#jaocbwhitt

Opening my eyes I see nothing and I feel the same Let's go for a drive Let's hear some songs We drive through the night Oh God keep your clothes on I don't want your body Keep your hands off me No, I'm not gay I'm just not right Why can't we just Enjoy this night I fall into the light Stop moaning how you're tight I don't care if you won't bite Get out of my sight Leave me and let me be as am Alone and I suppose You've never obeyed the throne

We'd straighten our hair Just to think we were going to someone fair And we would touch Kiss me but I'm confused Let's touch more Maybe this will feel right We listen to the veil But my heart is turning stale God these kisses Where am I? Is this right? What do we feel? You speak truth But this feels fake Taste me again Convince me this is real I can't see it Let me try again Oh God I can't feel it Oh God I can't feel it When do your words have meaning When do they bleed into my soul When do I believe it I feel so confused Stare into my eyes Don't you see My eyes are clouded Why do you ignore it Am I blind Is this a lost cause Do I follow these lies Or do I follow the sound of my sighs You'll shush them You'll silence them You'll hold me And I gander at freedom What life am I living? Is it true and wanted? Or is it fake and expected? What control do I have? More than I think But you're here to convince me your more But what do I want Can I walk away I want something real You'll stay right Right Or is this again another story to enter my past How much longer for me to play this game Maybe this game is empty Should I search for reality What is even real Tell me what is real But who can tell me what it is.....

Look at me Holy Ghost I'm trapped in 2006 16 years of living in darkness Wondering when it'll just fade away Turns out I'm living in the past I mature but question my maturity Am I stuck in fake suffering Or am I in real trouble Look at me Can you speak to me And ask what's real or false Will I know? Will logic save me? Will feelings end me? Will thinking cause debate? Will anyone be there for that? Turns out all my debates are within I do not care about your opinions Looks like my beliefs are above you Seems like I'm a lost cause Scream your truth to me I'll nod my head You don't move me The devil dances in my arms He wants to dance to my death God yells from the balcony My eyes are clouded He sings for me to see I dance to the music of the devil Strip my soul from his arms Give me His power Look at me! Look at me! I'm lost! I'm stuck in the ocean of blood I'm swimming in the sea of Hell I'm gasping and gagging What does the surface look like? Does God even want me to breathe? Watch me sink Watch me reach the surface Where will I stay? Oh God save me I'm so scared I'm fearing myself Should I live or should you let me die? Give me guidance to the final pour of blood Will it be sacred and holy Or shall it be the end of everything Everything that has to do with me?

Ain’t much for a poet Oh God you all know it Look at me typing words None of them is my name on a check It’s expensive to be depressed Costs a lot of effort to feel I feel so poor to even try How much to feel something real Look at my sinking ship My crashing plane My pale face Suffocating and twitching All I can do is explain Something deeper than money Something more,  Something more than a honey You gotta love yourself This stuff is getting wrecked You’re world will fall apart  If you are not in check I just want to love You and myself Let’s just enjoy ourselves Please nothing else It’s just us You have to trust Trusting each other  Is an absolute must I’m here No where else I’m near Stop your mind from wondering somewhere else  A mind full of love Look at me I’m incapable to express How different I feel from the rest You’ve heard this before? Not from me! It’s hard to believe? I’ll let you see! You want real? You want no doubts?! Look into my eyes Hear my voice and feel the truth   You need more!?  Stay with me. I’ll show you everything you need. Look at me and see! I’m here. I’m hear my dear.  I want you I want you near. I’m being sincere.  Do not fear. My guts are out. I didn’t even look in a mirror. I hope I look okay to love. You are from above I’m very aware how undeserving I am my love But I want to try You’re my why You’re my tears, blood and ____  You’re my life.