#itto angst

Albedo

Contrary to popular belief it wouldn't be his lack of time or extreme focus on his alchemical experiments that would break the two of you up. He knows how to manage his time.

It was the RESULTS of experiments and his research that would put him away from you.

The possibility that HE or his world, was way too dangerous for you.

How many "Albedos" did Rhinedottir really create? Was there more than three? Perhaps four, five? And what happens when you come face to face with another Albedo?

"I'm afraid...There are far too many dangers surrounding myself... There are answers that I can't find...and perhaps that's the reason why my answer is to part ways with you,"

Alhaitham

Too much of a nonchalant attitude.

He expressed some kind of interest in you...but it's like... once in a blue moon. 95% of the time you're not sure if he's really into you. It almost seems like he's more into that book he reads all the time.

Simply just not good at expressing himself. Like, at all. Hides behind a "whatever works" and "I don't care about what other people think of me" attitude, unfortunately that seems to include you.

Is so straightforward that sometimes it hurts, but he's really just telling the truth through logical analysis.

will act like the breakup didn't hurt nor affect him at all. In turn it hurts you instead.

"I see. So you've had enough of me... And you only spoke up now? Pointing it out earlier could've diverted us from this path...If that's how you feel already I suggest that we stop seeing each other,"

"That's it? You're not even going to try and work it out with me?"

"What's there to work out? You've made yourself clear. You're not satisfied with the way I treat you, and I'm afraid I'm not going to change the way I act just for your pleasure... It'd be more meaningful for you to find someone who fits your criterias,"

Ayato

entering a relationship with a noble was not as easy as one thought.

It's not just about being together forever and feeling lucky because Ayato is rich and your whole life is set, it's also the not fitting in, the etiquette, the whispers from townfolk that you were too ordinary for him, the work that you needed to do if you were to become his wife.

All that was not really a big problem for you, but Ayato seemed not to know of your struggles, he was extremely busy, and when he wasn't, he seemed to think that everything was well and fine, since you were getting all your basic needs met and even more.

"...So I'm sorry, Ayato. This is just... All too much for me. I'm sorry,"

"...I understand. Forgive me, it seems that I've overlooked a lot of things...Perhaps it is as you say, that it'd be better for us to grow apart rather than grow together,"

Baizhu

because he is a ticking time bomb, no matter which way he looked it's not going to end well for both of you.

He either dies early or lives forever. In both scenarios he anticipates that the two of you are just going to be in a world of hurt.

Besides, he didn't mean to get so attached to someone in the first place, he knew his quest for immortality was long and arduous. You didn't deserve to walk that difficult road too.

While breaking up, will conceal the fact that he's only thinking of you and will possibly hurt you in the process.

"I'm sorry, but it's for the best. I ask that you continue going forward without me, there's no space for you in my... ideal future,"

Bennett

We all know it...it's his bad luck. However, it wasn't YOU who had a problem with it, it was HIM.

You understood that his bad luck was just some extended part of him, plus it's not like it was always bad, there were a lot of good times too. Plenty!

But the guilt ate him up whenever the two of you were stuck in a seemingly impossible scenario and predicament, brought on by his luck. He just had enough of it one day.

"I...I can't keep doing this to you every day! It's not fair..."

will be on the brink of tears before he even starts.

"Maybe it's better if you find someone else to adventure with, Y/N, sorry...!"

runs away before you can even get a word in.

Chongyun

Thinks he's not good enough in every aspect. It's really, seriously not about you. He thinks he's lacking in everything. Strength, maturity, experience, confidence.

So badly wants to stay with you but feels like he's not good enough and thinks that you're better off with someone else.

"D-Don't misunderstand... It's not because I don't like you anymore... I just...Please find someone else!"

Cyno

his bad jokes and TCG addiction. just kidding, you're not that shallow.

A lot of people are intimidated by him being the General Mahamatra because he gives importance to justice. While you, who had seen a bit more of him than other people had, it seemed more of an obsession to uphold the Akademiya's law and integrity.

This was not a big problem to you, you liked how he was serious at work.

Until one day when you were accused of plagiarising one of your papers and Cyno was the one sent to give you a first offense warning. The Akademiya knew of your relationship, that's probably why they sent him, to make it harder on the two of you.

Cyno didn't listen to your explanations on how it was an honest mistake, he still gave you the warning that you "deserved"

From then on it had just been different between the two of you, so it was really a mutual breakup. Or so you thought.

"...After that, I just realized that maybe this isn't the right time for us... We're both working for the Akademiya, we both take our jobs seriously...Unfortunately that seems to just be getting in the way of us...I think it's best if we stop seeing each other,"

"...I see." he pauses for a minute, as if tossing your words in his mind. "I...agree. Parting ways would certainly make work easier for both of us...it's the professional thing to do,"

Dainsleif

Has not moved on from his past.

Sure, everyone has their own baggage to carry, their own history to live through...but Dainsleif has heavier things than that. He seemed to wake up every day thinking of Khaenri'ah and the days long past. Was it regret? Nostalgia? Loneliness? You didn't know. You just knew that he wasn't really completely THERE with you in the present. Part of him still lived in the past.

When you explained that you felt like the two of you were not moving forward together and that it seemed like he wanted to go back to the past instead, he got offended.

"...My past is something that I carry forever, you'd claimed that you understood that," he starts.

"I do! But carrying it with you and letting it drag you backwards are two different things!"

He falters for a moment, only to leave you with his last words before turning away from you forever: "You will never understand, the weight that I carry,"

Diluc

is too guarded. You'd been friends for a long, long, long, long time before he decided he could let you in enough and be more intimate with you.

Even then everything was going at a snail's pace, though you were extremely patient with him.

The biggest problem with Diluc was that the two of you would progress one day, take a step forward, and then the next day it was like the two of you took two steps back.

Example: The two of you went out for a simple stargazing excursion late one night, it was nice and he had been incredibly affectionate. The next day he had trouble even meeting your gaze, and disappeared to do his work. It was also a little awkward during dinnertime. This scenario had happened more than once.

Hint: the closer he got to you the more afraid he became, thinking that he would one day lose you too.

"I...I can't. I love you but I...I've waited far too long. I'm sorry. I'm tired of this endless chase for you!"

He couldn't even say a thing. He'd wanted to ask you to stay, to wait for him a little longer, but he already knew how incredibly selfish that would have been. Instead, he grimaced, and looked away from your gaze, trying to find something worthwhile to say. There was only silence for a few moments.

"Goodbye Diluc," that's when you turned away.

Gorou

worships Kokomi too much and your insecurities just kept circling around in your head.

You know its his job. You know he isn't like that but the problem was YOU and not him.

Simply said you let your insecurity eat up the relationship between the two of you.

You couldn't bring yourself to say that you were jealous of the way he admired Kokomi so you broke up with him with another reason in tow.

Unfortunately, you're not a very good liar face to face so you did a butthole move and actually broke up with him through a letter. You just couldn't face him and tell him why.

All you mentioned in the letter was that you needed time to think and be away from him, and told him not to worry because it was your problem, not his.

Poor Gorou reread that letter over and over, trying to understand what went wrong.

Heizou

is just a natural flirt. You're not sure if he's doing it on purpose or not and you're not sure if he's even aware he's like that.

Anyway you'd seen him getting overly friendly (just another word for flirting) with a few other people a couple of times. You didn't let it get to you the first, fourth or even eighth time but you realized that he KNOWS that you're watching him do that.

So you confront him about it, but he claims that it's just his way of gathering information from others. People like to hear good things and some people are more susceptible to flirtatious comments so he resorts to that for his investigation sometimes.

You didn't really completely buy it and even if you did, it's not like this was healthy for your relationship. You just couldn't make yourself comfortable with it.

*You just chalked it up to the two of you being incompatible.

"I'm just not comfortable with that...I don't think I have to say sorry for how I feel but...I'm sorry anyway because I know you're just doing your job... It's probably best if we part ways here..."

"Is there any way to change your mind?" he genuinely asks.

