#jakeseer

Longing for something, someone - I'm not sure who or what. It's hard to want something and have no idea how to get it. You know it can be done, you've lived your life seeing others get it, with no effort at all. You ask them how - they answer 'be you' - 'be who you are' - but frankly, that has gotten me nowhere.

                                           I wanna know

                              Tell me how.                                 how I can be...      I just want to be ...                 lost...

                      to be known,

            to be accepted as me                            for who I am                                                     to be loved ...

               Ignorance. ~

Ignorance for what I really am behind my flesh. I want you to know me - I told myself I will be fine, if you hate me, just as long as you take the time to know me first. I want the enlightenment I've been deprived of ...

I wanna know what lies ahead for me...

           I'm tired.

              tired of seeing people come and go...                         tired.

           not even giving me                 -  a second glance.

                                                    I want you to look at me.

look at me..

                                              LOOK AT ME.

and tell me what you see... tell me I'm not just a lost boy wanting a home, a family. - tell me there's hope. - tell me you'll come back.

                                                        Promise me...

*screams with*

This week was probably the worst week to have ever happened. With my recent infection of nightmare sand, Chaos is getting stronger and harder to keep down. All of you keep getting hurt and I don't want that to happen.

With that, I will leave for the next few days to train in solitude. I won't reveal my whereabouts to anyone, not even to Frein. And by the time all of you have read this letter I'll be gone. 

I'm not running away from the sand and not from Chaos. I'll make the darkness a part of me and not something inside me. I want to make sure all of you are safe when you're around me. I don't want to be a danger to anyone.

Jackson, Jake, I may not make it to your union. Sorry. But save me a slice of the cake! Also, I want lots of photos! Lots!

Jamie, Fre, I hope you two get back together. Both of you may be rough around the edges but you're made for each other.

Jack, KEEP DAMIEN AWAY FROM RAINFOREST! PROTECT IT WITH YOUR LIFE!

Amaya, Jeff, RAIIIINNNNFOOOORRRRESSSSTTTTT~ You two are so cute together.

Jess, we seriously need to hang out after this. You, me, Jeff and Fre. Twin team!

Alice, hey, we may have just recently met but you're pretty close to Fre and I like you! So, take care of him while I'm gone, okay? Sorry for dumping this on you. I'll get you some cakes later!

Jasper, KEEP AWAY FROM THE RED BULL

And lastly, to Frosty,

I never wanted to leave you. I never wanted to break away from you but it was the only way to protect you. You make my heart flutter and my knees weak. You made me both stronger and better. I know you probably hate me right now, you have the right to, and you can throw a million snowballs at me and give me bear litter cleaning duties when I come back. Just know that you'll always be the light within my darkness. Always.

Stay safe and stay strong.

With love,