#jay clips

[Video Transcript:

Tubbo: ‘Can you not here me?’ Ah fuck, the dyslexic showed

[Tubbo moves behind the ETOILES CAVE Waystone and claims it]

[Aypierre suddenly appears at the Waystone]

[Tubbo’s face morphs into a large expression of shocked horror]

Aypierre: Hey, Sunny!

Aypierre: Hey, Etoiles, ça va ou quoi? [trans: Hey, Etoiles, how’s it going?]

[Tubbo is muted and doesn’t answer, opens up Google Translate]

Aypierre: Ça va, mec? [trans: You good, dude?]

Tubbo: Fuck

[Tubbo types in “microphone broken” and translates it into French]

Aypierre: Allô? [trans: Hello?]

[Tubbo sends “micro cassé” into the general server chat]

Aypierre: ‘Micro cassé?’

[Tubbo laughs, moves around in his chair]

Aypierre: Qu’est-ce que t’as fait, tu lui as donné trop de sucre? [trans: What did you do, did you give it too much sugar?]

Tubbo: FUCK, what does that—

[Tubbo looks up at Aypierre’s translation bubbles]

Tubbo: Oh thank fuck QSMP

[Video Transcript:

(First clip plays.)

Antoine: Look at what’s written in the heart, dude.

Etoiles: Holy shit, it’s you and me, dude!

Antoine: Oh yeah, A + E, dude

(overlapping) Etoiles: Antoine and Etoiles. Dude, holy shiiiit

Etoiles: Hey all that is destiny, dude

Antoine: I’m the one who did it in the hopes of stumbling across it on Geoguessr one day

Etoiles: Fuck, and after all these years you’ve finally realised your objective

Antoine: And yeah, dude….

Etoiles: peepoShy, as we say

(Second clip plays.)

Etoiles: Where are you, Antoine?

Antoine: I’m on— I’m on the blue level of the TDM (Tour de Merde)

Etoiles: Where are you, darling? I’m coming

Antoine: The blue level of the TDM

Florence: No but he’s horny, Rayou, tonight

Bagz: But Rayou— he arrived— he arrived (to the stream) saying, “I’m exhausted’, and he’s really in shape!

Antoine: He just wants to fuck, Rayou, tonight. He wants to fuck so badly tonight

Etoiles: But I said ‘darling’!

(overlapping) Bagz: In ‘Just Fucking’ (as a Twitch stream category)

Etoiles: No but I hate you all, bro

(Third clip plays.)

Antoine: I want to vape but I can’t

Etoiles: Vape my ass, dude

Antoine: Wow, what the fuck? What—

(Fourth clip plays.)

Etoiles: Well I don’t know what my favourite party is, is it the one where we played the capitals game? Or—

Antoine: Or the one where I sucked you off? Oh, no, sorry. No, you were saying? Yeah

Etoiles: That one— that one was crazy

(overlapping) Antoine: Sorry, my bad

(Fifth clip plays.)

Etoiles: Antoine I just looked at the camera, you’re incredibly handsome, dude

Antoine: Really?

Etoiles: Yeah. You have a cool look about you

Zerator: You mean, as opposed to normal?

Etoiles: Yeah, because usually you’re disgusting but here, honestly… I find you very fuckable tonight

Antoine: Well, thanks so much dude

(Sixth clip plays.)

Etoiles: Me, I’ve never cried. The only time I’ve had water on my face is when I’ve showered

Antoine: When I performed a facial on you too, no?

Florence: Oh nooooo. No but I respect it, you guys do what you want

Etoiles: Actually it’s not water it’s sperm

Antoine: In sperm there’s water, dude

(Cuts to a later portion of the same stream.)

Etoiles: Y’know you’re only gross with me, with your other friends you don’t make jokes like that

Antoine: That’s true. I don’t know why I’m like this with you. Maybe I should be asking myself questions, bro. I don’t know!

