#jacobsessed

John: Um what’s this doing here?

Me: What?

John: There is a dog collar on your bedpost.

Me: What? You’re calling to ask me about a dog collar?

John: Yes. There is a dog collar on your bedpost. The same dog collar that I last saw in Jacob’s bunker.

Me: …

John: What is going on? Confess.

Me: John what are you doing in my bedroom?

Know your purpose. Hmmm…Jakey what’s my purpose? Oh wait I’ve got it…Making Jakey happy.

Why would you want a head on your wall?

Okay Joe.

I don’t need saving Joe. I’m fine. Everything is fine.

Whoa!

Faith! What are you doing up there?

Now where did she go? Sis?

Oh there you are! Hey sis!

Um…I think this bird is stuck…How did you even get in here?

Me: Okay Jake whatever you say…

Jacob: You know I’m right.

Me: Yes but…Can’t you just be normal for once? Just sit with me and have a drink. We could have a nice walk around the mountains. No talking about culling the damn herd either.

Jacob: I have things to do.

Me: Not now you don’t. We are going for a walk.

Jacob: No.

Me: Yes. I’m outside.

Jacob: 😑