Your relationship with Owen hadn’t always been so complicated. In fact, it used to be the best one you had ever experienced. When you landed a recurring role in season two of Julie and the Phantoms, you had immediately hit it off with the blonde drummer. There was a connection that you shared that everyone around you could see, and it surprised no one when you confessed your feelings for one another just a couple of months after meeting. Three years and three seasons of the show later, you had been sure that you had found The One.

And then, things managed to fall apart.

It wasn’t like anything dramatic had happened, and when you looked back on it, you weren’t even sure what had spurred the reaction. Just, one day, Owen said that he needed some time apart, and for some reason, you had agreed. You didn’t really want to break up, but you were still fairly confident that he was your person and you truly believed that he would make his way back to you. You were both young and it could be overwhelming when you felt so much for someone so early in life. You never doubted your feelings for him, however, and you thought the feeling was mutual… until you learned about her.

Charlie swore that he had nothing to do with it when he told you, but you also knew that it was one of his friends. You didn’t blame him, of course, but that also didn’t stop the hole that had formed in your chest over how beautiful she was. Just knowing how good her and Owen were going to look side-by-side made you feel even worse. She was the reason why you had decided to go all out in hopes of grabbing someone’s attention, most of all, Owen’s. It was dumb and childish, but you were sure that it was the only way to make you feel better.

Savannah didn’t bother you about your questionable plan again, however, by the time you were both ready to leave, you had started to lose confidence in yourself. You didn’t say anything to your friend though as you still continued to laugh and chat about the night ahead, carefully avoiding the topic of the boy that you were hoping to win back. And while you were on your way to Tori’s apartment with Savannah, Owen was having nerves of his own while getting ready in the apartment him and Charlie shared.

“Do you think this is going to work?” Owen asked his friend as he ran his fingers through his golden locks anxiously. Charlie gave him a look from where he was sitting on the couch. He had been ready for a while now, but he was still waiting on his friend to show up and for Owen to make up his mind. 

“Do I think that you taking another girl to this party is going to help you get back together with a girl that you never should have broken up with in the first place? No. Absolutely not.”

Owen sighed as he leaned against the arm of the chair he was standing next to. He had thought about cancelling with Jamie for a few days now, but he couldn’t get himself to do it. He knew she was excited to go, and while he also knew that you were aware, and probably hurt by the knowledge, of his date, he had made a promise. A stupid, selfish promise, but a promise all the same. 

He knew Charlie hated the whole thing, as he had told him multiple times, but when there was a knock at their door, they both knew that it was Jamie and there was no turning back now. As Owen started towards to the door to answer it, Charlie called his name and Owen looked back over his shoulder at the brunette on the couch. 

“You better figure out a way to deal with this without hurting anyone any further. I’m serious, Owen.” It wasn’t often that Charlie got that look on his face, and Owen slowly nodded in understanding. He just wasn’t sure how he was going to manage pulling that off.

When he pulled open the door, Owen was greeted with a big smile from the brunette on the other side. He did his best to smile back, but now that all of this was really happening, he was more nervous than ever.

“Owen, you look great!” Jamie cooed as she stepped in through the door and pulled him into a hug. Owen quickly hugged her back and his eyes met Charlie’s over her shoulder. The stern look was still on his face and Owen swallowed roughly.

“Thanks, so do you.” 

It was going to be a rough night, and really, he had no one to blame but himself.

x.x.x

Your eyes couldn’t help but search the room for his face as soon as you stepped into Tori’s apartment, but it quickly became clear that Owen was nowhere to be found.

“He’s on his way. Charlie just texted me,” Madison informed you when she saw the dejected look on your face. You felt silly that you were being so obvious about it, but you did your best to brush it off. 

“Good for him. I think I’m going to go mingle a bit. See you later, Mads.” You didn’t look to see if Madison rolled her eyes like Savannah had earlier in the night before starting to make your rounds. You wanted to make sure you were having a good time when Owen finally did arrive.

There was a good mix of new and familiar faces, so you had plenty of conversation partners to choose from. You wished you could say you were so wrapped up in conversation that you didn’t notice when Owen walked through the door about half an hour later, but you always had a sixth sense when it came to him. You did try to ignore it though, as you moved a little closer to the cute new boy you had started talking to. You couldn’t quite remember his name at the moment, but that was a problem for another time.

