Sender: Unknown â STAY Friend 𧸠â Def Not Han đ§¸
a/n: insomnia and boredom makes me creative. all for kicks and giggles. apologies if i misrepresented the group and the members. this is all just a head canon of how i think Han would act with a stranger turned friend (you). đđđŠđŠđ˛ đđ˘đŤđđĄđđđ˛ đđ¨ đ.đđ§đ, đđĄđ đ¨đ§đ đđ§đ đ¨đ§đĽđ˛ đđđ§ đđ˘đŹđŽđ§đ , đ đ¨ đŞđŽđ¨đ¤đ¤đ!!!
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â non-idol!han jisung x fem reader in which you suffered from an amnesia after getting involved in a car accident. han jisung did all of his best to help you remember the forgotten memories while he spiral himself, asking if what was crueller: To forget the person you love the most, or to be forgotten by the person you love the most?
content warnings: angst to fluff to angst. major accident implied, mention of blood, mention of amnesia. have i said it's angst, because it is. heart clenching. over all very melancholic one shot so please do note that this needs self-indulgement.
a/n: this is a one shot story i have in my notes for so long now. but after reading @starlostjisung's swiftkids anthology, i have finally decided i should finish this and post it. so hi! this one shot is very much inspired and tailored from taylor swift's songâ enchanted. and this very much dedicated to my dearest, andy! enjoy reading lumv! < 3
word count: 4.2k words
Han Jisung doesn't love you.
Of course, he doesn't. He doesn't love you the moment he first laid his eyes on you. He doesn't believe in love at first sight. Who believes in love at first sight? He thinks every relationships are built through friendship and that it should start from there. He doesn't believe that fate could wave its wand to someone and find their heart race the moment their eyes settled in each other.Â
Not even when he watches you enter the classroom for the very first time. How your smile shines as you try to introduce yourself. Or even when you tried to initiate a conversation with him when your teacher assigned your seat next to him. Not even when you gave him the warmest and kindest smile he has ever received, while you try to console him whenever he came disappointed with something he was working on.
He doesn't love you even though his friends had constantly caught him staring at you during classes. Or when they catched him doodling your name on his notebook unconsciously. He doesn't love you, even when he found himself writing song lyrics with your face on his mind.
âI am not staring at her, I was staring at the wall behind her.â He would insist, but trust me, his eyes would shift ever so quickly at you from time to time. As if his eyes eyes has its mind on its own that kept him stealing glances at you.
He doesn't love you even after he watched you strum your guitar while you perform the song he writes. He watches you with an absolute awe on his face, flattered and swayed by your voice. Full of emotion as if you were trying to talk to him through his song. Not even when your eyes stared at him on the crowd where he is at, while you sing your hearts out. Like the lyrics of the song you are singing are a message for him.
He doesn't love you definitely, why would he? This is just him supporting his friend. And so what if his heart flutter from the way you look at him? So what if he feels extra lively whenever your sunshine smile greets him in the morning? That doesn't mean he loves you. He doesn't.
He's now 21 years old and he still doesn't love you. He still doesn't love even after seeing you again after not seeing for 2 years. Now with your current boyfriend for a year, attending his birthday party.
âSungie! Happy birthday!â You beamed as soon as you saw him. Beside you is your boyfriend who offered his hand for a handshake. Although hesitant, Jisung accepted the hand shake.
You gifted him a flannel shirt which you knew he likes the most, even up until now and gave him a hug. God knows how much restrictions he needed to have in order not to combust right that same instant. You were still that bright girl he new back in high school. Your sunshine smile never changed even after through the years. You still manage to give off warm feeling whenever you are around and honestly that made him relaxed just a tad bit more.
But no, he's doesn't love you still even after he feels a tightening feeling on his chest while watching you smile and loving towards your boyfriend. His eyes never leaving yours, following yiu with his glances whenever you walk around the place.
âIf your look could kill, Y/N could have been dead right now.â
Jisung's head snapped at Chan who just called him out, frowned at him and shook his head after. âI'm not looking at her.â He defensively replied to which made him frown deeper when he heard the older one chuckled.
âI've heard that from you a hundred of times already from the past years, Hanji. You're not fooling anyone here.â
His eyes went back to you who's now talking at his friends' partners. Sharing drinks with them. Awestruck from how your face matured from the past years but your face remained the same as he remembered it the first time you two have met.