You only give a lopsided smile. "You're a detective, I think you already know the answer to that,"

Yet he didn't stop you from walking away.

Itto

Kept breaking promises because he was too airheaded or too occupied doing something "stupid" with the kids or with his gang.

Pretty soon it just felt like you were an afterthought while everyone else in his life took precedent.

Got a ramen date? Oops, sorry! Got caught up looking for a strong onikabuto in the forest!

Needed his help to move some things? Gah, he was vandalising the bulletin boards, so he's running a bit late!

What's more you didn't actually mind that carefree, airheaded side of him...but it really got to you when he couldn't even seem to make you a priority. Not once.

He only realized that when he came running, late again, and stood face to face with a crying you.

"Hey sorry Y/N, I was just--...Why are you crying?!" is completely dumbfounded and clueless, mostly because when he came late, you had always shrugged it off with a smile on your face, or so he thought. This time you had a completely different reaction.

"I hate you...*hic* I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

Shocked beyond belief. It wasn't like you to just blow up like that, but he couldn't do anything except watch you turn and run away from him after that exclamation.

Kaeya

Sometimes you're not sure if he takes you seriously.

Recently, he's not where he says he is, you don't know why he doesn't just tell you where he is.

He said he'd be working late, but then you find out he's at Angel's Share.

He said he'll be at Angel's Share, but then you catch word from Jean that he's out on a late mission.

He said he's escorting a caravan to Mondstadt but he's actually on assignment in Liyue.

It came to the point where you altogether just stopped looking for him cause half of the time you couldn't find him. It's like he's avoiding you or something, which, actually, seems just about right since he's been so busy with "work"

It reached a breaking point when, for a week, you were unable to bring him the lunch you prepared...because he was not where he said he was going to be. It was starting to get annoying.

"I don't understand why you're lying to me! Why do you have to tell me you'll be at Angel's Share this afternoon when you're not? Do you realize you make me walk all the way there only to come all the way back with nothing achieved?"

"I'm sorry snowflake, that wasn't my intention," though he still chuckles despite knowing full well that you were about to turn away.

"You know what, let me know when you're ready to stop making jokes. Until then, don't bother contacting me,"

He just didn't expect you to actually walk away from him.

Kaveh

Entertains everyone and anyone. Naturally kind at heart, will stop for anyone in trouble...even that flirtatious man/woman who is clearly just pining for his attention.

No he doesn't quite realize this.

The same person had asked for his help at least 4 times now and all 4 times he had been happy to offer a helping hand.

The last straw was when he was invited into the stranger's house, they had apparently needed someone to help them move and re-arrange furniture and he did, working till almost dinner time.

You'd caught him right by the person's door, because Kaveh was actually honest and told you he'd be helping them today, but the person was clearly eyeing Kaveh rather flirtatiously.

"Come again next time," you heard the person say rather happily. Kaveh only replies with "If I have nothing else to do, I suppose,"

"Kaveh, they're coming onto you and you keep letting it happen!"

"I'm not certain what you're talking about...They just needed some help around their house, nothing suspicious happened at all. Even if there was, I won't let anything happen between me and a stranger!"

"Then STOP helping them!"

"There isn't anything wrong with lending a hand...It was a quick move of things, that's all,"

"How would YOU feel if I just went into someone's house and kept helping them "move" things?"

"...I would think that's nice of you,"

You actually threw your hands up. "Oh, forget it! You know what, for someone who LOVES helping others, you're not doing such a great job of helping ME," then walked away and never came back. "Good riddance,"

Kazuha

He's a wandering samurai. You knew what you were getting into but you didn't expect dating him to be so hard.

He was gone for weeks on end, and you were not getting on that boat with him. In essence the two of you were just not ready to follow each other to the end's of the Earth, and that was fair. The two of you were young.

Kazuha kind of saw it coming, whenever he visited you, you seemed less spirited and he had an inkling as to why. The time apart was just too much for you.

It was a rather clean break actually. A real mutual breakup that the two of you agreed on.

"...You could say it's just not the right time for us," you even managed to laugh under your breath and he did the same, though it was barely audible.

"...Mm. There are matters that you need to attend to here...and there are things that I need to do out there," he slowly stood up from his sitting position next to you and still gazed at you rather lovingly. "...Perhaps, in another world, you and I are bound together,"

You gazed back forlornly, "...Just not in this one, it looks like,"

Lyney

because he will always choose his siblings over you. Always.

Though that's not a bad thing because you also think that family is important...somewhere along the way you realized that family is the ONLY thing he had and saw.

Example: Lynette and you had gotten ill at the same time one winter morning. Perhaps it was the cold that was passing around Fontaine. Lyney had been so worried about Lynette, that he seemed to have forgotten about you for the next few days. In fact, Lyney didn't even realize that you caught the cold too. You had only heard from Freminet, who you happened to cross paths with, that Lynette was also ill.

You thought that incident was the end of it, but really it seemed that whenever Lyney wanted to hang out with you, Lynette had to be there too. You tried to understand...after all there's still that mystery of disappearing women in Fontaine.

The breakup was induced when Lyney completely forgot about your birthday, because Freminet's was around the same time as yours. You helped Lyney prepare everything for Freminet, and said nothing about your own.

You realized that there was nothing wrong with choosing family over everything else...but the problem here was that Lyney didn't even have space for you in the first place.

So you left without saying anything. You figured he'd get over it quick. You had even gone so far as to move away from the main city of Fontaine and out into another island, because what would you say if he found you? That you were jealous of his siblings? You weren't going to ruin a family like that and it wasn't right to make him choose...so you just left without a word.

Neuvillette

Had a whole brainrot for this man:

Part 1

Part 2

Scaramouche

surprisingly it's not his anger issues.

It's the way he wouldn't acknowledge your relationship. You wonder how you even got into one with him.

There's no public show of affection, but even behind closed doors it rarely happened.

You knew that he was going to be like that, and so you didn't mind it all that much.

It was getting a bit much though when, out in public, he would walk further in front of you and refused to walk next to you. When he pretended like he didn't even know you. When he didn't stop to help you even when another man had shown interest in you, bordering on uncomfortable.

The more time passed the more you simply felt unloved...but for some reason you still blamed yourself.

"...I...don't know. Maybe you find me undesirable, or just...unappealing. Maybe you're embarrassed of me or...or..." maybe you just didn't care in the first place, you thought to yourself.

There was a long silence. Of you turning your gaze away, of him still piercing into yours. And then...

"Tsk...don't waste my time...Leave if you want to leave, door's open,"

Tartaglia

This one is simple. It's his obsession for fighting plus his complete disregard for himself. It's a constant heart attack for you. At some point the anxiety is just too much for you to handle.

Imagine living every day just wondering if he's safe at the same time knowing that he just loves to look for trouble.

The foul legacy that you know of, he uses it with disregard as well, despite knowing that it wasn't good for him.

And there are even days where you know he was heavily wounded but didn't go to you, in an attempt to shield you from worry.

It's a constant battle trying to stay sane and unworried, until one day it all just becomes too much.

"...Nothing I say will change anything, Tartaglia. This is who you are...This is who you need to be..." you whisper while bandaging his knuckles. He lets out a short hum.

It was silent all up until you finished with his hand, you squeeze it gently. "...I love you but...I can't keep doing this to myself, I'm tired...more so than I have ever been before,"

He lets your hand slip away from his knuckles, and that was the last he saw of you.

Thoma

This one is also simple. He was always taking care of others and running errands for others that he sometimes just couldn't catch a break.

Just a classic case of not enough time for you since he had a job to do for the Kamisato Clan.

He knows it, and feels awful about it. So he's the one who makes the move.

"It hurts that I can't give you what you deserve, Y/N. This isn't it... You deserve more than this but I can't give you that and I'm sorry. Please look for the love that you deserve,"

Tighnari

Remembers everything. Can be critical of things you've done, specially if he thinks there's a better way to do it.

Simply said you just feel stupid in front of him sometimes.

He doesn't mean to, but he sometimes forgets to appreciate or give praise to the things that you do well and even if he does, it tends to be short lived compared to his constructive criticisms.

