#januaries

I tried. I really tried. But after thinking, "I'm not enjoying this. Maybe I'll try one more?" after every single story, I can't do it. I can't try just one more. I'm not strong enough.

The writing style was unimpressive. It alternated between unsuccessfully attempting a lyrical voice and (much more often) writing in what I've now termed "meme voice"—a quippy, modern-slangy, overly casual tone that often jarred with the fantastical fairytale setting. The two styles together clashed, and neither was wielded with much success.

The short stories themselves seemed to take a very long time to accomplish very little. There was a lot of needlessly convoluted setup, where the only payoff was the exact same cookie-cutter couple falling in love. Again. Seemed extremely roundabout. None of these stories are really "doing anything."

I picked this up because the cover is gorgeous and I thought the seasonal framing would make it a good pick for the start of the year. While the cover remains gorgeous and has thankfully not decayed Dorian Gray-style, even the seasonal framing seems arbitrary. Maybe it becomes clearer with later stories in the collection, but so far there hasn't been anything to tie these stories to their particular season thematically. There's no sense of temporality at all, which seems careless given this collection is structured around time.

I try really hard to finish everything that I pick up by choice. I don't DNF lightly. I can't even remember the last time I outright gave up. But my good will as a reader has been completely squandered and I don't think there's any benefit to continuing—either for myself or for this review, which would probably devolve into angry swearing if I tried to force myself through an insurmountable 200 more pages.

I haven't read any Olivie Blake before, though I know of her. Maybe her novels are stronger (short stories are their own unique skill set), but unfortunately I'm not very motivated to find out, as this was a poor first impression.

Below are my notes that I jotted while reading each story:

The Wish Bridge: 2.5 stars Writing is very juvenile. Alternates between attempting a lyrical fairytale voice (itself meh) and extremely modern slang-y phrasing, which is jarring. Feels like flash fiction on tumblr, but not in a good way (aka trying too hard to rules-lawyer a trope or genre convention, instead of telling an actual story). Not a strong start for a collection.

The Audit: 1 star Took a long time to do not very much, which is not a great quality in a short story. The whole setup seemed like a needlessly roundabout way to achieve what it wanted to achieve; I was expecting it to do More based on the premise. The meme-y voice still isn't my favorite, but it fit better for this story and this character. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around someone unironically writing and publishing this story In This Economy. It truly boggles my mind that this story has NOTHING to say about labor OR free will vs destiny. Truly taking the speculative out of spec fic.

TUMBLR EXCLUSIVE: I hated this short story so much that I had to text @opheliaintherushes venting about the bizarre pointless premise, and I think you'll all hate it too, so I'm transcribing my annoyed texts below so you know that I am Justified In My Ire once you understand the plot [editor's note: annoyed texts have been condensed for clarity]: so it's set in what I'm ASSUMING is a near-future sci-fi setting where using ~technology, they have this new pilot program where people in their 20s can find out how much money they're going to earn in their entire life, get the whole lump sum upfront as a loan, go enjoy their youth, and then when they're like 35 they go do whatever job they're "meant to do" that earns them all that money in the first place You might think the point of this setup is to explore something about work or wealth or youth or capitalism. You would be wrong. Our annoying 20-something protagonist finds out the ~terrible news that she now has 40 MILLION DOLLARS IN HER BANK ACCOUNT. She has to go to grad school when she's 30 so she can get the qualifications for her job at age 35, but otherwise she has a decade to enjoy HAVING 40 MILLION DOLLARS Also did the question of free will or fate factor into this ever? No. It did not. She spends the entire short story doing absolutely nothing. She said she was going to quit her job to travel. She doesn't do this. She repeatedly GOES TO WORK. (She works in, wait for it, a bookstore because of course she does of COURSE she fucking does. and it's a ~chill bookstore that makes all its money selling rare books so she doesn't have to do like, any work). It is so many pages of her just like, considering buying Nice Chocolate and then getting stressed and not buying it. And then continuing to go to work The thing that she DOES do is repeatedly hang out with her downstairs neighbor in his apartment that he never leaves ever. He only got several hundred-thousand dollars, because he's going to die young, which is why he's stopped leaving the apartment (again: do questions of fate come into play here? No) They fall in love, which apparently was the actual point of this short story. Seems like a whole lot of unnecessary setup to me just to write a story about falling in love with your weird neighbor So anyway, after doing absolutely nothing with her 40 MILLION DOLLARS for like twenty pages except think about how she doesn't really know what to do with it, it ends with her renting a bunch of famous paintings from museums and bringing them to this guy's apartment so that he can enjoy them without leaving his apartment. The end. hold onto your blood pressure, but her roommate is in law school (she chose not to find out her ~destiny) and the protagonist is like "do you want me to like, pay for law school" and the roommate says no (??) and the protagonist is like "I just want to make things easier on you" and the roommate says AND I QUOTE "things being easy isn't the point." which like WHAT. in this economy????? Why are you setting up a story about WEALTH AND FATE AND PREDESTINATION AND WORK to literally just bone your neighbor I'm literally staring at the wall of my cubicle and thinking "I don't know if I can do it. I'm not strong enough." Usually books that I hate take longer than this to go off the rails. It's been 51 pages. There's 300 more.

this was also the point when I came on tumblr and complained to you all about my suffering, but then I continued to read two more stories "just in case it got better." It didn't.

Sucker for Pain: 3.5 stars On a style level, the writing was worlds better than the first two. But in terms of plot and character, it was basically every YA paranormal fantasy that's ever been written condensed into 40 pages, so it wasn't really for me. At least that there was some degree of prose.

My feeling is again that we just sort of meandered around for 40 pages. There isn't a strong sense of purpose here, or that real kick that short stories are meant to have. So far none of these have been Doing Anything in a storytelling sense

The Animation Games: 2 stars Well, this one went in directions I did not expect, which is not the same as Doing Something. Again took too long to do very little of substance and unfortunately it devolved into meme-y-ness and a very typical couple dynamic that's been done to (ha) death. I kept looking at the number of pages and feeling deeply frustrated that there were more of them. Romantically murdering each other with weird antics like somebody decided they wanted Tom/Jerry instead of Tom & Jerry went on for an excruciating number of pages.

Shoutout to one of the worst sentences I've ever read: "He let the water coat his lips, seeping coolly onto his tongue, before it slithered gradually down his throat and settled conclusively in his stomach." Slithered? Settled conclusively?? Maybe I shouldn't have complained about the meme voice if this is what her attempts at being lyrical are like. But unfortunately this sentence lives in the same story as meme-voice dialogue such as "I sort of assumed you were the regular kind of dead." It's painful.

The only thing I felt after this story was exhausted relief that it was over.

Thank you Macmillan Australia for sending me a copy of this in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed most of these stories, though there were a few misses for me (one had no quotation marks and I uh…skipped it. Brain can not handle that when reading).

I REALLY loved The Wish Bridge, Sucker for Pain and The Animation Games. These three really stood out and were all books I would devour a full length novel about.

The diversity and creativity on display in this book really showcases Blake’s talent. Even the stories that weren’t to my taste were so different and unique.