#jacques laviolette

song is from Kenny Loggins Celebrate me Home 

I Believe I’ve Missed Each and Every Face (Home for the Holidays)

 Étienne sighed, melodramatic, and flopped over on his back on the living room sofa. He glared at the Christmas tree branch that hung over him and crossed his arms over his chest. This was the first year he was spending Christmas without his partner and he was – feeling it. Ever since they’d started dating, he and Edward had spent the holidays together. At first, it had been since Edward couldn’t fly back home and so Étienne had invited him along and afterwards, once their relationship had grown serious, they had alternated; one year with Étienne’s family, the following with Edward’s and so on. It worked. It was perfect. He enjoyed the compromise.

this drawing from 2017 [my first digital art in like 10 yrs at the time] always bothered me cause i never liked the skin colours. 

then this year i finally got a tablet of my own and i finally found a skin colour for étienne i didn’t hate.

so since for the first time in my life i seriously have more free time than i ever thought id ever have, i decided to revisit it and fix it up.

everyone got new skin colours

however, looking at this, i had Questions.

is this - was this meant to be a 2020 picture?

i say this because, ed’s hair isn’t his 80s-90s do.

i say this because fred is in the picture (and in my head fred always appeared as sam’s bf in the 21st century)

what plane of existence was i on back in 2017????? 

anyways. this version absolutely is post 2020. 

--

It was a perfect September day – still warm during the day, but cooling off in the evening. As was their new bi-monthly usual, Jacques and Étienne went out for lunch at a local diner close to home. Jacques had found out about this family run place when he had first moved to Trois-Rivières, many years ago, and it had become an instant favourite. It was a small, quaint place, served hot dogs, hamburgers and poutines and was appreciated by all who came here. He liked taking the kids here and sometimes even came with just Suzette and ever since Étienne was staying with him, he had extended the invitation to his brother. It gave them a chance to catch up away from the rest of the family and some quality brother time.

“Alright, spill, what’s on your mind? You’ve been fidgety all day,” Jacques said after he took a bite of his burger. From across the wooden picnic table, Étienne gave him a small, sheepish smile and stole a fry from him. Jacques didn’t say anything about it and made sure his brother could reach out for as many fries as he wanted. It was good to see his appetite returning.

god. okay. but this ask has been here since like. early early 2018. and i swear it feels like earlier. but i know it can’t because before that the blog got deleted. but like oh my god it’s been TWO YEARS. and like i remember saving the original meme image thing. and ive had it for 2 yrs. and err time i’d see it i’d be like frigaroonie. i gotta do this one day. and i just never did.

and apparently tonight is when i got this done and over with. wow. finally. i’m sorry.

I HAD TO LOOK UP AN OLD ART OF MINE. TO SEE WHAT THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE.

part 25

Day 19

Word: Godfather

Object: A white mug with black text that reads “Only thebest uncles get promoted to godfather”

Étienne helped Constance with her shoes, while Edward helpeda very pregnant Suzette up the last two stairs into their home – Jacques followedbehind, carrying what seemed like every bag imaginable a parent couldpotentially own, “Are you sure we’re not imposing?” Suzette asked as she waddledon, sitting down on the chair Étienne provided to remove her own shoes, “Areyou kidding? We haven’t seen you in what feels like ages, we’re more than gladto have you over for the afternoon,” Jacques helped his wife to the livingroom, while Étienne helped Constance settle down on her play-mat and Edwardwent to start the tea, “How was brunch and shopping with El?” Étienne asked,joining Edward in the kitchen and politely shooing him out of it, “It was great– she was such a good help! Too bad you couldn’t join us,” The original planhad been for all six of them to have brunch together, but last minuteobligations had them occupied and so they had agreed to meet up at theapartment for some tea and catching up.

“There’ll be other times;” Étienne said as he brought outthe tray with the teacups and cookies Edward had made that morning, “So how’sthe last trimester going? Still don’t want to find out the gender of the baby?”Edward asked as he politely took the kettle out of Étienne’s hands after he nearlydoused his right hand with scalding tea, “We made it this far without knowing,what’s a couple of more months, right?” Jacques joked as he placed an armaround his wife’s shoulders, all the while keeping an eye on Constance who wasfar too busy playing with her blocks to care about what the adults were doing,“So far it’s been smooth sailing with this one, way easier than when I waspregnant with Constance, here’s hoping the rest goes as well,” They fell silentfor a moment, each busy with their tea and cookies, until Suzette put her cupdown and made a hand motion to her husband, “Chéri, the bag for Édouard andÉtienne! I was almost about to forget!” It seemed to be enough of a cue forJacques, who also put his cup down and returned to the entrance where he hadleft his multitude of bags, before he came back with two gift bags in matchingcolours.