Pretty soon you felt like he only looks at the bad things you do, and never the good. Though he was really only trying to teach and guide you as an equal.

He in fact feels that you are one of the few people who can keep up educational conversations with him.

The problem is he kind of forgets that you're his lover, and that you would enjoy his praise and affection from time to time.

"Do you... Do you ever have anything nice to say other than 'good work' or 'great observation'?" the words were out of your mouth before you could hold yourself back. Sometimes it was tiring to feel like you weren't good enough.

There's a flash of surprise that crosses Tighnari's expression for a split second, before he recovers. "...Had I not been praising your work enough lately? My apologies... It has a lot of merits, I just thought that you wanted my opinion on how to make it better,"

You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again right after to ponder on his words. Somehow even that had managed to make you feel embarrassed. It was here you knew that the problem also lied within yourself.

"...Sorry, Tighnari...I think I'll need some time alone,"

He obliges quickly and asks. "That's reasonable. When would you like me to come back?"

"...Let me rephrase that... I need some time away. From us."

Xiao

Unfortunately there's a lot of things wrong here... his lack of affection. His aloof personality. His dedication to his yaksha duties. Despite that he does actually try to be gentlemanly or respectful of you.

The worst of it is that he didn't know how to be in a relationship, in other words he just wasn't ready for one, or perhaps he would never be ready for one.

He didn't understand that humans craved companionship and sometimes touch. He didn't understand that meant having to favour you over others, sometimes even putting you first over his yaksha duties.

Worst of it all was when he shut himself off from you, sometimes for days on end, when his karmic debt was too high. He only really did it to protect you, but never realized how isolated that made you feel.

When you confronted him about it, he felt attacked. Hiding away was the only way he knew how to cope...why couldn't you understand that?

"Let me help you, Xiao,"

"I don't need your help!" his tone would make you wince and just like that he disappears into a billow of smoke.

You never returned to Wangshu Inn after that. If he couldn't let you in, there was no use trying to knock on his heart. Xiao being Xiao, never sought you ought again either.

Zhongli

He had experienced so many things and you had listened to many a tales from him.

This is what caused you to realize that you hadn't even experienced life at all, and yet here you were willing to tie yourself down to him.

It just didn't feel like it added up. Here he was with all this knowledge of the world and here you were who had never even stepped outside of Liyue. By no means were you stupid, but you felt that you could be better not only for him, but for yourself if you learned more.

There was just such a huge gap in life experiences, and though you never expected to get to his level (he was a God who had lived for a long time, you would never catch up to him) you at least wanted to see what was out there with your own eyes instead of through his stories.

He understood that wholeheartedly, and had no qualms in letting you go.

"You will always have a place with me, Y/N. No amount of lifetimes will change that,"

I’ve published The Ruthless Prince (Reader x Scaramouche) on paperback. Click here.

Consider supporting me to read some exclusive fics:

Ko-Fi

buymeacoffee

Here's the Masterlist

You looked up at him, eyes widened when you saw a golden beetle trophy in his hands...to anyone else this would have been ridiculous, but you knew it was something he cherished, probably even his most precious item, "What... why would you...that's the most important thing in the world to you..."

He shook his head, setting the trophy in front of you, "No you're wrong, you're the most important thing in the world to me and I'm really really sorry I made you upset. I'll do anything to make it better, you can throw beans at me, I'll give you all of my candy stash...I'll even give you my prizes beetles...I just want to be with you."

You started to cry more, which caught him a little off guard, but these were happy tears..."I want to be with you too...and I'm sorry for what I said...I love you Itto."

"I love you more"

𑁍༄Tighnari:

Tighnari rubbed his eyes, trying to dry the tears that didn't seem to have a end, his ears droopy and you...the person he loved with all his heart, had just walked out without a word. Was it over? Was he never going to be able to hug you again? He just couldn't accept it, he needed you in his life and maybe he hadn't said that enough, but he'd say it as many times as you wanted as long as your promised to come back with him.

He quickly threw on a extra coat, he had no plan and no way of knowing where you had went, but even if it took all night, he'd find you just to apologize, just to let you know how much he adored you. He'd search the entire forest if he had to.

Thankfully it wasn't needed, after a few hours his ears perked up, the soft sounds of your sobs reverberating off cave walls, the place he had shown you one time while gathering herbs...it was by a waterfall that held glowing algae and he's been wanting to take you back for so long... he never would have thought the two of you revisiting would be at a time like this..

He made his way to you and sat down, feeling a pang in his chest when you scooched away, it hurt...fighting with you, "I'm...I'm so sorry. Im sure you don't even want to hear it, but I don't think I've ever been so upset with myself before. I love you and I have never wanted to make you unhappy...you...you are my person. My soulmate. The one. Please...I don't want you to leave, I don't want us to end...I can't...loose you."

His voice started to break, sentences getting harder to finish, he couldn't even picture his life without you anymore and the horrible thought that it could happen because of his mistakes was eating him alive...

"I don't...want to loose you either Tighnari... soulmates go both ways. I'm yours and you're mine and I love you,...I just don't want to fight." You swallowed roughly, trying to stop yourself from crying even more as he wrapped his coat around you and pulled you into him, embracing you tighter than he ever had, "I love you too, and I promise...no more fighting."

𑁍༄Kaeya:

Kaeya took another sip from his wine bottle, trying to calm himself down...he almost never got into confrontations, in fact he always avoided them, preferring to smooth talk his way out of situations instead...,but what had went down between the two of you was anything but smooth. He'd said such hurtful things, he didn't even mean to, he'd just lost his cool and then you ran off before he could apologize and now...here he was, sitting under the stars trying to drink away his feelings when he knew full well it wasn't going to solve anything.

Then as he was sitting there, staring off into space...he caught sight of you, just barely outside the city walls, throwing rocks into the water with a satisfying splash while sniffling and holding yourself for comfort between tosses. Suddenly his wine lost any flavour, his mind drawn back to when he first met you, the way your eyes sparkled, the way your smile made his heart skip a beat...and how you laughed at his advances, completely oblivious to his feelings.

He picked himself off the chair he'd been sitting on, left his bottle waiting on the table for a cheery bard to find and then made his way over to you, more serious and determined than he had been in a very long time. The second he was close enough he gently intertwined you hand with his, spinning you for a brief second so your eyes would meet and your body would be close to his...the air felt cold, but he had a warm smile and before you could even attempt to push him away he kissed your lips.

It was unlike any kiss you'd ever had with him, it was passionate...slow...apologetic, it conveyed everything he wanted to say to you without ever saying a word and when he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, he begged you to stay with him.

𑁍༄Aether:

Aether was running, running past branches and shrubbery, past trees and jumping over rocks, he wasn't worried about what scratches or bruises he'd have by the time he got to you, all he was worried about...all that was running through his mind, was his apology to you. He didn't know what had even started the argument anymore, he didn't care, he just needed you to know he was wrong and that he loved you, that he didn't want you to go, that he couldn't let you go.

He frantically searched around, looking for signs of you while he tripped over sticks and stomped into muddy puddles, "Hello!!" He shouted for you, his eyes scanning the moonlit trees and then, in the distance, he saw a faint light. It was the lamp you had taken with you when you'd left without a word and his first sign that you were near him. He ran to it, knowing full well he looked like a mess when he finally caught up to you, panting and covered in dirt....he looked like he'd just been through a hurricane.

"Aether what the hell-"

"No n-no, wait let me start. I just, i-i just had to follow you because none of what I said was true, I love you. That's the truth. I'd r-run to the ends of the earth to tell you that and then I'd do it again to prove it if you asked me to. Please, forgive me. I can't go on without you, I can't loose you too..." He looked away, trying not to think about his sister...about what it would be like if he didn't have you in his life anymore...what reason would he even have to continue?

"Did you really run...all the way here?"

"Yes, I love you and I don't want you to go..."

"I love you too Aether...and it's okay, I just wanted to clear my head, I'm not leaving." You went to kiss him...but decided it better wait till after he had been cleaned, you'd never had someone run so far just for you before...