âHave they been dating for long now?â He asked, maybe unconsciously. He's curious you could say. Maybe interested to. But he doesn't love you.
âA year now I think. Why? Jealous?â Chan's smirk flashing his face with his irritating dimple made Jisung grown. This man won't really let him live out of it.
âI'm not jealous, hyung.â He replied, a little stern this time, before grabbing a glass of his beer and drank it bottomless.
Was he really not jealous? Maybe a little bit? He was used to having you around when you started being friends with him and them. He was used to seeing you smile and be vibrant whenever you spend time together with the whole gang. And when you had started dating, he noticed how you lessen your time spending with the friend group. How you focused your attention to your boyfriend, although he guess that's how it works since you are dating someone already. He's confused and he really doesn't know. If this is jealousy, then maybe he really is jealous.
But that doesn't mean he loves you.
He's 24 and his face contorts as he watched you cry your hearts out. You felt hurt and pained but he felt more than that seeing you cry against him Apparently you and your boyfriend has broken up after you caught him cheating, and now all you could do was cry all your feelings out. He was just there, humming softly as and rubbing on her back trying to console her. At that time, he felt like he was the biggest jerk on eart because why does he felt so relieved knowing you and your boyfriend just broke up? Why does he felt like he wanted smile knowing that it was him who you run after when you felt down and hurt? Why does it feel like he was enjoying this alone time he was having with you despite you being fragile and broken in his arms.
That's when he realized that maybe this time he already loves you. That maybe that's why he felt afloat and happy spending alone time with you, is because he finally realized that he loves you. And for him, it felt so freeing to be able to admit it himself that he loves you, that he was in love with you.
He relished the feeling of you against his skin, tried his best to be the best person you could lean on. With his shoulders free of worries and doubts. He hugged you like he would never hug you ever again and continued telling himself how much he was in love with you.
He's now 25 and heâs racing across the streets as if he's like an excited child. He's even out of breath just by how fast he was running down the streets but he doesn't care about any of that. A huge smile plastered on his lips while he runs as fast he could, telling himself how much he loves you. It maybe took him a lot of time to decide whether to confess his feelings or not, but here he is, rushing his way to your home. And eventhough the rain is pouring hard at that moment, he doesn't care at all, he needs to be there with you and tell you how much he loves you. He doesn't even mind that the rain is muddying his pants and his white shoes, non of it matters to him. The air is muggy and the clouds are plump and gray with rain but he loves you and he has to let you know!
All the smile and excitement on his face vanished when he finally reached his destination. Everything is splashed with red and grey. The rain pouring so hard it blurs his way. The red color dominating the place as the red color of the car matches the color of the blood splattered on the streets. And red for the color of Felix's hair as he approached Jisung with the concern etched on his face. He tried pulling Jisung out of the way, watching the younger's face contort with frown, trying to escape from his grip.
âDeep breath, Ji. Calm down, okay?â Felix tried consoling him, but the siren coming from the ambulance invaded his ears, he didn't catched anything Felix said. His eyes start to get blurry as tears form on his eyes.
âI love her.â He thinks while he watches the medics pull the stretchers inside the ambulance. Although the body hindes behind the medics that pushes the cart, Jisung knows by the color of the hair who it was being pushed. It was you, covered with blood all over your head.Â
âI love her.â He thinks, while the tears on his eyes continuously stream down his face mixing with the rain drops pouring all over him.
âI love her.â He thinks, while he the doctor speaks with him with gentleness, trying his best not to startle him knowing how extreme this accident had come. Tears are still streaming down his face, sobs choking him while the doctor bombarded him with an influx of difficult medical terms which himself couldn't comprehend. All that he could pick up was the possibility of you having amnesia due to the impact of your head injury from the accident.
He was now alone, hands on his head, shaking, as he try to wrap his head around what is happening.
âI love her.â He realizes and it makes his heart ache more.
âI love her.â He cries his heart out, sobs choking his throat.
âI love her.â He thinks, but he never got to tell her.
A huge sigh came off of Jisung's lips as stood in front of your hospital room, contemplating whether he should knock or not. With him is ahuge photobook consist of theor times during college where the whole gang created a scrapbook full of their photos together, personalized by each of everyone. On his shoulder is an acoustic guitar, gifted by you last year.
