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My ✨fairy godfather✨ randomly came over today, told me he nearly ran someone over on his way to a gig (he’s in a rock band) and he just played the bass with 2 dislocated fingers, then crashed the car into a barrel on his way home???
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I swear janelore never disappoints. Yes she for sure found your cosplay funny !! (In a good way)
Im from a long line of crazy fucking bitches. This was the aunt who used to be obsessed with cleaning, she loved seagulls cos they were so clean. She used to point them out and say “eeee! you could eat your dinner of his back!”
One of my other aunts turned up to my parents wedding in a French maid outfit✨💗👑
Frequent admin hiccups I had as an off grid nan-kid:
“What’s the address on this?” Idk I’ve lived ten places this year.
“What’s your full name?” I don’t remember which I told you.
“Who brought you here?” Well I’m an only child but she’s my sister.
“Are you free on Saturday?” Are you kidding? That’s the day after tomorrow, how the hell can I predict that!
🦉Positivity owl reporting for duty! This was sent by a friend who wants you to smile as much as you make them smile. Please feel free to respond to this ask by listing some of your happiest memories, favorite qualities about yourself, or discussing something you are super passionate about. You may send the owl to those who you feel deserve to smile (but no pressure).🦉 ya bastard <3✨️
*narrows eyes* hang on a second…!
Anyway this is a sweet one! I never know what to say about myself or anything I enjoy so here’s an appallingly unironic letter I wrote to my distant cousin and her husband when I was 14. I found it in the notes on my old computer, and it made me laugh (and cringe)!
*Making small talk at a party* “so…at what age did you first witness a death?”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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It’s summer 2013. You’re 11. Your grandma just passed away. Your family send you upstairs to play on the computer while they arrange the funeral. You watch the short-lived children’s satirical series DNN on iplayer. They have Lucy Spraggan on as a guest. She sings Lighthouse. You instantly become a lesbian. This is really bad timing.
Being a film student is the most degrading experience sometimes. Vet med student has to read 6 chapters on cow parasites and learn every bone in a cat by tomorrow. I’m reading a scathing article in the NYT and making an edit of lighting in David Lynch films.
Walking to the bus stop this morning. 10 minutes down 70 to go. 