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Check it out! An official new member of the Arataki Gang." The way Itto spoke makes it obvious that he's so proud, you understood of course, nobody really wanted to join them before because of their neverending... conflicts.

Their happy expressions were contagious, you also couldn't help but smile. "Oh, I feel like I've seen you from somewhere." You directed your words to the masked girl. She seems to turn flustered scratching the back of her head.

"Yeahhhhh... I was here the other day... with my mother..." When the girl answered, it finally clicked, the other day, a woman and her daughter were arguing there at the shrine, the mother talking about her daughter being a shrine maiden, with a stable income and a good future and all that, whilst the daughter was arguing that the job just wasn't for her.

"Ohh, yeah, I remember now!" You smiled sweetly at the girl, unknowing of the blush that she hid behind her mask when you showed such warmth towards her. "I guess you found your real passion now."

Itto crossed his arms proudly. "That's right! This is Kuki Shinobu! Our new member, just thought I should introduce you two to each other, but now that seems unnecessary." Itto looked at the green haired girl.

"Heh, good thing Shinobu didn't choose to be a boring old Shrine Maiden." Mamoru, one of the members of the gang, stated, instantly getting elbowed by Genta.

"You idiot! Do you know where we are?!"

You took no offense, even laughing at their poor attempt of covering what he said.

"Oh, no offense, Y/N." Mamoru said sheepishly, "We like you! You aren't one of those stick in the mud Shrine Maidens!" Another elbow from Genta stopped him from speaking, as you pretend to be oblivious of the dirty glares they were getting from your co-workers.

"Well, we should definitely be going now!" Itto leaned down a bit, stealing a kiss on your lips as a goodbye. "I'll see you back home." His words were gentler when his forehead is pressed against yours.

"Try not to get arrested again." You whispered back, just as gentle despite the meaning of your words. "Or else I might how to cuddle with Ushi again tonight."

"Not gonna happen." Another kiss and he was off with his gang.

...

...

...

After that... it was like you've been replaced.

Ever so slowly did it show that you were no longer needed in the group. Kuki Shinobu was one amazing addition, so much so that she became a Deputy Leader a week after her arrival.

It seems like you're gently being pushed away, it felt like now that you have a replacement, they don't want you anymore.

You no longer received news about the group, it's like you're not gonna be invited to any more card games and beetle fights and 'festivals'.

At first you understood, you were kinda always busy, you aren't always gonna be there, so it's great that the idiots have someone to have their backs and get them out of trouble when you're not around.

"Where are you going?" You were standing behind Itto, as he was about to leave through the front door. He never mentioned any affairs he had to go to that night.

Itto looked back at you and smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head and said, "I've got some things planned with the gang. Is it okay if I come home late?"

You gulped, looking down a bit. "Y-Yeah, okay, sure." His smile turned bigger, going up to you and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"Great! Thanks!" He left eagerly, whilst you sighed and tried to endure a wave of disappointment.

You walked to the kitchen, "He forgot..." You felt a tear run down your cheek, your hand quick to wipe it away as you take the pot of Itto's favorite off the stove and transferring a portion for yourself on a plate, the rest you just plan to give away to the nice seniors living next door.

Maybe it was just you that felt off with the changes, feeling bad that you don't get to spend as much time with your beloved as much as you would want to. But then again, that could just be you being overly attached.

Maybe it was just your own insecurities speaking when you see that Itto holds so much adoration for Shinobu, adoration that he has never showed to anyone before.

Maybe it was just your own jealous thoughts taking over when Itto keeps bailing on you and your plans in favor of going with his gang.

And from feeling like you're no longer a part of the Arataki Gang, it went to feeling like you were no longer an important part of Itto's life.

"Shinobu's basically the best gal there is!" He thinks so highly of her, you can't help but let jealousy cloud your mind. You were at the same restaurant they happen to walk into just now.

You knew it was wrong, but you listen in on the group's conversation, "She just got her school certificate from that big shot school in Liyue! We gotta celebrate!" You thought that eating at the restaurant might give you some time to think and feel relaxed, but it would seem like there was just a constant feeling eating at your skin everytime you think about the ever closing relationship between Itto and Shinobu.

"Hey, how about Tuesday next week, boss? I hear that there's gonna be this massive star shower that night."

"It's called a meteor shower, you idiot!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool! Remember that nice spot we set up our Drumalong Festival? Let's celebrate there again. I bet we get a clear shot of the beautiful sky there!" Itto suggested as you feel your heart sink a bit.

"It's not like I have anything planned, we can get started getting the things we need to celebrate now." Tears started to burn your eyes, you couldn't help but just look down at your food, feeling devastated about what you heard.

Next Tuesday is your birthday.

You thought that maybe it would be nice to go on a night picnic with him and watch the nice show in the sky, you aren't much for big celebrations with tons of people, heck, you'd rather have Itto bring his gang along, they always makes things fun and entertaining.

You had it all planned out in your head too, you thought that it would make up for all the time that you lost when he would bail on you. You already asked him to join you a few days ago, it seems that he forgot that he agreed.

But at least now, you're absolutely sure of what you are to Itto now.

...You had your great times with him.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"You're leaving?" Itto sounded like a kicked puppy, looking at your back as you pack a portion of your clothes into a bag.

You didn't bother looking at him, continuing to pack as you answered, "Y-Yeah, I have to go to Watatsumi Island for work stuff." You noticed that your voice started trembling, so you kept your answer short.

Itto looked over your shoulder, seeing a big pile of items in your bag. "That's a lot of stuff. Are you staying there for like... a week or something?" He chuckled, though it sounded as if it was in uncertainty, he really hopes you're not gonna be gone that long.

You sniff, you feel that your eyes are a bit sore from crying yourself to sleep the past few days. You felt fatigue, hopelessness, heartbreak, all that just in the span of a few days.

"A month, actually?"

The Oni almost couldn't believe his ears. "W-What? That's so long." He tried laughing a bit to ease a bit of the shock he felt, yet his laugh only came out awkward and confused.

"It's not like you'll notice I'm gone." It was what you wanted to say, however you kept it in.

"A-Alright, when will you be leaving? I can help you haul you stuff to the boat." You zipped up your bag before finally looking back at him.

His eyes narrowed as he looked at your face, it's not the first time these past few days that he didn't notice the tired look in your eyes.

You took something out from your pocket, taking out a purple envelope, you brought Itto's attention to the object.

Today is your birthday the festival in Kuki Shinobu's honor. And today is also the day that special meteor shower will be happening.

He still hasn't realized.

"Hey, isn't that the envelope for our festival. We'll go there together tonight, right?" He smiled sweetly at you, you were gonna miss that pure smile of his.

"Actually..." You sighed, handing him the invitation. "I'm l-leaving tonight, so you don't have to come see me off at the docks." You felt your heart ache as you see his face visible fall.

"O-Ohh..." It was a rare sight, Itto was at a lost for words, and despite your frustrations, your annoyance of being pushed away and being forgotten, you stepped closer to him before leaning down and kissing his forehead. "That soon, huh?"

"...Yeah." You shoved all the negative emotions down, hoping that your long trip to Watatsumi will clear your mind and void you of all the bad feelings you've been getting.

Itto's big arms wrapped around your form, he was sat on the bed as you were standing up, he rested his head on your stomach, feeling his disappointment grow by the second.

And he doesn't know why, but... there's been a part of his subconscious eating away at him all day, like... he's missing something important.

You pull away from the embrace much to your lover's dismay. You caress his face, smiling as he leaned in to your touch. This was actually one of the few moments that you get to spend time with him that isn't just you two getting ready for bed and sleeping.

"This is possibly one of the last moments I'll have with you."

You try not to let your tears spill out, you think that when you leave, he'll finally realize that... he doesn't need you...

A litte Shrine Maiden, boring and dull, in contrast with his exciting and kind of stupid way of living. You start looking back at what people have said about you relationship.

It's just a fever dream, it won't last.

He'll probably get tired of her soon enough.

She's just getting herself into more trouble being with an Oni. Especially that idiotic one.