He slid at the doorway of your hospital room and immediately your gaze full of suspicion swimming your eyes. Your forehead creasing, as you try to pull the hospital blanket upwards. Jisung looked at you, worries and sadness on his face, trying to hide it by biting on his lower lip. You were full of gauze and bandages all over your head. Tubes were clinging to both of your wrists. Looking at you right now makes him wanna shed tears but he tried his best not to, because he was about to speak with you again, and that he needed a lot of courage not crumble in his feet.
âWho are you?â You asked, a frown forms on his forehead.
He almost stumbled on his step with the words that came out of your mouth, his heart lurching, dropped to his stomach. His grip on the photobook tightens just a fraction. Through the course of 20 days, he's heard this phrase over annd over again, but its effects are all the same. It makes his heart shatter and sink.Â
âJisung, Han Jisung. I'm a friend.â Even though he tried his best to compose himself, his voice betrayed him, cracking just a tad bit when he spoke. His voice shakes, as if he wanted to cry but he needed to stay calm. This won't be the right time to breakdown and cry.Â
âA friend?â You repeated his word, you tried digging through your broken memory if you could remember a name Han Jisung buried behind, but you failed. You don't know who he was. You have no recollection of who he is or how you two have met. âFor how long?â
Jisung wondered, how long has it been since the two of you met? Whenever he would lay his eyes on you, it feels like it was just yesterday when he first saw you. It always felt new and refreshing, like a love at first sight, maybe it had always been a love at first sight.
â13 years,â he answers, finally gathering the courage to step into your room. He pulled up a chair and then sits on the side of your hospital bed.
You almost choke on your water hearing him said how long the two of you have been friends for. âWell,â You seemed to grow shy. Awhile ago you seemed like you wanted to king Jisung out of your room because of suspicion, now you felt like your face burns from embarassment, â13 years surely is a long time. Then, you could have probably heard what happen. Maybe that's why you're here?â
Yes he does. In the past 20 days if visiting you on this hospital, he had heard the words âWho are you?â everyday, and everyday make him feel like he wanted to breakdown.
âWell, partly. But that's not the whole reason why I am here.â Jisung smiled, ear to ear, his lips forming this adorable heart shape when he does, gums out that sets an assurance look to you. He then placed the guitar just beside him and the photobook at the side table. âI came here because I wanted to see you. It's been awhile.â
Jisung saw how your face frowned from confusement but he didn't pay attention to it. Everyday, as he enters your room, your confused and doubting stares would pierce Jisung's heart, but he can't do anything about it. You, on the other hand, finds it very weird as to why people would want to meet a person who doesn't even remember them.
âYou brought something?â You points to the photobook on the side table to which Jisung reaches into with a smile on his face. âIt's actually a scapbook. Made by you and the rest of our friends.â he started, handing you the scrapbook, âBrought it here, maybe it will help you stir some memories in process. Although you don't have to push yourself okay? If you don't remember, you don't remember and that's fine.â
Although still relatively confused, you still took the photo book in his hand and placed it on your lap. You let out a small breath before starting flipping pages of it. Opening it bombarded you with pictures back from high school and maybe college years you have no recollection of, but one thing you notice was the huge smile played on your face with every single picture you are in. I must have been really happy. You tell yourself while your fingers gently flip every page.
One particular page exceptionally caught your attention. Itâs your pictures from your highschol year music festival. In the picture is you, holding a guitar on your lap, while you are performing on the stage. In the picture, you saw how you looked so happy performing. You might not remember when the picture exactly happen, but you still felt nostalgic seeing it. Every flip of the pages makes you wonder how fun you might have been those days.Â
You swallowed a lump that is forming on your throat, trying to shove away the awkwardness between the two of you. Shifting your sight towards the guitar placed on the floor.
âYou play guitar?â You asked to which breaks Jiung from his daydreaming. He nodded his head with a timid smile before pulung out the guitar out of its bad, placed it on his lap and strums on it playfully.Â
âYou were actually the one who taught me how to play, back in high school.â He smiled, although his eyes are focused on tuning the guitar, his ears are all focused on you.
âI did? That's surprising. I have no patience when it comes to teaching someone. I actually managed to teach you?â You teases to which Jisung responded with playful frown, his face turning a slight hue of pink from embarassment. It was true, he wasn't the exactly the kind of student who'll learn very fast, and that made you scold him a lot of times during those days, but you were pretty enthusiastic into teaching him how to play a guitar because you thought it is such a waste of a pretty singing voice.