[Video Transcript:

Jack: Stay away from fucken’— I’m just getting a lot of ‘stay away from’s. Badboyhalo, fucken— Etoiles

Tubbo: Yeah, stay away from Etoiles. Definitely stay away from Kenny.

Jack: I— I don’t even know who Kenny is!

Tubbo: Uhh, I don’t know, he’s one of— one of Etoiles’ mates

Jack: Oh my god (sighs)

Tubbo: If you give yourself a Skeppy skin maybe you can get the psychological warfare advantage

Jack: This is a good strat, this is a good strat, I’m working—

Tubbo: It’s literally all psychological warfare

Jack: —I’m working on a Skeppy, I’m working on a Skeppy skin as we speak

Tubbo: Yeah. Basically all of the French streamers are kind of— crazy good

Jack: Someone should— right, I’ve got an idea Tubbo, but it might be illegal

Tubbo: What?

Jack: We need to cut off the grid in France

Tubbo: (laughs) Noooo!

Jack: It’s the only way

Tubbo: Noooo, leave Etoiles alone! Leave him alone!

Jack: If we go to France and we— what we’re gonna do, I need a shovel and a dream

Tubbo: Leave him alone!

Jack: Oh, and a plane ticket to France, and what I’m gonna do is go, and I’m gonna go, ‘Yes!’, I’m gonna have a high-vis jacket, and I’m gonna go, ‘Yes, I’m a maintenance worker!’ And then I’m gonna start digging and (drrrt noise) oops! Shovel through the fibre optic cable!

Tubbo: Leave Etoiles alone, leave him alone!

Tubbo: Well Etoiles shouldn’t be a threat to me then

Tubbo: Leave him alone!

Tubbo: He would still find a way and probably get the train to the UK

Jack: My guys will be there to apprehend him

Tubbo: Your guys? Oh, from Manifold Legal

Jack: You know of my guys

Tubbo: You mean Manifold Legal, right?

Jack: Oh yeah, they be there and they go, ‘Mmm, is this legal?’

[Video Transcript:

[First clip plays.]

Rivenzi: You want to see Etoiles’ ass, of course…

Antoine: Yeah, I’m gonna stare at your ass, Etoiles…

Etoiles: Fuck, what dread, during Popcorn [a talkshow Etoiles had been invited on the previous week], when I went up to the map and you said that, and I thought ‘whoa—‘

Antoine: Sorry

[Second clip plays: the moment during Popcorn]

PA/Domingo: Antoine Daniel has posted a tweet for us: ‘I wanted to look at this map of Africa, but Etoiles’ ass in the shape of a standing bell is driving me crazy. Smiley face with eyes in the shape of hearts.’

[Third clip plays: a continuation of the first clip.]

Antoine: Sorry, bro…

Ponce: Oh but that tweet, besides

Rivenzi: A standing bell…

Antoine: What’s more is that I never tweet and when I do it’s to tweet this sort of shit

Ponce: That’s exactly what I told myself. When PA read the tweet, I thought to myself, ‘but he never tweets!’ And he tweets to talk about Etoiles’ ass

Antoine: There needs to be a good reason, you see

[Fourth clip plays: a clip from the Team du Lundi’s minecraft server.]

JDG: Someone (in chat) said, ‘I can’t tell whether the atmosphere is good tonight or—‘

Antoine: It sucks, it sucks

Florence: You don’t need to ask every time, it always sucks

Baghera: Always sucks. Especially when Etoiles talks about ass [which had been a previous topic of discussion for him that night]

Antoine: Stooop, I enjoy it

Mynthos: You enjoy it?

JDG: It’s true tonight that it’s more weird than bad

Antoine: I like it when Etoiles talks about ass….

[Fifth clip plays: a second and different clip from Popcorn.]

Etoiles: —you’re not allowed to tell me that [Xari claimed to not know much about cinema]. I know you, I studied, because you’re my rival [in pop culture]. I really enjoy what you do in life, Xari, and you’re really knowledgeable about cinema

Antoine: What do you mean he’s your rival? And I’m just shit?

