Today, Jannik Sinner: 1. stepped onto court wearing a jacket with holes, looking surprisingly good in it 2. took the jacket off to reveal that nike finally took proper measurements and gave him distractingly fitted clothing 3. started hitting forehands in every direction humanly possible, just not the direction he was aiming for 4. threatened to do the same with his backhands 5. revealed nike demanded his serve in exchange for proper measurements and he caved 6. slipped on grass (part 1) and landed on his ass and made everyone laugh 7. lost the set to his famed serbian rival 8. slipped on grass (part 2) and gave all his fans heart attacks (more on this below) 9. pissed himself off 10. pissed vagno off 11. flopshotted so hard darren almost traded a limb to make it stop 12. made carlos alcaraz cry at the most hideous drop shot attempt in history (stay strong, carlos, my beloved) 13. won the second set!! 14. violated wimbledon guidelines with the blood seeping through his shoe 15. lost the third set tiebreak and ragebaited everyone active on the tennis lb tag 16. started throwing himself around mercilessly because he hates me 17. went to five sets with serbian rival 18. refused to change shoe that was more red than white and most certainly a violation of wimbledon's dress code 19. remembered who he is 20. WON A MATCH THAT WENT TO FIVE SETS 21. went on to laugh about the fall that stopped hundreds of hearts 22. went on to laugh about the blood seeping OUT of his shoe 23. received the information that his beloved jack draper withdrew from the tournament 24. had his post liked by fated rival, state-sponsored lover, homoerotic obsession, carlos alcaraz 25. probably had to unstick his bloody socks from his wound so a minute of silence for that mental image