âWell for all it's worth, you did almost gave up.â
You chuckled softly, lips pursing in your mouth together stopping himself from showing further emotion. âCan you play a song for me?â
âI meanâ sure.â Jisung accepts the request in not so confident manner. He twists the tuning pegs and plucks at the strings, adjusting the sound until it is just right.
He heaved a deep sigh first once he is satisfied and strums.
He almost choked on his own spit when he strummed the first note and have already jammed it, making you chuckle softly. His eyes are closed trying to remember how you used to teach him the chords of his very first guitar song. His fingers shake just a little bit, almost cracking a laugh from him because of how nervous he is right now. He internally wanted to smack himself on his head because why did he brought his guitar without his pick? He forget how painful it is to strun the strings without it. He also remembered how you always scolds him everytime he gets the note wrong. You would stride closer to him, position yourself on his back, guiding him there. Your cheeks almost touching while your fingers brushes against him.
Jisung smiled as he started to hum at first, closing his eyes, feeling every note of the guitar resonates, with eyes shut and voice loud, completely immersed in the music. His voice is nowhere as good as yours as far as he could remember but nevertheless, for him it wasn't bad, he have been practicing it anyways.
âThere I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles. Same old tired lonely place.â Jisung bit his lower lip, fumbling from how he strum the guitar and quickly correcting himself, because of the tears that is starting to blurr his sight. He could feel a lump on his throat that is forming and it made it difficult for him to sing, but he swallowed it hardly and continued. âWalls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when I saw your face.â
At this point, Jisung is now wondering if you could hear how loud his heart is beating, mixing with the notes coming from how he strummed the guitar. You could probably hear it at some point. Probably one of the reason why you get along so well with everyone is that you are very much empathetic. And to Jisung he could always know what you are thinking just by reading your exoression. To him, you are like an open book. Just like now, your face makes this confused look as if you were trying to dig deep down your memories if this scene has ever played before.
âAll I can say is it was enchanting to meet you.â
Jisung lifted his head up in wide-eyed surprise as his sunlight-warm and husky voice joins his. Your eyes are closed, a sad smile plastered on your lips and your cheeks are all wet with your tears. He could hear your voice broke and shake as you sings the next line.
âThis night is sparkling, don't you let it go,â You continues singing, your voice soft and low and almost unheard, âI'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home.â
Jisung formed a smile again, singing along with you, the tears that has been pricking his eyes, is now streaming down his face, âI'll spend forever wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you.â
Silenced filled the whole room, only the sound of your sobs echoing through Jisung's ears. The two of you doesn't speak, doesn't know whether to break the silence or not.
âI remember,â You whispered, voice broken and soft. You lifted your eyes, gazing at Jisung who's watching you intently, tears continuously stream down your cheeks as if it was a rain pouring down hard. âJisung, I remember!â
He put the guitar down, flashing you a small smile, but his smile is reflects a heavy heart.
It had been 20 days since you had your accident. And through out these 20 days, Jisung doesn't sjip even one day not to visit you. And through out these 20 days, he hears you saying those words again and again.
On the first day heâd done what he had just done: carrying a huge high school and college year book containing all your memories together, your face full of emotion like sadness, happiness, and frustrations all at once. You will lift your head, smiling with eyes gloomy and teary while you whisper the words to him, âI remember! Jisung, I remember! How could I even forget about you!â
On the second day, he had finally learned what the doctors had meant when they told him you are suffering from anterograde amnesia. You had forgotten your memories together â every of your memories after you turned 13 years old â alongside with that, You can't keep new memories with him. That's why as soon as you closed your eyes, and as soon as tomorrow and sun shines the next morning, You will be 12 again. Jisung would be a stranger and nonexistent for you again.
On the third day, he realized that even if the world was cruel for the both of you, he couldn't give upâ he couldn't leave you aloneâ he couldn't let himself not tell you how much he loves you.
But every day Jisung faintly thinks which was crueller: to be the one who forgets the person who he loves the most? Or to be the one who forgets the person he loves the most?
