Jans was born April 6, 1995. I remember clearly holding him, falling in love with this tiny little boy that lived inside me for 9 months. I remember endless conversations telling him how much I loved him.

Jans has always been a mama's boy, my best friend, my safe place. He shouldered a lot when he was so young but has grown to be a wonderful man.

He's getting engaged today and I find that I'm an emotional mess. I keep thinking about Papi, how he would love this. I think about Cindy.... Cindy would be so involved. Manny! Manny would be parked outside to watch it all. I miss them all so much but I feel, very strongly, that they are watching all of this. They are cheering Jans on, they are loving and supporting him.