There’s no amount of training or hardened willpower that ever prepares you to face death. On your best days, you’re confident and assume you’ll make it through. Maybe you’ll find yourself in a hospital, bandaged up and banged up pretty badly, and eventually your companions return to your side, relieved beyond words to know that you’ll make a recovery. On your worst days, on days that scream apocalypse, that beckon the end of one life in favor of another, you don’t hope to ever see anyone again or question of what you did was the right decision. When you were face to face with death, you force yourself to give your all and then some, praying to some invisible god that maybe all those you love and care for will somehow make it out safely or live to see tomorrow or find someone, 5, 10, 15 years from now, to love and learn to let you go.
Once again, Jane finds herself in this situation, finds herself defying anything that stops her from protecting the larger, more intimidating figure behind her. She has been bleeding and there’s nothing that can stop the dizziness that comes with it. There were too many open wounds and not enough medi-gel to last her until they stopped this mission.
“Jaime...you okay?” She asks and almost laughs at how weak her voice comes out. It’s definitely enough to startle the other and realize what situation she was in. He lurches forward before she falls, holding her protectively in his arms.
“L-Lola- why did you--” he starts but Jane just leans her cheek against him, closing her eyes to rest, if only a little bit. “Hey! Hey, don’t sleep now- you didn’t have to do that! Shit...! C’mon, I’m gettin’ you outta here so a doc can look at y-your--” Vega trails off again, his voice stuck deep in his throat as fire and knots wind in the pits of his stomach. The weight of this failed mission was slowly dawning on him. He walks as fast as he’s able to, carrying the commander in his arms to safety. She has to make it- she’s Commander Shepard. Sure she’s died before but this? Not like this. Not on some fucking recon mission.
“...just hold me a little longer. You’re actually kinda warm.” Jane hums softly, pulling the lieutenant out of his panicked state. Her words don’t comfort him, even as oddly affectionate as she appears. He holds her tighter and forces his body to move to find someone- anyone who can help.
With her vision blurring in and out, she tries to speak again but finds no strength in her voice. It’ll be okay Jaime, she wants to say. You’re with me. Isn’t that good enough for you? I don’t mind going like this- in your arms like this. Maybe she’ll regret leaving him behind the way she did everyone else, the way she did to him in her own world, but he’d find a way to recover. She wanted to pray, to whoever was listening, to be patient and kind to him and give him a life and peace he deserved. An immense wave of guilt and sadness washes over her as she weakly murmurs his name again, knowing he couldn’t possibly hear her. With another breath, she stops, her body limping against his.
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