âI know you wouldn't.â Jisung laughed in between his tears, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand. âIâm so glad!â
Both of your eyes met for a whole minute before bursting in to a cackle because of how your faces looks like now. Face tear streaked, eyes puffy and red. It took them a whole minute to settle down from laughing and teasing each other's face, quietly looking into each otherâs eyes, and fell into silence again. You scooted a little, creating a space beside yiur bed, lifting the sheets up and inviting Jisung to sit beside you. He didn't need to be asked twice. Jisung immediately pulled up from his seat and settled beside you, both feet under the sheet with you, tangled against each other. He smiled one more time before pulling you into a tight and warm hug.
Both of you wishes for this moment to last forever. He knows it was a selfish request, but Jisung wants to keep you for himself. He wanted to tell you so bad how much he loves you. He wanted to tell you to please don't sleep yet, afraid that if you do and wakes up the next morning again, he'll have to start again from the scratch. He wanted to asked you to keep your eyes open for a little while so he could relish this feeling of being able to love you without any restrictions. Jisung reaches for yiur cheeks, caressing it with his thumb softly and smiles. He also would place soft kisses on your forehead as he told him to rest. You, on the other hand, would lean into his touch. Your lips kissing his hand, but you don't care about any of that. All you care about right now is the warmth and soothing feeling Jisung's touches gives you.
âI love you, Jisung,â You whispered, enough for the him to hear. Your eyes fluttering shut and you started feeling sleepy because of his touch. Using all the remaining energy you have, you lifted yiur head and looked up at Jisung. âDo you love me too?â
It was a very open and vulnerable question. Your voice resonates with softness and innocence that made Jisung's heart ache even more. His mind wanders to those times when he was still denial about his feelings for you, those times when he thought he doesn't love you, that he couldn't be in love with you, and that he doesn't deserve to love you. Oh, how time flies so fast and wished he could go back in time so he could correct all of his mistakes and just admitted that he loves you.Â
âI love you, Y/N,â He whispered back, placing a kiss on his forehead, then to his nose, then to his lips. âI love you, so so much.â
When the next day came, Jisung wakes up from you pushing him off of the bed, Both hands clinging on the guitar and is about to smash him off with it.
Your eyes full of terror and you looked at him as if you don't recognized him. His heart dropped to his stomach, his face crumpled in pain.
You spoke out. Jisung's heart almost shattered as soon as your voice lacing with so much unrecognizable tone pass through his ears, your next words came off of your mouth, and his world shattered completely. âWho the fuck are you?â
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THEMES | loser!Han, popular!reader, Felix as Hanâs best friend, college house party!au
WORD COUNT | 2k
RATING | pg13
TAGLISTS | @hyunjun-jpeg @geniejunn @nixtape-foryou @jannine00742 @minspalette @danihow @mickmoon @betysotelo18 @softforcb97 @bearseungmin @hgema @devilsmatches @jisuperboard @kylielovesu @yangbbokari (idk how many of you are still active </3)
NOTE | I may be coming back. Iâve written like 2k for both WIPS Iâve had for a while and I think thatâs a good sign. Plus Iâve missed it here. This is just a little Drabble I wrote today thinking about how much I love nerd/loser Jisung. I hope you enjoy this and have a great day/night <3 love to all of you
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Han had always seen you first in a room.Â
From the first day he walked into his literature class that he had dreaded taking, his eyes immediately found you, slumped over in a book.Â
From the first time he went to a school dance, filled with unfamiliar, beautiful faces. His eyes had unintentionally landed on your face laughing with your friends.Â
To now, as heâs trying to focus on whatever it is Felix is trying to tell him in the doorway of this unfamiliar house, all he can see is you.Â
You, in a fitted-yet-still flowy wine red dress, your body winding with the music in a confident but still reserved way that keeps him locked on you long enough for someone else to notice.Â
âHan?â Felix nudges his bicep with his elbow, before adjusting his view to look at what his best friend is seeing. When he sees you, his mouth falls open into an âoâ, gently shaking his head at his friend. âYouâre cooked.â
That wakes him up.