Etoiles: You, you’re my lover

Antoine: Oh yeah, sorry, my bad

PA/Domingo: One of the three is gonna die soon. There’s a whole situation, there’s a whole lore

[Sixth clip plays: a clip from the QSMP.]

Antoine: Don’t you want to get married, dude?

Etoiles: Well, I don’t have the time to fuck

Antoine: What the fuck?!

Etoiles: I don’t have time to fuck, dude. I just need to kill everyone

Antoine: No but just a marriage, you see. You’ve watched Game of Thrones— you haven’t watched Game of Thrones, you can’t know how marriages work in that series

Etoiles: I’ve watched it, but I’m married to the street, dude. I can’t give out my heart that quickly

Antoine: Yeah but you can give out your ass quickly, no?

Etoiles: No, frankly, my ass—

Antoine: What the fuck?!

Etoiles: Giving out your ass takes time, dude

Antoine: What the fuck…

Etoiles: Then again, I need to think about it. I’ll give you my answer. I need to discuss, and everything

Antoine: I’m tired of getting betrayed. You get married with someone else—

Etoiles: Never in a million years!

Antoine: —it’s like yesterday. Apparently Maximus got the mic from his ass removed while I wasn’t there. I was supposed to be the one to do it

Etoiles: Oh okay, so I’m your second choice?

[Overlapping]

Antoine: No! It was just to help him—

Etoiles: No, but, okay

Antoine: He got— listen—

Etoiles: There’s no problem!

Antoine: Fuck, nevermind

Etoiles: There’s no issue! Oh, so you’re opening my chest and stealing?

Antoine: I was just looking! Out of curiosity

Etoiles: Yeah, that’s it

Antoine: I don’t even understand what’s in it

Etoiles: Yeah, out of curiosity. Dude, your opinion on my cave?

Antoine: Well frankly it’s big

[Video transcript:

[ENG] Etoiles: I— I’m speedrunning it [Mario Party], but it’s like—

[FR] Etoiles: The next person to bust my balls by saying, ‘he’s going to miss the Ascension [French competitive event happening this Saturday 28/10]’ even though my plane is at six PM, you bunch of morons, it’s not because ZeratoR [Ascension event organiser] said once that I’d miss my plane that I will miss my plane, because what you guys don’t understand is that a plane doesn’t get missed if you arrive three hours in advance, and the last time I missed the plane was because my corresponding flight was one hour and a half [late]!

[ENG] Etoiles: I was just saying to my chat that I love them :)

Tina: Awhhh

Foolish: See, once again I have a feeling maybe that wasn’t—

[Video Transcript:

[First clip begins]

Etoiles: I’m— I’m gonna go on QSMP, I think

ZeratoR: (laughs) This really made him want to play Minecraft

Baghera: Ohh, lucky, I miss it

Etoiles: But— you still can’t come back?

Antoine: Well, technically, she could come back, but I don’t think it’s as simple as that

Baghera: (pained) Not as simple as that….

ZeratoR: What are you waiting for?

Etoiles: It’s Lost, it’s Lost

Antoine: Well, her character is dead in game

ZeratoR: Ahhh… but isn’t there a way to— to— a gimmick?

Antoine: No but don’t worry, there’ll probably be a gimmick (laughs) there’ll probably be a gimmick, don’t worry

Baghera: Don’t worry, don’t worry—

Antoine: No, she’s banned from the server! She’s banned from the server, it’s over

ZeratoR: Sucks! How did you die?

Antoine: Nuclear explosion

Baghera: Nuclear— yeah, nuclear explosion

ZeratoR: Ah yeah indeed you’re dead

Etoiles: That should have technically killed everyone—

Antoine: I hadn’t been there for a long time!

Etoiles: Well, I wasn’t there either— oh, well, you (laughs) you—

Antoine: I was elsewhere, I was elsewhere, dude

Etoiles: What a fraud you are (laughs)

ZeratoR: Where were you?

