After Vanessa’s death, a suicidal and depressed Wade Wilson is constantly finding himself on the cusp of death trying to cross an invisible barrier to get to her. Every time he is stopped by the barrier and can’t reach her. For Wade, ‘heaven’ appears to be his old apartment with Vanessa—indicating that the thing he loved the most in life was coming home to her. It’s also important to note that with the death of Vanessa and his suicide attempt, his home is quite literally destroyed, just like his plans for the future with her. Everything he loved in life has gone. His ‘heaven’ allows him to be with her in their cozy apartment for the whole of eternity—but not yet. Vanessa explains to him that his F-word (his family—the X-Men) still need him to be alive for a little while.