“These are for you,” Suzette beamed excitedly; both Edwardand Étienne exchanged curious looks, since there was no apparent reason forthem to be receiving presents, but then pulled out the tissue paper whenSuzette told them to open them up; Étienne was the first to finish unwrappinghis present and at first he didn’t think much of the white coffee mug he foundin the bag – he thought maybe it would have Constance’s handprints on it, orsomething equally adorable, but as he turned it around to see what was printedon it, he heard Edward gasp beside him; Étienne peered over his boyfriend’sshoulder and saw what had made his boyfriend react – instead of a mug, Edwardhad received a tea cup – probably to go with his collection – and Edward washolding it from the other side, so Étienne could read the text that was on it, Only the Best Uncles get Promoted toGodfather – Étienne blinked and checked on his own mug, only to find thesame text on his.

He felt his entire body swell with pride and emotion.

“For real?!” He asked to make sure that this wasn’t some bigmisunderstanding and that he still knew how to read properly.

“Of course; we would love for the two of you to be thegodparents to this little one, if you want, that is,” Jacques said, placing ahand on top of Suzette’s, which was resting on her stomach.

Étienne and Edward turned to each other, silentlycommunicating, before Edward nodded and Étienne grinned, “Of course,” Edwardstarted, “We’d be honoured.”

Étienne rose from his seat and walked over to his brotherand sister-in-law; he hugged them both tightly, mindful of the baby bump,before he got on his knees to be at level with Suzette’s midriff, “Hey you inthere, it’s me, your Mononcle Étienne, and let me tell you, you’re gonna havethe best set of godfathers this world has ever seen!”

Étienne watched, fond,as Edward and Julien sat together, huddled over some 3D puzzle they werecurrently making and Étienne still remembered how Edward had gotten theirgodson his very first 3D puzzle, so many years ago, and how it had become oneof Julien’s favourite things to do; it was nice to see that despite everything,the two of them had found their way back to each other and they could stillhave this.

——

PREVIOUS: XXIV

CURRENT: XXV

part 111

For thefirst six days of his stay, Étienne kept to his room and did not get up orinteract much with the other family members; Jacques, or Suzette, would bringhis medication and help him sit up to take it and they would force him to eat anddrink something; Étienne had refused food for the first two days and Jacquesknew from previous experiences that forcing his brother to eat anything solidwould only result in him being sick; and so Jacques would prepare a simplevegetable broth for him and help his brother drink the cup down; Suzetteinsisted on bringing crackers and other “easy to eat foods”, but more oftenthan not, Jacques returned with those items untouched – it was clear that theywere worried for Étienne and even the kids wondered why their uncle was stayingwith them, and more importantly, why he wasn’t his usual self, but they tooktheir turns to go and see them and if anything, their visits were a break fromthe insanity Étienne’s head seemed to be.

Most ofthe time, however, Étienne was either asleep or awake and neither was any good –when he was asleep, he was either plagued by his usual nightmares of crumbledbodies and shattered glass and when he was awake, he was reminded of everythinghe had lost and the same feeling of hopelessness engulfed and threatened tochoke him from the inside; Suzette worried, but her husband assured her thatthe storm would eventually pass, (or so he hoped, but he didn’t want to shareany of his doubts – he had to be strong and keep it together, even though, deepdown, he too worried – he had never seen Étienne this bad and had he known thiswas going on, he would have intervened way sooner); Suzette made it her pointto sit with Étienne for at least an hour each day and she would open the windowin the room to let some fresh air in – she would tell him about her day, aboutwhat the kids were up to and anything else that crossed her mind; when he feltup for it, she would help him walk to the washroom and then back to his roomwhere he would curl back up into the blankets and shake all over from hisbroken heart; Suzette would rub his back and let him cry in her lap, much likeher children had all done and when he would fall back asleep, she would let himbe, until it was time for another round of food or medication.

Suzette wasstarting to think that if this went on any longer, she would have to callparamedics to come and get Étienne – she and her husband were not qualified totake care of him and Étienne clearlyneeded some type of help, but she also knew how vulnerable Étienne currentlywas and so she prayed he would jump back and that he would regain some of hissenses; in the meantime, however, she assured her children that their unclewould be okay, that he was simply very sad at the time being and that he neededall their support – the kids took her message to heart and made him “get bettersoon” cards and drawings that they would personally deliver to him and Suzettenoticed that whenever the kids were with him, he seemed more responsive andthat alone was enough to give her hope that maybe the storm truly would passand that Étienne would get better with a good dose of TLC.  

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PREVIOUS: CX

CURRENT: CXI

part 110

“Étienne! Dieu merci, you’re okay!” Jacques made the drivein record time and barely parked the car, before he ran up the stairs toÉtienne; he pulled his brother into the tightest of embraces and Étienne wasn’tsure who it was that was trembling – him, or his brother, he felt Jacques placea kiss to the top of his head and Étienne tried not to cry all over; he madehimself small in his brother’s arms and tried to get a grip on himself; for amoment, they remained on the top of the stairs, hugging each other, bothsilently relieved the other was here – it reminded Étienne of moments in hischildhood when he had run to his big brother for comfort and when Jacques hadpatiently sat with him through whatever was troubling him, “Come on, let’s go,I got you now,” Jacques took Étienne’s bag and made to guide him towards thecar, when Étienne stopped him, “Wait, here, take this,” He brandished a Ziplocbag and handed it over to his brother, “My meds. They’re all there. And myphone. I want you to keep the bag. Hide it somewhere in your house. I don’t… Idon’t trust myself with it. You can count the pills if you want and just… giveme the ones I need when I need them… if that’s okay…” Jacques was a littlesurprised by his brother’s request, but he recovered and nodded, “Of course…come on, I’ll help you down the stairs,” They silently made their way to thecar and once Jacques had helped Étienne into the car and had buckled inhimself, he headed back home.