âHuh? What-why?â He spins around, confused. âWhat makes you say that?â
Felixâs head drops to look at Jisung in a way that reads seriously? âLook at who youâre crushing on again, and then look at us man. Thatâs not happening.â
For some reason, he listens, taking something just a little too long to be considered a glance at you, before looking at himself. As much as he hates to admit it, Jisung isnât exactly in your league.Â
You were the top of your class, outgoing, and disgustingly beautiful treasure of the student body. Meanwhile, to most people, Jisung was nothing short of aâwellâa loser. Felix was just about his only friend, he spent most of his time failing his classes, and when he was free he was usually gaming with Felix or cooped up in his room with a guitar. They way he presented himself didnât help eitherâway too oversized hoodies and sweats that made him look smaller than he was draping off his frame at all times.Â
With a sigh, his gaze drops to the floor before he follows after his blond friend. Felix tries to comfort him, patting his back and pulling a chair out for him in the kitchen. Jisung gladly takes it, slouching over the counter and mumbling for the stranger on the other side to hand him a water bottle.Â
âListen man, itâs not your fault. Sheâs great, but not in your cards. Itâs better you donât get involved from the beginning,â Felix thanks the guy for Jisungâs water, before twisting the lid open and sliding it to his friend. âPlus, you know she has a thing with Hyunjin.â
Jisung nods. Unfortunately, he does know. Everyone does. It was hard not to with the way you two were always last to leave one of Hyunjinâs soccer games. Or with how he was always walking you to class, getting you lunch. The two of you might as well be dating already, but for some reason that nobody seems to know, you werenât.Â
Jisungâs eyes find you again without trying, concentrating on how you look so breathtaking under the cheap strobe lights and the dimmed lamps that make your skin glow. What he would do for just one chance with you.Â
ââ
Jisung had gotten comfortable watching you from the âbarâ area after a while. It was what he normally did, anyway. Everything was they way it usually was.Â
Until he sees one of your friends pushing you a bit further in his direction, your face flushed as you shake your head. He hears you giggle as you lean into your friendâs shoulder, âGuys I donât wanna play.â
Jisung quirks a brow.Â
âNuh uh, you never play. And itâs my birthday, câmon,â your friend pleads, tugging your arm as she does so. âPlease [Y/N]âŚâ
You groan, âFine! Only because itâs your birthday.â
Without missing a beat, your friend snatches an empty beer bottle off one of the coffee tables. âAlright, whoâs playing spin the bottle? [Y/N]âs playing tonight!â
Instantly people are forming a circle, rosy faces and sober ones alike. Felix jumps in too, though he would have regardless of your participation. Despite being Jisungâs only close friend, Felix was different from him. In fact, the whole reason he was here tonight at all was because of the blond party animal that was Lee Felix.Â
Which is the same reason he finds himself also sitting in the circle, although heâs tucked into himself tightly, waiting in anticipation for anything to happen.Â
The way your friends play spin the bottle is a bit different. Instead of just doing a quick kiss and moving on, whoever spins the bottle gets a choice. You can choose either a: truth, b: dare, or c: seven minutes in heaven. It had been Hyunjinâs idea in your freshman year to slice up the game a bit, claiming everything was too predictable in normal spin the bottle. Incredibly, it had caught on, and was the only version played at your school since then.Â
Your friend spins the bottle first, then someone else volunteers to go next, and Felix is all to eager for his turn. Whenever the bottle slows in front of you your friends shake your shoulders excitedly, before frowning deeply when it passes you once again. Jisung holds his breath every time.Â
Then finally, your friends decide itâs your turn. The birthday girl decides to spin it for you, and everyone quietly chants your name while they wait to see whoâs the lucky person to be your first partner for spin the bottle in ages. Jisungâs half ready to watch it land on Hyunjin, mentally beating himself up in advance for even sitting here to witness such a thing.Â
Nobody expects it to stop on the hooded boy that most of them canât even name.Â
Much less do they expect you to stand up from your spot on the floor, a shy yet playful smirk teasing at your lips. The circle erupts into a wave of oohs as you tilt your head towards the closet at the end of the hall, signaling for him to follow you.Â
Jisung is frozen in his seat, mouth slightly agape as he wonders if there was something in his water earlier because this cannot be happening to him. Felix chuckles, before whispering discreetly, âYouâre screwing this up,â and pushing his friend encouragingly.Â
Blinking himself out of his surprised state, the rest of the group laughs at him in a sort of supportive amusement, cheering when he finally jogs behind you.Â