You could hear his voice no matter where he was in the room, and while you tried to ignore it, you could tell that it was getting closer and you were having to fight every instinct you had not to look over at him. The only thing that helped you maintain your composure was the fact that every time Owen would speak, it was soon followed by a higher, more feminine voice that you were sure belonged to his date. The last thing you wanted while you were trying to work the room in a positive way was to be struck with the heartbreak you were sure to feel by seeing them together.

“YN, there you are!” Charlie called excitedly, pulling you out of your conversation with William? Or was this one David? Either way, you forced a smile onto your face as you turned to face your friend and cast mate.

“I’ve been standing in the same place all night, Charles, I can’t help it you’re oblivious,” you teased as he pulled you in for a hug, and a part of you wished that he would have remained oblivious for a little bit longer. You could tell that William, David, or whatever the cute boy’s name was, was about to ask you to dance. It would have been the perfect opening for you to try and make Owen jealous. 

When Charlie hugged you, you glanced over his shoulder to see that Owen was standing not too far away, and while he probably should have been paying attention to the conversation that was happening around him, you were surprised to see that his gaze was fixed on you. He had a drink in his hand that was going ignored, and while his date was excitedly chatting with Madison and Jadah, he seemed to be ignoring them as well.

Slowly, you pulled out of Charlie’s arms, and with one glance in the direction you were previously looking, he immediately knew what was going on. You saw his shoulders deflate a bit out of the corner of your eye as he looked at his friend and then back to you.

“You two need to talk,” he stated, and you could hear the exasperation in his voice. It was similar to how Savannah had sounded earlier in the night, and you quickly turned so that your back was now to the blonde, and you gestured towards the boy that you had been talking to before Charlie walked over.

“Well, I was kind of in the middle of a conversation when you came over so… maybe later.” You weren’t being very mature about the situation at all, and while it looked like Charlie wanted to say so, he threw up his hands in surrender and then walked away. You didn’t mean to come off so harsh, but Owen had been the one to mess everything up, so reasonably or unreasonably, you thought that he should be the one to come fix it.

Another hour or so passed, and neither you nor Owen approached one another, instead opting for a delicate dance around each other, pretending that the other wasn’t there except to occasionally share a few glances. You were trying to keep your spirits up, but anyone you would hear his date’s voice, or you would notice that Owen was laughing at something she said, you could feel your heart break more and more. Your hopes in making him jealous were fading, and you were starting to truly realize what a stupid venture it had been in the first place.

Eventually, you broke away from the third cute boy conversation of the night to head to the bathroom. You needed a moment to yourself as you could feel your emotions starting to get the better of you, and you just needed to take a breath somewhere where you wouldn’t hear Owen’s, or his date’s, voice. 

Once you made it to the bathroom, you closed and locked the door before turning to face the mirror as your hands gripped the edge of the countertop tightly. You took one, two, three deep breaths but the pain in your chest wasn’t subsiding. You took a good long look at yourself, and you wondered why you had been silly enough to think that, if Owen had broken up with you, he would suddenly want you back just because you put effort into how you looked for this one party. Your relationship had always been deeper than that, and that translated to your breakup as well. The breakup that you still didn’t understand. The breakup that you had never wanted to happen.

You didn’t know that, while you were having your breakdown in the bathroom, Owen was slowly falling apart in the middle of a room filled with people. He had been trying so hard to keep his cool all evening. However, from the moment he saw you when he stepped through the door, he knew this was all a horrible mistake. He should have cancelled with Jamie. Maybe he should have stayed home and not come to the party at all. He was overwhelmed with feelings and he didn’t know how to express them in a way that anyone else would understand. This heartache was all his fault, and it was something that he could have prevented entirely if he hadn’t been just so stupid. 

“You should go talk to her,” Jamie murmured into his ear just a few seconds after you had disappeared down the hall. The words took him by surprise as he looked over at the girl that had come here as his date. “Whatever is going on between you two… I think it deserves a conversation.” Owen’s brow furrowed as he tried to piece together what was happening. 

“I- I really don’t-“ he started, but Jamie stopped him with a small smile and a shake of her head.

