I recently heard a colleague describe the difference between what she does and what I do as “Jamie doesn’t let anything slide.” Better said, I stick to the plan! It keeps horses and humans safe, as a priority. Aside from a mountain of experience and education, separating us, she was correct. I don’t let things “slide,” when it comes to horses and my students. Why, because not all bones heal and that can dramatically shorten anyone’s life span. This is how I dramatically shortened mine.
What I do with horses is a system, it is easy to follow and when employed with even a half assed attempt, works every single time. It did not work that day because I allowed someone who knew nothing about training troubled horses tell me my system had no place with their horse and they would tell me how to do my job. This, was the epic F-up that would change my life forever.
If compromise can be defined as a way of everyone making concessions, then it is likely the wrong word. What really happened that day was I was strong armed, belittled and intimidated into doing the wrong thing for my own safety and most importantly the well-being of the horse involved in breaking my hip.
The day of my accident I knew, before I even left the stable that my life was in danger. I will use the word “compromise,” as a descriptive term, but in fact, the only compromise that was actuated that day was my safety and the well being of the horse involved.
How did I compromise? By the use of the word FINE.
F-#$%ed up
I -nsecure
N- eurotic
Emotional or egotistical
My head was F-ed up, because I was mismanaged by neurotic people, advised by an egotistical trainer. My emotional state was worn thin and that is how the “compromise” took place.
I allowed myself to be intimidated into getting onto a horse that I knew needed more cautious training. I compromised with the famous last words, that could not have been farther from the truth – FINE, it’s your horse, and I will do just what you have asked and - It will be fine!
The thing is, I was a very experienced trainer, who specialized in Natural Horsemanship and troubled horses who have been bullied into ruins. The chain of events that led me to this point is a long, tragic story. While all I needed to do was accept that I would be fired, and that I would find another situation, my ego and the emotional state took over.
Because of my ego and anxiety, I took the ride that day. In my head I screamed, “fine, it’s your horse, I am just your work rider.” The whole time I knew that what I was asked to do with the horse was all wrong. I knew that she could not handle the conditions.
I knew the only way I was going to survive was to follow my system. And I chose not to. For fear of losing a job, I chose to do the absolute wrong thing. I chose to not stand up for myself, for the horse and for the system of training that had never failed me.
The result was a horse rearing, throwing herself over on top of me and crushing my already broken spine, hip and pelvis into an outcropping of rocks. No helmet or body protector could have stopped what was absolutely not a freak accident.
Once the wreck was over. I somehow got to my feet, collected the horse, walked her 500 meters back to her stable. Head hung in shame because I failed my own system by not every employing it. And this, the story of my broken hip serves as a daily reminder as to why I will never “compromise” or “let things slide” ever again.
My hope is to share my story of recovery, including the mental, emotional and physical aspects of making a comeback from “compromise.”
Jamie Lynn is Lead Instructor Of Heartfelt Horsemanship
Lions River, KZN South Africa Please like and follow my blog to be updated on new stuff!
You can find out more about here horsemanship program through Facebook, YouTube, Instagram and the website www.heartfelthorsemasnhip.co.za or https://www.facebook.com/HeartfeltPerformanceHorsemanship/