The drive back was done mostly in silence, while Jacquesmind was reeling – he tried not to think what could have happened had he notgotten Étienne’s call and instead focused on the road; he’d seen Étienne gothrough some pretty bad lows over the years, but this… this was the worst sofar; he was worried, he had to admit, but right now his brother needed him andhe had to keep it together – Étienne was still alive, was with him, and theycould figure this out tomorrow morning, after a night’s worth of rest, “Don’ttell Mom and Dad, please?” Étienne mumbled from the passenger side of the carwhere he was currently huddled up, “Don’t tell anyone I’m with you, please? I don’twant – I don’t want them to worry,” Jacques wanted to tell him that theirparents were always worried about him– about them – even when they were doing fine, but he figured it wasn’tsomething Étienne wanted to hear at the moment, “Alright,” He chose to sayinstead and it was the last of their conversation – Jacques suspected Étiennedozed shortly after that and by the time they made it to his place, it waslate, but Jacques was glad to be home.

The moment they walked in, they were greeted at the door bya worried looking Suzette, who rushed towards them, “Chéri? Is everything okay?I found your note on the table, is Étienne,” She paused when she saw Étiennestanding behind her husband and went to give him a tight hug, even if she wasn’tfully aware what was going on, “Étienne is going to stay with us for a bit,”Jacques said and there was no question to it – Jacques was not letting hisbrother out of his sight and he knew that his wife would understand; Suzettenodded, “Of course, you stay here as long as you want, Étienne,” She said,turning to look at Étienne, who seemed a little overwhelmed, “I… I don’t wantto impose – if I had known you didn’t know… I wouldn’t have called – I …”Suzette placed her hands on Étienne’s shoulders and made him look at her, “Hey,none of that, you’re family – you’ll always be welcomed here, you stay here aslong as you need – I’ll set up the guestroom for you,” Suzette left them andheaded for the basement; Étienne turned towards his brother and the same lookof lost returned to his face, “I’m sorry… I didn’t even ask if it was okay forme to stay here – if you had plans, I’ll leave tomorrow – I’ll…” Jacques cuthim off before he could go on, “You heard what Suzie said, it’s okay – we wantyou here; you can stay here as long as you want, really – plus, the kids willlove having their favourite uncle around,” Étienne didn’t seem sure of that,but he followed Jacques to the basement and was thankful for his help – in everyway.

—–

PREVIOUS: CIX

CURRENT: CX

part 117

Étiennesighed – it wasn’t that he didn’t want to see his parents, far from it – he wasactually quite close to his mother and he got along well with his mother andfather, but he knew that if they saw him this way – if his mother saw him thisway, that they would worry and stress over him; his mother would inquire afterhim even more than she normally did and he knew that she would stay up allnight tossing and turning, wondering if he was okay, if he had eaten well, ifhe had taken his medication, if he was feeling well and if he was able to sleep;Étienne remembered how his mother had always been the one to stay up with himwhen he couldn’t sleep – how she had never been able to sleep full nightseither and how the two of them had sat together, sometimes on his bed,sometimes in the living room, and other times in the kitchen and how his motherhad always made him a warm drink to comfort him; Étienne remembered how theyhad spent some nights playing quiet board games, or how sometimes, his motherhad read to him until he had fallen asleep on her – the last thing he wanted todo was cause her even more stress by admitting that he had lost completecontrol of his life.

He didn’t feel ready to see them – not yet – he didn’twant them to see him like this – not nowanyway, maybe eventually when he felt stronger, better, but he supposed he could call them to let them know that hehadn’t completely fallen off the face of the earth and that he was still alive…“I’ll do it,” He said, finally, “I’ll call them, but not tonight – I can’t,”And he hoped his brother would understand that the mere thought of speaking totheir parents right now was already sending him into a minor panic – that heneeded time to mentally prepare himself – to make sure he wouldn’t crack themoment he heard a point of worry in his mother’s voice, “Yeah – okay, that’sfine,” Étienne let out a relieved sigh, leave it to Jacques to understand yetagain, “Think you can do it by this weekend? No pressure if you can’t, but ifyou can’t then I want to be ready in case they ask.”

“It should be alright,” He said and he hoped it would;Jacques gave him a reassuring pat on the back and offered him a comfortingsmile, “I’m sure it will, now come on, we can watch TV in the living room,” Jacquesled his brother towards the other room and Étienne laughed when Jacques nudgedhim in the arm and ruffled his hair, “I’ll even be nice and let you pick whatwe watch,” Étienne rolled his eyes at his antics and retaliated by hittingJacques with a pillow once he was seated on the couch, “How noble,” He joked, “The noblest,” Jacquesreminded him.

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PREVIOUS: CXVI

CURRENT: CXVII