“I think you do. I’ve seen the way you’ve been watching her all night – I mean, I would have to be blind not to – and I’ve also seen the longing looks she’s thrown your way as well. She’s been silently begging for you to say something, and believe me, I get it. I’ve been in a few complicated relationships before but… it doesn’t have to be complicated if you don’t want it to be. Just go talk to her.”

The guilt must have been evident on Owen’s face at her words because Jamie reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder as she gave him a genuine smile. 

“It’s okay, I’m not mad. I could tell from the beginning that your heart was somewhere else. But you’re a good friend, Owen. I promise, there are no hard feelings.”

For a moment, Owen genuinely didn’t know what to say, but Jamie gave him a gentle shove towards the hall where you had just disappeared, urging him to do as she said. This time, he didn’t need her to say anything more. The bathroom door was the only one that was shut when Owen investigated the hall to try and find you, so he took a deep breath as he walked over to it before lifting his hand to knock. 

Even though it was soft, you jumped at the sound and you quickly wiped at your eyes where tears had started to form, hoping to brush them away.

“I’ll be right out!” you called to the person on the other side, and you took one last deep breath before pulling the door open. You froze in the doorway when you came face-to-face with Owen, but it was clear from the look on his face that he wasn’t at all surprised to see you. “Oh, Owen.”

He looked nervous as his blue eyes studied you, and you could feel your heart pound hard in your chest at how close you were to one another. This was the first time you had actually said a word to him in a while, and even though he still hadn’t said a word back, you were sure now that he had sought you out on purpose.

“Can we talk?” he asked, confirming your previous thoughts. You nodded slowly, and he stepped to the side so that you could move into the hallway and then follow him farther down until you came to the doorway of the guest bedroom. He motioned for you to step inside, so that you could have some privacy you assumed, and you did just that as he closed the door behind you.

“Where’s your date?” you asked, your voice hard as the question left your lips. You had no idea what Owen’s intentions had been getting you alone, but the devastation from the entire situation was still sitting heavy in your chest, and it was hard to ignore.

“She’s, uh, she’s not really my date,” he replied, clearing his throat as he spoke. You could still hear the nervousness in his tone, and when you turned to face him again, he was rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, at least not anymore.”

Even more confusion washed over you as you stared at him, and he took a daring step closer to you.

“And why not? Did you decide you don’t have feelings for her too?” The words that were flowing from your lips now were completely fueled by the hurt that you had been harvesting over the past month, and while Owen flinched a bit at your tone, he didn’t get angry.

“That’s not- YN, that’s not why I ended things, and I hope you know that,” he murmured, his hand falling to his side as you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“I don’t know that. Honestly, Owen, I don’t even know what to believe at this point. I used to be… I used to be so sure that you were the one person I would always understand, and yet now, I feel like I barely even know who you are.” The tears had started to form behind your eyes again, and your voice got caught in your throat as you started to get choked up. Owen’s face fell at your words and you could tell they were affecting him too. Good, you thought. He needs to know.

After taking a deep breath, Owen began speaking again.

“When I told you that I needed space, it wasn’t… it was never because my feelings for you changed. At least, they didn’t change in the way you thought they did. They didn’t go away, and they didn’t get smaller… they got bigger. My feelings for you grew every single day for three years, and I thought that eventually I would reach the peak of them, but no. The things I felt, and still feel, for you were expanding like an ever-growing universe and it scared me. It scared the hell out of me because I’m only 20 years old, YN. This… this is adult, real-life stuff and I didn’t think that I was ready for that yet.”

A range of emotions washed over you as you took in his words, and you barely noticed how he moved closer to you as he spoke. It wasn’t until you could practically feel his breath fan across your face and his hand brushed against yours that you realized he was right in front of you. If you were to reach out, even an inch, you could feel him. All it would have taken was one small motion to confirm to yourself that this was all real. There was a short moment of silence that fell between you, and when he realized that you weren’t going to speak up, he continued.

“But the truth is, nothing has felt right since the day we broke up. I didn’t think I was ready for us, but really, I’ll never be ready for a world where there is no us. Seeing you here tonight and thinking that you were dressed up for someone else, and just knowing that you thought I was trying to replace you with someone else, I just…” He hesitated for a moment as he tried to think of the proper words to conclude with. “You don’t have to forgive me, because I would understand if you didn’t. But I need you to know that I love you, I have always loved you, and I will continue to love you whether we’re together or not.”