You've never cared for what people have said about you, but they seem to be proving true right now.

You look into his eyes, smiling before leaning down for a kiss.

"One last kiss... Before I let you go..."

The man before you felt a strange feeling as you kissed him, the kiss was so passionate, yet it seemed full of sadness.

He shook off the weird feeling.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Itto sits at the docks of Ritou, waiting for a boat that would have the love of his life on it. There was a neatly wrapped present beside him, inside contained a beautiful jade necklace he bought with a portion of his saved up mora, along with a letter he poured all his feelings for you onto.

It has been 1 month 2 weeks and 3 days...

You were just a little bit behind on the schedule, he convinced himself. At some point, you'll be waving your hand, greeting him before you even come to the docks. He'll be coming to the docks everyday with the present until the day comes.

He's got a whole apology speech as well! If you got mad at him and chose to take the job at Watatsumi because he forgot your birthday, he has been practicing the words he wants to say to you.

He really misses you.

On your birthday, the meteor shower could apparently be seen from all over Inazuma, so chances are, you probably saw the glimmering stars as well. He just wished that he could have been with you.

Itto has been beating himself up for forgetting about your day ever since you left. He's been going to the Grand Narukami Shrine and have asked your co-workers almost single day about when you will come back and if there's any way you can come back early, they never give a preferable answer.

He understood the tired look you had now, the sadness in your eyes when he would come home late. You probably felt so alone when he's been going out so much, barely ever checking up on you, only ever being in the house to sleep and then leave immediately.

Itto held on to the precious moment you shared before you left, as he selfishly chose to go to the festival instead of bidding you goodbye, the last time he saw you was in your shared house. The sweet kiss you shared lingered in his mind, he clung onto that memory in hopes that you're not too mad at him to just up and leave and never come back.

"Woah... Didn't see you there, Beefcake." Despite trying to put some enthusiasm in his voice, the sadness the Oni felt was to obvious to mask.

Ushi slid by his side, looking at the see that his owner was previously staring at. Itto chuckled at the bull's action. "Yeah, I miss her too." He couldn't help but sigh.

The little animal reached for it's side, and it caught Itto by surprise when Ushi pulled out a single rose, before looking back to the horizon again.

"Hah, well, it looks like my competition for my Y/N's love is back huh?" He smiled. "Have you got a speech of your own ready?"

Ushi looked at his owner unimpressed, nodding before laying the rose on top of Itto's present.

Behind them, Kuki Shinobu was standing, feeling ever so empathetic for the two souls that seem to have lost their light.

The gang has been like her family, including you, even if you weren't around as often as the other members, you were the one that always made her comfortable, you were witty but also a fun person to be around with. If it weren't for you telling her that her path should be hers to choose on the day her mother forced her to go to the Grand Narukami Shrine, she would have never ended up with such amazing people.

She looked behind her, where Akira, Genta, Mamoru stood.

"Looks like we're going to Watatsumi Island."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

There'll be a part 2, just don't know when ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wrote this in very small increments over the course of two weeks, and the last part I literally wrote when I'm laying in bed at 3 am with 10% battery.

Itto (phobia of onikabuto)

When he saw your face decomposing under his eyes and the large shape of the insect he held in his hands, he turned pale.

He woul'd put it down right away, hesitating a bit because he knew it could get away, but you were his priority.

Itto would first ask you what was wrong, maybe it wasn't because of the onikabuto, but when you tried to move away from where he had placed it it was clear.

So he would try to understand what caused you to act that way when you saw them.

He would ask you little questions about past experiences and if you were uncomfortable he'd make jokes about the bugs, saying that they couldn't do anything to you and that they were harmless.

Itto would propose exposure therapy, depending on the face you put on it he would understand whether or not it is a good option.

But he'd definitely try to help you learn how onikabuto fights work and see that it's impossible for you to take any damage.

Diluc (thalassophobia)

He took you for a walk around the Dawn Winery after a date in town, at his bar more precisely.

Diluc noticed immediately when you passed by the side of the lake, you were not comfortable at all. He'd ask you about it.

The moment you explain it to him he would take you by the hand and change direction, walking now towards the vineyards again.

In his mind some wires connected, about how you squeezed his hand tighter when going over the Mondstadt bridge, how you always make excuses if someone invites you to swim in the lakes and how hard you tried not to do activities like fishing.

It had been a sunny day, too sunny you'd say. The sun was blazing its rays down upon inazuma, serving as a reminder to how with each passing day you found summer nearing. Frankly, you weren't looking forward to it. There were good and bad aspects: The good part is that business will be booming with more people who want to have something fresh and sweet to cool them down. The bad side? You worked at a protein stall, it was filled with fruits from inside and outside of Inazuma, however the ones from the country were without a doubt the best, being fresh and all. Point is though; you have to do a lot of back and forth to transport these fruits from Ritou to Inazuma city, and it isn't easy.

Luckily for you, you were spotted by Itto.

He and his crew were standing around by the docks of Ritou watching boats come and go, trying to think of anything they could do. Itto had been suggesting ideas but the reception has only been either disappointed faces or repeatedly re-stating that they had already tried that.

"What about another festival? This time, we'll have the Ultimate Epic Onikabuto Tournament!! Ehh??" Itto suggested but their reaction is no different than the previous one. Akira pipes up, likely with a rebuttal, "Boss, we couldn't even get the papers last time!" Itto gives a grin as though he had expected this. Yes, of course a true genius such as himself would've thought ahead.

"Ah-ah, We have Shinobu." He tuts, wagging his finger. "But Boss- Shinobu is too busy with exams!" Genta adds on, and maybe he wasn't that much of a genius as the Oni's face merely drops at the realisation, his mouth forming into an 'o' shape like it hadn't crossed his mind once beforehand. He curses under his breath, snapping his fingers as he tries to think of something else and to his luck, he does, pointing his finger upwards as though his eyes had been opened.

"Well, what if-" His words trail till his voice eventually dies down and his eyes seemingly look past the gang and towards something else, someone else. It was you. You two had come to be quite familiar with each other as soon as you came to Inazuma as he and his gang visited your stall often at the market and have attempted to recruit you a couple of times, although one could see how that's gone. He thought you would've made a great addition with your personality and despite how you mostly just live your day to day life as anyone would he had witnessed you fight at times, and, honestly, it drew him in. It felt as though you were on a stage, capturing his attention even when you had no intent of doing so. But this isn't about that!

You were moving a cart filled with the new storage you had ordered for the stall, but it seems that to your dismay you had forgotten just how long the staircases were. Your face turned bitter as your gaze lifted up, watching as the stairs only extended further and further.

It's not like he doesn't know you could take the other path, but you seemed too fatigued! Plus, this was the perfect opportunity! He'd show you just why you should join the Arataki Gang! "Boss? Boss??" "Do you think he fell asleep standing up?" "With his eyes open?! Creepy…" The rest of the crew conversed amongst each other as to the cause of Itto's blanking out only to be interrupted by the thunderous clasping of his hands.

"Alright, Gang! Our mission is to recruit," He outstretched his arm, finger pointing to your figure "Them!". They were going to remind him that this hadn't been the first time they had attempted to, but seeing the determination glistening in his gaze, they opted against it. Still he didn't fail to acknowledge their original response. "C'mon guys! I know they miiight have refused a couple of times but they just don't know what they're missing out on! We're the Arataki Gang, we don't just stop at no!"

And this is probably why they needed Shinobu, because now they were all walking towards you with confidence and excitement, hyping each other up. It was the peak essence of the Arataki Gang.

You don't fail to miss the overzealous presence that grows closer and when you face the location it arose from you weren't the slightest bit surprised at the discovery. As always it seems that the crew were up to something astounding or unusual, or both. Is what you assumed.

"Hey hey, compadre! Seems like you're in a tough spot." The Oni starts, greeting you with a wide grin on his face as he chuckles. He's quick to close the gap between you two, standing relatively close to you. "Ah, Hey Itto." You reply dryly, staring at the others in acknowledgement. "Shinobu isn't with you today?" You ask, noticing the lacking presence of a certained green-haired rebel. She was the only real sensible one so when she's not here it's hard not to notice.