ââ
Jisungâs heart races uncontrollably as you pull him into the closet. His mouth is watering at the sight of you so close to him, his tongue darting out every few seconds to wet his lips that seem to be stuck in a never ending state of dryness. His hands are sweating more than he knew possible.Â
âHey,â you smile at him, in of your arms coming to hang around his neck while your other one trails up his arm gently. Fuck, he thinks, this canât be real.Â
âH-hi,â he chokes out, and he can imagine Felixâs facepalm at his clear awkwardness.Â
Yet, you giggle at him, eyes gleaming from the traces of light slipping through the cracks of the door frame. He feels his heart stutter. âI havenât seen you at one of our parties before Han.â
âH-huh?â He sputters out, glancing between your hand thatâs tracing his bicep oh so gently, your eyes that are sparkling at him, and your lips that look so pretty talking to him like this. âYou know me?â
You nod, âWe have a few classes together, your presentations always go wrong somehow,â you hum, before leaning a little closer to him, âyou doing okay? I can back offââ
âN-no, waitââ he doesnât even mean to cut you off, but his hands hold you in place gently as if heâs afraid youâll disappear any second now. âIâm sorry Iâm justâIâm nervous and I-I havenât really done this kinda thing a lot.â
âWell we donât have to,â you smile at him, your hand gently releasing the hair at the nape of his neck that you had been twirling between your fingers. âDo you want to kiss me, Han?â
âPlease,â he manages to get out, cheeks flushing pink.Â
Your fingers make their way back into his chocolate locks, gripping them softly as you pull his mouth down to yours. Right before your lips connect, you pause.Â
âYou know, I always thought you were cute.â
Before he can fully absorb what youâve just said, you connect your mouths, smiling when you feel him shudder against you. You push him against the wall next to the door, using your hand that had been feeling up his arm to bring his stiff hand to your waist.
Jisung takes everything your giving him, his hands immediately snaking from your shoulders to your waist the moment you give him permission. He doesnât really know what heâs doing when he pulls away and gives you a quick peck, before diving back into kissing you.Â
Honestly, heâs just going off instinct, and you can tell by the way he pulls you tighter to him. The way his hand that he just placed on your hips makes itâs way up to your face to rest of your cheek. All of his movements are staggered and nervous, and you canât lie. Youâre enjoying it. A lot.Â
But not as much as he is. Jisung swears he must have died and gone to heaven with the way youâre touching him right now. The arm that was previously squeezing at his bicep has relocated to his chest and stomach, your neatly manicured nails grazing him so softly that his knees might give out beneath him.Â
Youâre doing everything heâs ever framed of you doing to him, and letting him touch you back. He canât even think about hiding his desperation for you with how much heâs squeezing you under his fingers. Not to mention the deep sighs and hums he fails repeatedly to keep inside his throat.Â
Itâs not his fault youâre everything heâs ever wanted.Â
Once again, he pulls away, breathing hard as he looks up to the ceiling. He doesnât know how heâs supposed to act right now, his hand falling from your face back to your shoulder where it started and his other one staying at a light hover above your hip. Did you always kiss so intensely?Â
He doesnât get the chance to really think about it before he feels your lips on him againâonly this time theyâre on his jaw.Â
Jisung sees stars.Â
âOh fuck, please,â he whines out, eyes squeezing shut.Â
You hum against him as you work your way down to his neck, and then his collarbone.Â
Then, as quickly as youâd started kissing him, you pull away from him almost completely. All he can do is look at you like youâd hung the stars in the sky all on your own, barely able to catch his breath.Â
You run your hand against his chest one more time, taking a deep breath, and whispering to him, âSorry, our times up. Iâll see you later, though.â
Jisung is still frozen against the wall when you open the door, absolutely drunk on everything you had just done to him. He doesnât even fully register the fact that youâve typed your number into his phone before your winking at him and returning to the circle. Itâs only when he hears Felixâs deep voice come from the hallway that he realizes heâs still standing in the doorway alone for way too long.Â
âSomeoneâs a lucky guy,â Felix grins, throwing an arm around his best friends shoulders. His eyes widen a bit when he sees Jisungâs collarbone, pride and surprise filling him simultaneously. âA really lucky guy, apparently.â
âHuh?â Jisung says, barely coming to. He follows Felixâs finger to where itâs pointing, only to see the light red mark you left him during your time in the closet.Â
As Felix is giving him props for somehow managing to get your attentionâand apologizing for his earlier commentsâJisungâs phone dings and he sees an unfamiliar number on his screen.Â