A tear slipped down your cheek as soon as he finished, and his lips turned up in a sad smile as his hand lifted quickly to wipe it away. It was an action that he couldn’t help himself from performing, and as soon as his fingers made contact with your skin, you leaned into his touch without hesitation. Even after the tear was gone, Owen’s thumb still brushed against your cheek as he seemed to be taking you in.

“I’m so sorry for putting you through this,” he added, his voice barely above a whisper. “I think I’ll always be sorry.”

You couldn’t take it anymore as you felt the full wave of relief and pure love fill you from his confession, and you leaned up onto your tiptoes so that you could close the distance between you as your lips crashed against his. Kissing Owen felt like coming home, and his reaction was immediate as he cupped your cheek with his hand and his other hand came around to rest against your lower back, pulling you closer. You probably should have apologized for how you had been acting as well, but you knew that you could do it later. Right now, you needed this, and it was clear that Owen did too.

“I love you too, Owen,” you mumbled against his lips when you pulled away a few seconds later. “Always have, always will.” Then, you were kissing him again, and all the sorrow from the evening, and the last month, was slowly lifted from your shoulders and you felt like you could breathe again.

As Rose pulled into her driveway, Luke thanked her for the ride.

"Where do you think you're going, mijo?"

"H-home?" Luke asked uncertainly, his hand on the door handle.

"Your parents are out of town for the weekend."

"Yeah," Luke nodded, "I was gonna stay over at Bobby's but I don't wanna make him sick--"

"Well, Julie's already sick anyway. You can stay with us and when you're feeling better, you can go over to Bobby's."

"But--"

"Mijo, I'm not asking," Rose said, staring at Luke in the rearview mirror, daring him to get out of the car.

Julie snickered at the fear in his eyes as he settled back into the seat and waited until Rose had pulled further up towards the house before attempting to get out again.

"Why don't you two go get comfortable on in the living room, hm? I'll put some food up for you and it'll be ready before you even know it."

Julie yawned as she trudged past Rose and into the house. "Can we sleep instead?"

"Absolutely. Go get some rest, okay? Luke, if you're tired, you can sleep in Carlos' room. He's spending the week with Victoria so it's all yours if you need, okay?"

"Thank you," Luke managed before a yawn interrupted him.

Rose ruffled Julie's hair first, then Luke's. Now, what could she feed them that they'd manage to keep down?

"Sorry I made you sick," Luke mumbled.

Julie shrugged. "It's okay. Flynn said she was gonna drag me on the biggest rollercoaster first so in a way, I'm kinda glad we won't be going tomorrow."

Luke rolled his eyes. "You do this everytime we go. Just get on the rollercoaster. It's not that much bigger than the one we went on last time."

Julie stared at Luke over her bowl of soup. "I passed out."

Luke shrugged. "It makes for a good story!"

"For you!"

"Don't yell, Julie, you don't have the lung capacity."

Julie scrunched up her nose and mocked Luke in a high voice. "You don't have the lunch capacity."

"Oh, real mature."

Julie blew a raspberry at Luke. A raspberry that turned into a cough. Luke was out of his blanket in a second.

"Julie?" Rose called from the kitchen. "You good, baby?"

"I got it!" Luke called back. He knelt in front of Julie as she hunched over and rubbed her back in small circles. "Easy, Jules," he murmured.

"I hate being sick," Julie said for the umpteenth time, resting her chin on Luke's shoulder.

Luke froze, one hand on Julie's arm, the other on her back. What was he supposed to do now? Just . . . hold her?

"I know," he said soothingly, "you'll get better quickly, don't worry."

"Ugh, I hope so." Slowly, Julie pulled away and eased back into the couch.

Luke pouted, only because he wanted to stay holding Julie in a gentle and comfortable embrace. He scrunched his nose up and quickly shook his head. What the hell was that all about?

He was back in his corner of the couch, under his blanket, when Rose arrived with a glass of water for each of them.

"I'm going to get dinner running and when I come back to check on you two, those glasses better be empty."

"Yes, mom," they chorused.

It wasn't really a big thing. Luke called her 'mom' often. Julie even called Emily 'mom' if she happened to be over at Luke's. But that didn't take away from Rose's (or Emily's) absolute delight over being called mom by her honorary child.