He rolls his eyes, an arm on his hip as he uses his other hand to make overly exaggerated gestures. "Well, we invited her to join us but she said that she was 'busy' being 'productive'." Curling his fingers as he air quotes. "Pssh, it's whatever, we don't need her!" Disregarding how clearly offended he was by her 'abandoning' the group. All you do is giggle at usual behaviour. It was always nice to see him just being himself every day, it made you feel like even if everything went to hell he'd always stay the same.

"Either way, don't you worry about this cart! We'll take care of this one." We? Take care of the cart?? Wait, what.

You didn't get a chance to indulge in idle chit chat with the rest of the crew nor did you have time to process what he said before having the handles pulled away from you, looking forward only to see that the crew was beginning to lift the cart from each side. Your alarms were beginning to go off.

"Itto- What's this?? Really, there's no need for- Oh god." You could barely let yourself finish a comprehensive sentence. You didn't know how to feel about this. An arm slithered around your back, the hand on your shoulder pulling you closer. "Heyy, don't worry about it! The Arataki Gang is here to handle everything!" He reassured, patting your back as you nervously watched the rest climb the stairs slowly. This didn't seem smart, most of Itto's ideas weren't despite his good intent.

"Itto, I don't think-" You started but the sound of multiple items tumbling down the multiple staircases all at once cut you off and as you watched all the vegetables and fruits fall down, getting bruised with each drop, you just covered your mouth in shock, unable to fully comprehend what you saw or what it meant for you.

Despite the sound that had put both you and Arataki into a frozen state while the others kept climbing without looking back, it appeared the noise had fallen onto deaf ears. You made a mental note to suggest they go get that checked out. Only when reaching the top as they set the cart down did Genta comment, "Wow, Boss! This cart was really ligh- Oh." The silence was deafening as they had witnessed exactly why the cart had lost most of its weight on the climb up.

Passersby who were around to witness what happened merely felt pity for you. But Itto? Itto just felt guilty as he peered over at you to see you practically on the verge of tears. This wasn't what he wanted.

He raises his hands up as he tries to calm you down, "Hey! It's all okay- We'll handle it, trust me!" He stutters over his words nervously trying not to push you over your limit. Dense as he may be he knows he's messed up and as he looks around trying to ponder what to do, he starts picking up the fallen produce, his crew quickly rushing down the stairs and helping him.

You weren't upset. Sad, and somewhat exhausted? Yes, very much so. But you wouldn't take it out on them knowing they didn't mean to cause this. Still, you couldn't help the heavy sigh that leaves your mouth and it makes Itto's guilt weigh heavier on him. "Guys, it's fine," You reassure, stepping closer to aid them. "Things happen. Just leave it be, I'll take care of it." You're stopped on your path as Itto stares at you, in a way it was threatening. Cradling the bruised fruits in one arm as his other latches onto your shoulder, keeping you in place. There was a firm expression on his face. "No," He states. "This is my fault. I'll take care of it." He turns his head back towards the others. "You guys too, as well. It was my idea. Leave it to me."

You were about to retort before the rest of the gang did it for you, and you must admit they did it better than you could've. They had more of a solid reason compared to you as well, after all, they were a team.

"No way we're leaving you to it all alone, Boss!"

"Yeah, we're a gang, we stick together!",

"That's right, Boss! You know that best!"

They all spoke their thoughts, encouraging one another and Itto mainly as they maintained their ideology. Truthfully, you admired the gang's connection and commitment to one another. You believed that to have them be so passionate about this showed how good of a leader Itto was despite his few flaws. You were glad he had such good understanding people with him, and you were glad for them too.

An airy chuckle leaves the large man, his shoulders that before were sunken down like he had just been scolded raised back high as confidence seemed to seep back to him. It appears that he could always rely on them to snap him out of his concerns. "If you want to help me then I have something else you could do for me!" He peeked over at you, scanning your expression for any sign of resentment before turning his head to fully face you, relieved to be proven wrong.

With a bow he clasps his hands above his head, asking for your forgiveness as he makes a promise to compensate you, "I swear on the Arataki Gang's deep history that we will repay you for all the fruit!" The face of astoundment said it all. You doubted it. Severely. Not because you didn't take his word for it, but it's a lot of effort to put in. And you also weren't sure just how deep the history was.

"Uhm, Boss?" Mamoru steps all the way down, standing behind Itto. "I don't think we have that much mora…" He whispers into his ear. Right. Mora. Damn, society these days, always about mora! He snaps his fingers. And rather than it being a way to curse the blockage that had come onto their path, it switched a light bulb above his head.

He ecstatically widens his arms, forgetting the fruits in his hands as they fall once more, repeating the torture they had experienced before. You wince at the sight and so does he murmuring a small 'sorry' before resuming, "Then we just go and get them ourselves!" To this, a 'what' was said in unison by everyone, all except him. Hell, if it was that easy you wouldn't have been so damaged by the event that had occurred before you, no, you'd be on your merry way to pick some new fruits.

One thing you did know though, and you realised as soon as you laid eyes upon his face, was that there was no way you could persuade him. Itto wasn't easily swayed when it came to making up to people. He stuck to his words, an Oni never lies as he says. Albeit the bitter situation, you felt a tinge of happiness in your heart and a smile slipped onto your lips, your eyes narrowing onto his appearance in delight.

And he notices this. He notices it and he never forgets it like it had engraved itself into his mind. The wrinkles around your eyes, how your lashes curled in their own respective directions,, the glimmer in your orbs and the light that reflected off them, the slight soft arch of your brow. He doesn't forget them. Not even the curve of your lips, or the small tilt of your head.

When it came to you, he became more observant than usual, and he noticed things others wouldn't, but he wasn't aware that this could make him realise things about himself. In this moment he begins to feel something weighing on his heart, but this time it wasn't guilt. It was something very different.

Within that strange emotion he found a stronger drive to repent as soon as possible in hopes of seeing you smile at him that way again.

–

You were originally worried sick about what you were going to tell the boss, it had been all you could think about as you observed the others cleaning up at the boat docks, not wanting to leave them alone. But soon after taking care of the mess they had quickly left, departing after repeating once more that they'd bring you all that they damaged.

You appreciated the intention, but you didn't get why or how they thought they'd do it. Inazuma was filled with large land and some of the storage you had was exclusively grown outside of here, so unless they also had ordered the same exact shipment you couldn't see it happening. A sigh escapes your lips, you'd get wrinkles at this point. There wasn't much you could do about it other than pray to the Archons that something may save you from the wrath you felt was bound to come when you attended work.

It was difficult to think up a good excuse to tell your boss. I mean, this would be bad for the business. Really bad. You can't just lose the stock you need, there is only so much left and at this point you should just issue another order as soon as possible and try to make do with what you had.

Pondering about it wouldn't help you, you reminded yourself as you stayed seated on the stool of a local Inazuma restaurant, an empty glass next to you with only some small snacks for you to nibble at. The place had dim orangeish lighting, the wood was dark almost that of something you'd find in a cabin. You'd think this place would be bustling with people but in contrast it was rather quiet. It somewhat reminded you of that Tavern in Mondstadt.

You had known a couple of things about wine and alcohol due to the course you took having included it. You were beginning to wonder if maybe you should change your career path, go for something else. Mondstadt was the city of freedom after all, therefore those who stay there must be living in the land of the free.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the door swinging open, the jingle of the bell indicating the arrival of a customer. The one who entered was a long white-haired Oni you were immensely familiar with and you were more than certain was here for you as his eyes searched around till they located your figure, the smile making its way onto his lips as his eyebrows raised in excitement, verifying your hunch.

"There you are! I knew you'd be here." He exclaimed, taking a seat beside you despite his intent to only fetch you and get back on the road. "You did?" You ask. It wasn't like you often came here, you thought he must've asked around. You wonder what it must have been like. "Betcha. My Oni senses are never wrong!"

