#jatse

nirmala 🌺 the jamu-maker

kubaringkan panah 🏹

based on nadin amizah's lyrics that translated to "war has ended, war has ended, i can go home; i lay down my bow and shouted "victory!""

malam arum 🌙🌺

"She sewed flowers into her hair: moon orchids, tuberoses, canangas, and the droopings of chained jasmines. Her sister fetched her then; Nadila crowned with orange and pink lilies, dotted yellow with mustard flowers, the jagged crops of her bangs matched their vibrancy."

two knights facing the horrors 😔✌ pray for their sanity (and their lack of sleep,,,)

left is jusuf, right is baran — x

jusuf and the sun-eater wip — 26/08/2025

current wordcount: 45,580 words

notes: i've been writing a lot and i want to keep records of my small victories—like whenever i finish a small arc, or navigated through a difficult politicking section in the novel. so i decided i'm gonna make this sort of journal style post. i did this twice on my instastory before, but i really hate opening insta, so i'll mostly do it here and post on instastory whenever i feel like it.

life's been awful. i keep reminding myself that i can't stop creating because i must resist the temptation to give into hopelessness. i write whenever i have the spare time. i like writing in cafés while people-watching. and the clacking of keyboard is so satisfying. currently i'm tackling really difficult topics in my novel. i had a lot of fun trying to emulate jusuf's immense discomfort and suspicion during the entire scene using allegories.

i write jusuf mainly to encapsulate and immortalise the feeling of being in constant danger. originally, i wrote him as a carrier to the generational trauma of my family being first account survivors of an ethnic massacre. i think i write him at the right time—because now he is my projection for the looming threat i feel everyday that history will repeat itself. i know i shared jusuf as a mlm king x knight, but truthfully this story has always been about the Horrors—and war. afterall, what better way to describe the horrors of war than through a fantasy organised militia (knights)?

song: swan upon leda - hozier