"Sorry I made fun of you when you first got sick," Julie mumbled.

"It's okay," Luke said with a slight laugh, half paying attention to Julie and half paying attention to the TV. They'd taken a good nap and were already feeling better. "Karma got you, I guess."

"I guess."

"You got it bad, though," Luke said, glancing at Julie. "I never coughed like that."

"Exhibit A of why I utterly detest being sick. The headache is unbearable sometimes." Julie gave Luke a small smile. "But it's okay. I should already be feeling better by tomorrow."

Julie turned her gaze back to the TV. Luke didn't. He kept his gaze on Julie, watching her carefully. He'd always had the natural inclination to want to care for Julie, but until then it had always been small things. Wanting to make sure her cuts and scrapes got a band-aid. Wanting to check in with a simple text when she was sick. Wanting to be sure her work was up to date when she missed out.

But now . . . now it was a little different. It wasn't really strange, but he couldn't quite understand it. Why, when she complained about her headache, did he want to pull her close and try to distract her from it? Why, when she hunched over coughing, did he want to be by her side, holding her close and trying to ease the fit? Why, when she paid him no attention, did he want to just sit there and watch her?

Julie glanced back and Luke froze like a deer in headlights, his already pink cheeks growing redder. Julie grinned. "Is that the fever or are you shy about something?"

"Definitely the fever," Luke said quickly.

"Uh huh," Julie said with a grin, turning back to the TV again. "I think you're pretty cute too."

Luke shrank into his blanket. "I didn't say that."

"Your face said enough, Patterson."

"You really think I'm cute?"

Julie looked at Luke, who had the blanket wrapped over his head as he pouted at her. His flushed cheeks had calmed to the usual pink whenever he was running a fever. She couldn't help but smile. "The cutest."

He beamed. "I think you're pretty cute too. Wait, that's what you said--"

"Cute," Julie mumbled under her breath, shaking her head and turning back to the TV. She was surprised by Luke suddenly dropping his head in her lap. She grinned, amused. "Hi, there."

"Hi. I want attention."

"Well, mom said she was just gonna make sure Carlos' room is clean enough for you to walk without getting impaled by a Lego brick but I'm sure she'd be happy to listen to your gibberish when she's all done."

"I want your attention."

"And I wanna watch the season finale."

Luke turned over to glance at the TV. "You've seen this episode at least six times. I know because five of them were at my house and youd already seen it once before that."

Julie flicked Luke's nose lightly. "It's my favourite, leave me be."

"Fine, but I'm staying here."

"Okay, just be quiet."

Luke felt like he had left the land of the living when he felt Julie's fingers in his hair. She had absolutely no idea what she was doing and somehow, the fact that she was playing with his hair on autopilot made him giddy.

"Can you put this on the table for me, please?" Julie asked absently, resting her empty glass on Luke's shoulder.

He did as she asked, just managing to reach the coffee table.

"Thank you."

Bored but unwilling to move, Luke began to pick at the threads on Julie's bracelets. She rested her hand on his chest, knowing he'd start whining if she took the bracelets away.

"Who made this one for you?"

Julie glanced at her arm to see Luke playing with a blue string, her name strung on in letter beads, a star bead on either side. "You did."

"Really?"

"I think we were about eight or nine. That was when Flynn got her bracelet set and we spent so many lunches making bracelets. You got jealous because I kept wearing Flynn's bracelets so you made one for me yourself."

"Huh," Luke said, "I don't remember, though."

"Not surprising. You were running a fever then, too. A pretty high one. Your mom gave you cough syrup and you got a burst of creative inspiration. Haven't you heard her tell the story? It's one of her favourites."

"I hear the words 'when Luke was little' and I instantly tune it out."

Julie laughed. "Sounds about right."

Luke watched the smile linger on Julie's face as she watched the episode she knew by heart. God, she was so pretty.

Luke scrunched his nose up again. Yeah, Julie was pretty and yeah, he'd always known that. But in the way he knew Flynn was beautiful and Carrie was stunning. In the way he knew Reggie was adorable and Bobby was cute and Alex was a gorgeous. In the way he knew Willie was magnificent. It was just something he'd always known. He and his friends were hot as hell and that was just a fact that they all seemed to know.