Now that was a new one. You gave him a smug smile before repeating what he had said, "Oni senses?" His face inches closer to you, "They're real." He quickly replied, a serious glint in his narrowed eyes as though this had not been the first time someone had questioned its authenticity. "Sure, sure," You disregarded it, giving him the belief he desired. You weren't sure you wanted a whole adventure just to discover if it's true or not.

"So, what is it that you wanted?" You inquire, assuming that he had been searching for you for a reason. "Awww, come on, bud! Do I need a reason to visit my favourite person?" Itto nudges you with a smirk. Favourite? You didn't know that. You knew you were somewhat close, you suppose, and he asked you to join the gang but to think you were his favourite. No, you're just over complicating things.

"I don't suppose you randomly decided to come visit your so-called favourite person for no reason now, do I? You're always up to something, Itto." He bites his bottom lip, pouting at your words, resting his head on his knuckles. It's true he always had something planned, but to think you didn't believe he'd be here just for you… it was kind of frustrating.

"Well, there is a reason for me coming here -But that doesn't mean I wouldn't come here just to see you!" His words are added on quickly so you don't have time to give a rebuttal or that cocky look he knew would've come otherwise.

There was more he wished to say, so much, but only one slipped out, and if he hadn't said it himself he wouldn't have even realised he had spoken at all. "I would come visit just to stare at you.." It's a mumble under his breath, muffled by the hand that partly covered his mouth, and as he whispers he isn't sure if he wants you to hear or not. He steals a glance at you, searching for a reaction, but you still have that smirk. Maybe you didn't hear…

He feels disappointed.

You notice the furrowing of his brows, though before you inquire as to why he seemed so bothered he had straightened his back, returning back to having that carefree smile you've become all too familiar with. "Now are you going to keep me waiting or what?!" He hops off the stool and gestures for you to join him and you hurriedly pay for your items before departing from the restaurant with Itto beside you.

–

"Seriously, where are you taking me?" You asked him again for what felt like a thousand times, hoping he'd finally told you. You knew the path, you often took it to get to work but you weren't sure why he'd need to have you go all the way here now. It didn't seem like you two were browsing the markets or stalls but rather Itto was specifically guiding you somewhere and as the streets of Inazuma City got more and more crowded you felt something large clutching onto your wrist. "Don't get lost behind!"

His hand was wrapped securely around your wrist, and you were grateful for his size seeing as he was able to see where he was heading much better than you did. Pulling your arm back to intertwine your hand, you felt more secure now that you could actually hold onto him properly, and you thought that maybe he felt the same considering how after the momentary hesitation he displayed, he held back even tighter. Every once in a while he'd squeeze your hand as if asking you if you were holding up and you'd merely reciprocate the gesture, answering him.

Luckily, thanks to his guidance you made it out of the crowd quicker than expected. You intended to wonder why there had been so many people but it appears the Oni before you was too excited to let you have that. "Come on, don't get distracted!" He pulled on your hand a bit reminding you of what you were here for and you merely gave him a nod, snapping out of your thoughts.

After a while he pauses, walking behind. "Alright, keep your eyes closed, 'kay?" Another hand laces its way over your eyes, blinding you. "Uhm, Itto, how am I meant to walk then?" To this you received a thunderous laugh in reply as though you had just about asked the dumbest possible thing. Which is impressive considering its the ever so dense Itto.

"That's what I'm here for!" He clarified, and you wanted to trust him, you did, but accompanied by the fact that you'd be looking like a lunatic to everyone around you, you felt somewhat embarrassed and he picked up on it. "Hey, don't worry about anyone else."

You feel the warmth of his breath hit the outer shell of your ear as he whispers, his voice evidently having softened. "You can't see them, they can't see you, right? Just focus on me, The Great Arataki Itto!" To this you let out a light giggle and he's content with that. Yeah, he can be fine with all of this.

He enjoys just being in your presence, being able to hold you like this, to be so close to you, to be just the comforting loud Itto you and many others know. Maybe you'll never realise how he feels. Still, he'll try. Someone as great as you should be made aware of it.

"Don't keep me waiting. Let's get going, Itto!" You nudged him out of his thoughts as you chuckled and he focused back on your figure. He should be living in the moment rather than getting caught up in such cheesy ideas. "You ready?" "Born ready." Yeah, you were going to be proven wrong. "Let's goooooo!" He yelled out, picking up your figure with ease, the arm behind your back supporting you as his hand reaches to keep your sights darkened.

All you feel is the slight hops as the wind hits your face as he runs, jumping down a short staircase as you let out a short yelp, bringing yourself closer to him as much as you can despite the little space left to do so, your actions only being recognised by his laugh and you could picture how he looks: his eyes shut, his already big smile widening more than you knew it could, how his hair frames his face. Sometimes you think Itto really is otherworldly entirely.

Eventually the running changes into small steps as you hear other whispered voices and Itto shushing them. The secure grip on you he has loosens as he slowly tilts your body, setting you down back onto the ground and you stumble back into his chest, relieved at the contact you didn't know you missed and an overwhelmed whine leaving you. "Don't tell me I was going too fast for you?" Your head tilts upwards to where the voice was coming from, feeling his well-structured chest behind you and slowly he removes his hands, revealing his face to you again. You smile.

"It's okay, many struggle to keep up with The Great Arataki Itto." Though he will slow down if it suits you better. Opening his eyes to gaze at you, the arm that stayed around your waist tightened ever so slightly at the sight of your smile. To be smiling at him so softly, he must be really lucky. The surprised expression he held warped into a reciprocated smile back, it wasn't wide as it normally was. In fact, it was barely noticeable. Though, his eyes held the real passion.

A cough interrupts the moment as you both glance over towards the source to see the Genta and Akira attempting to hide the smirks that grew at the sight, with Mamoru being the one to derail it, arm on his hip. He exchanges a knowing look with Itto and suddenly the Oni is no longer as quiet, seemingly having been reminded of the original intent.

"Right, right! The cart!" He exclaims, only for you to repeat, "The cart?" You tilt your head. "The cart!" The rest of the crew repeat simultaneously. OH. THE CART.

Somehow your eyes seemed to totally ignore the form that stood behind the crew. It was the very same cart you had been pushing earlier this morning, and to your surprise much like before, it was full. You wouldn't believe it. No, really, you couldn't, so you approached the cart and even felt the fruits and vegetables to verify that they were real and weren't made out of wax or something. You didn't think they'd poison your customers but you also did not know how far they'd go for you, and from this you could tell that they would go far.

"How even…?" You turned sideways, looking at the others puzzled. It was near impossible to get all of this done in a day, actually, it hadn't even been 24 hours! This didn't make sense, it was practically insane and yet here was the cart filled to the brim - it might've had even more than you needed. "Ehh? Whaddya think?" His arms raised outwardly, almost seeming like a prideful king. "Pretty neat, huh. We know." Confident as always as his hand finds home back on his hip, the other twisting as if to add flare.

Your confusion still wasn't answered, it only prevailed. "No, but really, how?? There is just no way this could be done in such a short time!" You began to question how far they went to get these, how much time, the struggle, I mean, this was no easy feat you knew that much. "Nothing is too far-fetched for the Arataki Gang!" His reply fell on deaf ears as you were too immersed, observing all the carts containments.

A chuckle leaves him and he approaches you, leaning down to you. "Maybe now you'll reconsider joining us?" You turn and you don't miss the corner of his lip lifted up into a smug smirk or how his eyes narrow down onto you as though he had you cornered. How could you deny them now after you've seen just how cool and incredible they are? "Tough luck, Itto."

You lightly hit his chest. "I'm thinking of going back to old Mond'." That's how.

And he didn't get it. He didn't get why you were still smiling without a single sign of sorrow or concern on your face. Why were you so relaxed when your words had been so… so painful to him? You see the confusion in his eyes, and you expect him to recover and encourage you, maybe say something about how his offer will always stand but he doesn't. Yes, he goes back to his go-lucky demeanour but you notice how it's slightly off. "What do you mean, compadre?! You can't leave us in the dust so abruptly!"