Antoine: I was elsewhere— somewhere else, I can’t say, it’s my lore, dude (laughs)

Etoiles: It’s his lore!

Antoine: I can’t say, dude, it’s my lore, dude

Étoiles: Antoine’s lore—

Baghera: Oh wow, you played around with that? Damn, I didn’t even see

ZeratoR: Basically he was glued to the bomb but well played to him

Etoiles: The lore in question (laughs)

Antoine: The lore in question, dude, it’s mad

Baghera: Take of yourselves guys! This was so cool

[Everyone says goodbye]

[Baghera leaves the call]

ZeratoR: Basically he was glued to the bomb but he found a gimmick

Antoine: Yeahhhh

Etoiles: The lore in question, just being the goat

Antoine: Yeah but the problem is that it’s my lore in every game, dude

Etoiles: (laughs) Oh but it’s really that. Antoine’s lore is being the goat

[Second clip begins]

Etoiles: Something that makes me laugh a bit is the fact that because there’s so many open plotlines it leads to fan theories that are sometimes really fun. There was a moment when my character’s skin, well, it was made for me with white eyes. And well I used it because I found it cool. And, actually, when I put it on, I read 65 tweets from people going, ‘hey, did you know that Etoiles’ character is blind because he actually lost his eyesight because he was—‘

Antoine: But you know on this server, the moment you say any sentence it gets overinterpreted in every way

Etoiles: It’s so funny—

Antoine: What’s wild is that there’s a billion theories on things, and for my part there are people that have understood some stuff about the theory and everything, which I find rather fun

Etoiles: Well it’s— you can’t reproach them because—

Antoine: Oh no precisely, I don’t want to reproach them, on the contrary I find it so cool!

Etoiles: Yeah but it’s funny the extent to which they get in their heads about it— like, you say one sentence on the server and you read a whole text of 65–

Antoine: Yeah, yeah it’s that

Etoiles: It’s really so funny

Angle Droit/Florence: Hmm, he said he was hungry at this given time, it’s surely a coded message

Etoiles: It’s really that!

Antoine: No but really, it’s really that, you know

Etoiles: But you know it’s honestly that, Florence

Antoine: You say a little sentence that’s supposed to be a joke and it’ll be interpreted seriously because ‘there’s this, and this, and that’, you see. But the thing is, it’s often completely wrong, but sometimes it’s correct. So they have every reason to continue theorising, honestly, I find. I think they have every reason to continue theorising, it’s very interesting

Etoiles: You’re just correct the goat, dude

[Third clip begins]

Etoiles: Basically I can say it because it’s out of roleplay and I think Antoine already knows it, because sometimes people are like, ‘yeah you can’t spoil the other streamers!’ but the streamers see everything—

Antoine: I know everything that happens on QSMP

Etoiles: —it’s just that the streamers don’t use the info rp wise. Basically I’m apart of an organisation on the server—

Antoine: What, you’re kidding, dude?!

[The others laugh]

ZeratoR: What the fuck?!

Antoine: I’m not supposed to know that, dude!

Etoiles: Basically I’m apart of an organisation that’s called the Resistance—

Antoine: (scoffs)

Etoiles: —and it’s completely hidden within the server, no one knows about it in the roleplay

ZeratoR: Even I knew about it, so

Etoiles: Yeah, well there you go. And therefore I have a hidden team that allows me to go into buildings, kill Federation agents that take care of the Island, and—

Antoine: But why would you want to kill Federation agents, dude?