But laying with his head in Julie's lap, watching her unconsciously smile at his own antics, it seemed like a brand new thought. How could someone he'd known his whole life suddenly look different?

"Julie."

"Hm?" Julie didn't look away from the TV.

"You're really pretty."

"Thank you," she said, smiling wider. She lightly tugged a lock of his hair. "You're pretty, too."

"No, I mean, like, really pretty. Like . . . ultra pretty."

Julie scowled at Luke. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! I just . . . I just really like your smile. It's so. . ."

"Pretty?"

Luke nodded. He poked her cheek lightly. "I like when you smile."

"Yeah?" Even if she wanted to, she couldn't hold back a smile.

Luke smiled too. "Yeah."

Caught up with Luke's spontaneous declaration, Julie mised her favourite part of the episode -- the one where they finally had their first date. But Luke didn't.

"When we get better," he said slowly, "when we're not sick anymore . . . Do you think we could go out together? Maybe next weekend?"

Julie nodded. "Absolutely. Flynn already texted about rescheduling--"

"No. No, I mean . . . like a date. Just you and me."

"Oh," Julie said softly, eyes wide.

"Oh? Julie, 'oh' is what you say when you get socks for Christmas."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm just . . . surprised. I thought I worked out this crush thing and then here you are, asking me out and all I can think is that I wasted so much energy trying to stifle it all down when I could've just asked you out myself like two years ago."

Luke blinked up at Julie. "So, is that a yes or a no? I'm a little confused."

"Oh, only a little? Yes, you dork."

Luke suddenly yawned.

"Tired?"

"Only a little."

"Go to sleep," Julie said, using the same tone Rose had used on them both earlier.

Luke thought it was going to be pretty difficult to fall asleep when Julie was sitting there, threading her fingers through his hair like she had no idea how fast she made his heart beat. But it barely took him a minute before he was out completely. With a yawn of her own, Julie quickly followed.

Carrie snickered softly. "Quick!" she whispered. "They're waking up!"

"Okay!" Willie whispered back. "Okay, hold it up."

The bunch of them gathered behind the ridiculously large cardboard posted they'd thrown together the moment they arrived after the text from Rose.

Blinking tiredly, Julie and Luke sat up and took a few seconds to focus on the grinning faces in front of them.

"Congratulations!"

Julie and Luke both turned several shades redder (not by any fault of their ebbing fevers) as the group thrust the banner forward. It's about damn time.

"Shut up," Julie mumbled, retreating under her blanket to hide her face.

Luke scowled. "You could've said something!"

"Watching was funnier," Alex admitted.

As he did, the front door opened and in walked Ray. He took one look at the scene before him and groaned. "I can't believe I lost a full ten dollars."

"You bet on us?" Julie shrieked, throwing the blanket off.

"Well . . . yeah," Ray said, "your Tia is very persuasive."

Julie shrank back into the blanket, groaning in embarrassment.

Rose gasped. "Someone get Emily on the phone! She owes me five dollars!"

"Mom!"

But despite the embarrassment that was their family, Julie and Luke were very happy to have finally admitted their feelings -- to themselves and to each other.

Let me in or let me go I swear, out there Nobody else will ever know what you're thinking All your angels will not save your skin You'll spin Please don't forget that you're the end and the beginning

In your own sweet time you'll see Your neuroses unwind There'll be no rain on your parade There'll be no devils on your mind

So, darling, break out the laughing gas You and I know this joke soon will pass Give me your last request And I'll see what I can do To paint your grey skies blue Before I pass That's all I ask Break out the laughing gas

Well, let me go or let me in It’s time, a sign Please don't pretend that you just can't feel it All your ships are sailing, all your bridges burned Show me your heart so I can steal it

In your own sweet time, you'll find That all your words will rhyme They'll be no blood upon your tracks They'll be no thread left to unwind

So, darling, break out the laughing gas You and I know this joke soon will pass Give me your last request And I'll see what I can do To paint your grey skies blue before I pass That's all I ask Break out the laughing gas

Take all your ideals and well told tales I know a prayer that never fails Don't hold your breath, you dreamed this dream well Just click your heels and you'll soon break this unholy spell This hell Is only a story you tell