Pssh, what do they even have in Mondstadt? It's not even that great compared to Inazuma. Sure he's heard about the tails of their Archon, the city of freedom, blah, blah, blah, but when did you become interested in going there? "Pfft, I'm not leaving you in the dust. I've just been thinking…" You lean your back against the cart, holding onto a sunsettia, rubbing it with your thumb. "Mondstadt was really beautiful when I last visited Dawn Wineries vineyard. And, I've been thinking that maybe it's finally time I try leading a different route in life."

The Oni absorbed all that you said like a dry sponge, he was picking at everything you said. Were you not happy with where you were, weren't you content? But what about the people you know here? "What about me?"

Shit. He didn't mean to say that aloud.

Itto straightens his back and rubs the back of his hair as though dismissing what he himself said but you noticed the weight that question held. The face you, and only you, got to see. You don't think you've ever seen a face so tense. You felt like he was pleading with you, his crimson eyes penetrating you, reading you so clearly and you begin to question if you had underestimated Itto all this time. You cocked your head to the side, "Will you miss me?"

You were regarding the others behind him who were obviously aware of the conversation going on but were leaving out of respect for privacy.

Miss you… He repeats the question in his head, pretending to ponder it, to not blurt out what he thinks then and there. Itto looks back to see you two were alone and when he faces you again the expression he wears is sombre. "Let's go somewhere else, why don't we?" He gives you a hum, raising a brow at you and offering you a small simper hoping to dismiss what occurred, and although you agree to go elsewhere you wouldn't let it go.

–

You observed as Itto hopped from rock to rock, nearing the shore. He moved effortlessly, you shouldn't be surprised with his build. He turns you, urging you to hurry down and you do, latching onto the hand he offered you when you make it to the bottom. The two of you roam around the beach for a while before finding a shelter where you could sit and savour the view. That is, as much as you can with the atmosphere.

The white- haired Oni had been trying to smooth out the tension but you couldn't let it go. You didn't want to turn a blind eye and move on past it like it was nothing. You get that you leaving can be a big deal but you didn't like how he avoided his own emotions, it felt like he was hiding something from you.

As for him, he wanted to just relish in the few moments he has before everything falls apart. He was glad he got to take your hand for a bit as you walked and was said when they were separated because he knew that would likely be one of the last few touches of yours he'll ever have.

"Itto, what is it that's weighing on your mind?"

You are the one to interrupt the silence. Awaiting his answer that you knew he already had prepared.

He debated lying to you, making up something else or just acting as though it really only was you moving away that made him behave strangely. But he couldn't find it in him to do that to you, to deceive you so shamelessly. "I.. don't want you to go." It comes out as kind of a question, towards himself that is.

There was a conflict going on inside Itto and he didn't know how to resolve it. He desired your happiness, your comfort, of course he did, you mattered greatly to him but he found himself wondering why must you find that elsewhere, why couldn't he be the one to offer you that. Should he support you in your endeavours or should he allow himself to be selfish?

At the end of the day though, it was your choice, you both knew that, but you were curious nonetheless as to the underlying reason of his want for your company, "Why do you want me to stay?" Your words were carefully picked out. You weren't asking him why he didn't want you to leave, but why you should stay in the first place.

And, unlike what you expected, his answer comes quick as though it had been decided ages ago.

You hear him say it, you know you do, but with how the sound of gentle ocean waves sway and hit the sandy shore with a sound and how the wind appears to sway in his direction, almost leading you. You think that his words are taken with it. But you saw how his lips moved, how he had clearly confessed what held him back to you in a solemn tone with an expression almost as if he had already given up.

"Because I like you."

It was pitiful and yet he still smiled at you. He thought that it's no way good for him to offer you such a sorrowful face when saying such a thing.

"I don't just like you, I love you, and, I'm reminded of it with every moment I'm with you. Even now, even when I feel horrible and like I'm trying to keep you to myself my heart beats for you relentlessly. I don't know what to do."

You were unaware of the predicament you had put him in. How all those moments you two shared were never something small to him in the end. The reality is, Itto was always aware of his feelings, but, he wanted to keep reminding himself that this was enough, that your friendship was more than enough. But he was never that great a liar, if he was, he wouldn't have told you the truth and you wouldn't be here.

A hand reaches for his shoulder. His heart drops. He doesn't want to look at your face, because this was already confirmation of his rejection, he knew it. You don't need to say it. Don't say it.

The swirling glimmer in his orbs are no longer from the twinkle he normally held but what appeared to be tears, glossing them. He blinks them away as to not allow you to see him like that and you swallow your guilt. You don't need to speak. You merely inch closer to him, replacing your hand with your head and despite how you feel him freeze up for a moment, he slowly rests his head atop yours and you stay there for awhile.

Before, you recall thinking that Itto would be the one person in your life that would always stay the same no matter how much time flies. You weren't aware that you'd be the one to change him.

• You opened your eyes startled by his shaking. You stared at him with a confused and scared look. "Itto what are you on about? Are you...crying?"

• He stops shaking you once you wake up "PFFT I'm not crying, I just uh got something in my eyes." He said as he let out a sigh of relief.

• He gets off you allowing you to sit up.

• You stretch as you cross your legs. Itto sits across from you in the same position.

• "You've been gone for a few days now...I've missed you. Where have you been? A commission?" He asks softly as he gently cups your face with his hands making you look at him

• You smile softly as you feel the warmth of his hands on your face. You think about how you should answer his question. Should you tell lie? Would he think you're weak if you told him the truth? You two have only been going out for around 3 months so you never brought up the fact you had depression due to how people close to you saw it as nothing but being lazy and weak.

• Itto saw a hint of worry in your expression and your hesitation "Hey... You know you can tell me anything right?" He leaned in kissing you on your forehead. He sat back in his original position "after all nothing like having the great ARATAKI ITTO hear you out and help you" he gave you a playful wink. He let go of your face and rested his hands on your shoulders.

• You giggled a little and let out a deep sigh well here goes nothing. "No, I wasn't gone on a commission...I've been here this entire time...I haven't felt like doing anything besides sleeping. It's just something that comes and goes once in a while " You say in a soft tone.

• "Huh? What thing? Also, you've been all alone for days?? AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!?!?!" He asked crossing his arms and letting out a playful scoff.

• You look down at your hands twiddling your thumbs "It's just a depression episode, sorry I didn't tell you...I just didn't want you to think I'm weak."

• He paused for a moment changing his playful demeanor into a serious one. He would never think you're weak he's a little hurt you would think that about him. "Y/N...Baby, I would never think that. If anything I think you're strong for still being here with me. If anything you're the strongest person I've ever met. You're always helping people out and never expect anything in return." He kisses your left cheek "So don't ever think that okay?"

• Tears building in your eyes you slowly nod and reply with a soft "Okay."

•Itto goes in for a kiss but you stop him with a hand to his lips. "No kisses, I haven't bathed in a few days nor have I brushed my teeth"

• He rolls his eyes "Well we should fix that huh? How about a nice relaxing bath together?" He gives you a wink as he wiggles his eyebrows.

• You giggle, playfully smacking his exposed bicep."Only if it's truly relaxing and nothing else"

• "Alright then, you'll get a super ultra mega relaxing hot bath and a special massage done by yours truly" He looks around your room seeing it's a bit messy "After our bath, I'll cook you some food and help you clean up a bit. how does that sound?"

• "That sounds amazing." You smile at him leaning in to kiss his cheek, as you lean in he turns his head so your lips meet. "Whoops would you look at that my head slipped to the side." He says grinning.

• "I'll get that bath started" Itto quickly gets up, before leaving he grabs one side of your face and pushes it towards him so that his lips meet your cheek. He places a big kiss, vocalizing the kiss "MWAH" He takes off running to your bathroom.

•Notcing your broken window you yell after him "Itto! You better fix that window!"

• All you heard was a "Nope" followed by him laughing

AN: A lil self insert. I know other people may have the same experience with this. I just got out of a month-long depressive episode so yaaay. Neway let's get on with it. (I came back to this draft after 2 months so i kinda cut it short at the end since i was out of ideas. :P)