Etoiles: Well because they’re not very nice, dude

ZeratoR: (laughs) Oh the lore is incredible. Well, it’s not nice to be mean, but…

Etoiles: The thing that’s funny—

Antoine: They’re not mean…

Etoiles: —is that I see messages from people on Twitter reacting like, ‘well I think it’s insane that Etoiles is killing Federation agents,’ when I don’t want to kill them. I never want to kill them. When I kill them, it’s because I’m forced to. And the last time, I didn’t want to kill them—

Antoine: That’s a really war criminal-esque phrase, that

ZeratoR: Clearly

Etoiles: No but bro, bro, it’s the admins themselves that told me, ‘return to the base, let’s fight,’ that’s what they said, bro, so I was like, ‘well, okay’ (laughs)

Antoine: Well that…

Etoiles: It was fun, honestly. And so when I saw all the messages on Twitter like, ‘Etoiles’ character has totally lost his mind,’ I was like, well—

Antoine: What, you don’t like white teddy bears, dude? Honestly, they’re so cool

Etoiles: Then again, white teddy bears aren’t really nice, dude

Antoine: Dude they are simply what I’d call the goat, honestly. They’re what I call the goat, personally, white teddy bears are called the goat

All spoken in French — translated into English subtitles

[Video transcript:

Etoiles: And, actually, I have a theory. Basically what happened is that I’ve just returned from a mission from Cucurucho.

Antoine: And what was the mission?

Etoiles: To do a dungeon, and to recover something from the dungeon.

Antoine: And what was this “something”?

Etoiles: And the “something” was a book that sorta says that I’m a test subject.

Antoine: A test subject?!

Baghera: What’s up with your arm? You’ve got a coded arm.

Etoiles: Uh, it’s from holding the shield, basically.

Baghera: Ahhh

(Pause)

Antoine: Watch out that it doesn’t contaminate you, or else you’ll turn into a code, man.

Etoiles: That’s impossible, man, I can’t be a code.

Antoine: That’s what the old codes said before becoming codes, you know.

Etoiles: No— well, we’ve never spoken.

Baghera: Maybe you shouldn’t be using the shield as much then, no?

Etoiles: Well, as it stands, I’ve been using it for a really long time, and my mind is still healthy, honestly. And the proof is—

Baghera: Well, half of his face took the brunt of it instead.

Etoiles: Yeah, but it’s not all there is, you know.

(Pause)

Baghera: Let me worry, Etoiles, right now.

Etoiles: You’re right. You’re right! But everything’s going well, I’m doing very, very well—

Antoine: It’s true that you look a bit sick.

Etoiles: Uh, yeah, for the past seven years, it’s a chronic illness, it happened—

Antoine: No, but not this one, the other— you seem even sicker, still.

Etoiles: Yeah, okay. Yeah but no, I’m fine. No, no, it’s fine, honestly.

Kenny: It is love we need

Etoiles: Yeah we need love, too

Soarinng: Okay we follow you, we follow you

Shubble: Oh

Kenny: Helloooo

Soarinng: Hiii

Etoiles: Hellooo

Shubble: Is that our team—?

Etoiles: (laughs) No, it’s not—

Soarinng: (picks daisy)

Kenny: No, it’s not

Soarinng: Okay, Kenny, Kenny

Kenny: It’s me, it’s me

Soarinng: Take, take for you (gives Kenny the daisy)

Kenny: (gasps)

Soarinng: (kisses him on the cheek with a ‘Mwah’ sound)

Kenny: Thank you!

Etoiles: (laughs) Mwah

Mynthos: Ah, c’est de la merde. Je peux plus courir déjà [trans: Ah, this is shitty. I already can’t run anymore]

Etoiles: T’inquiètes, bro, c’est— le début c’est, c’est chiant— [trans: Don’t worry, bro, the beginning is annoying—]

Soarinng: No güey, una cruz, mira [trans: No way, a cross, look]

Etoiles: —et après, dès qu’on va trouver des mobs et tout ça va être beaucoup plus facile [trans: —but after, once we find some mobs and everything it’ll be much easier]

Soarinng: Qué sexi suena hablando de francés [de tipo] [trans: How sexy he sounds speaking French]

Etoiles: (laughs) Sexy francés?

Soarinng: No, no, no— (laughs) me entendió, me entendió [trans: He understood me, he understood me]

Etoiles: Sexy francés, okayyyy

Soarinng: (laughs) Sorry, sorry