#jaeger copilot

sister: are you texting me updates as you watch

me: yeah

me, some time later: so i'm tremendously gay for wendy

me: anyways my theatre professor hasn't graded my tragic gay love story scene yet and i'm nervous

me: also my roommate left her coffee cup under my bed??

sister: what the fuck

me: at what?

sister: both of those

me: challenge them to a duel

sister: you mean like a spin-off?

so one day i watched all of “million dollars but” which is a rtah show where they give you situations like “you get a million dollars but you have to do this horrible/awkward/embarrassing thing for the rest of your life” or w/e

and i was describing it to my sister as i was picking her up from school and i gave the first example i thought of from the show, which was “you get a million dollars but every time you make a cash transaction you have to lick every piece of money you ever use”

now i personally would not do this because a) i hate the taste of metal and b) money gets handed around so much and it’s really gross and i’m disgusted at the very thought of licking something that eighty other people have handled or put in pockets or w/e

but my sister went “that’s not bad”

and i was like ????? that’s disgusting what are you talking about

she kept insisting it wasn’t that bad so i went FINE and opened up my little change drawer in the car and went “lick that just lick it right now go”

and

she

did

she just grabbed a handful of coins and licked them really slowly and i think if i hadn’t been driving she would’ve been making eye contact while she did it too