconnected through the power of christmas magic" episode, AND THIS IS NON CANON !!!!

Zane, very bravely, especially as someone who is NOT KNOWN to go out of his way to speak up about his feelings and vulnerabilities and who is infamous for bottling everything up until it explodes because he's distrusting, goes to the main source of his trauma and straight up asks him if he loves his brother more, because of how neglectful he is towards specifically him - he doesn't treat Laurance like that, he doesn't butt in to anyone else doing work like Derek who he famously is on rocky terms with - or Zack and Terry for that matter ! No, it's specifically his middle child he sidelines constantly, who he is butting in front of, who he's hindering the jobs of

And what does Garte have to say about this ?

Not only is he not drunk enough for an emotional conversation (1. it's an obvious implication don't even argue against that, and 2. again, he's part of the patriarchy, actively feeding into toxic masculinity standards this ENTIRE. EPISODE.) but he also immediately compares him TO GARROTH. IN HIS """APOLOGY"""

There's a whole deep dive I could do into the Ro'Meave family and how unbelievably fucked up it is and the disgusting nature of it but none of y'all are ready for everything I have to say about it. and that's okay. I have time to properly write everything out at some point so you guys can understand my madness. but until then I'll just leave it at I cannot believe Garte is using his son as his emotional support pillar instead of his wife, and blaming his other son for not being that for him

And just the

"That's who you are... according to your mother..."

are you JOKING ?

You can't even acknowledge your son enough to know his basic personality traits and habits and you're acting like it's his fault for not always forgiving your shitty actions like your oldest son does ?

We're joking right, this is a joke ?

And the "so my love is different, because people enjoy being loved... different."

Neglect.

Is not.

Love.

In no way do you slice it is it love in any way.

If I wanna psychoanalyze this, it's what Garte tells himself, that he Does love his son, it just shows differently because he's not Garroth. He's not who he wanted him to be. He's not obedient and all forgiving like Garroth is, he isn't what Garte Wants Him To Be, so he excuses his own shitty behaviors with this - if I had to guess, this is probably something he's told Zianna (Or Garroth with how much he seems to depend on him for validation) before

And justthe whole "maybe You should Speak Up and tell me what You Want"

That's your Son.

It is Literally your Job. To Take Care Of Him.

It is not his job to come to you about feeling neglected. BECAUSE HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE NEGLECTED. You as the father are supposed to be caring enough of your children to Show Up for them, when you don't do that, they grow distant, HENCE the hesitation to call his own father, HENCE the feeling of overshadowing from Garroth, HENCE why he didn't want to talk to him about this in the first place !!! Why it took him so long to speak up about it in the first place !! It is NOT Zane's fault he did not feel SAFE. OR LOVED. enough to be heard by his own family. And NO ONE should be blaming him for that - least of all the man who CAUSED THAT DISJOINTEDNESS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

This conversation should've ended with Garte saying no, that he hates coffee. It would've shown that he never took Zane seriously, that he doesn't care, and that he doesn't want to change his actions because they're benefitting himself - it's what everything else this conversation had been showing !! So why are we just expected to accept the victim blaming and deflection and say you know what, if all's well it ends well. ALL IS NOT FUCKING WELL !!!