#itspeak

it sucks and its also saddens me how much our parents actions can affect us as their children. like i hate how much my dad’s toxicity bothers me. It also makes prideful that I’m so much not like him. The way he talks and treats people he claims he loves I would never and I take pride in that. When it comes to people i love in this life, particularly women- I would never raise my voice at women i love. Especially at my age, theres really no  reason as an adult male to be screaming at the top of your lungs at a women. Maybe if your partner cheated lol or somethin but generally no. Be angry, sure, raise my tone, sure but I always catch myself and try to speak in a calm manner. Yelling literally gets you nowhere in an argument or conflict.  Its sad that at 25 I can see everything hes doing wrong and he doesnt . Financially and his business moves, I’ll aways admire and idolize and want to follow .  but besides that, I really want to be nothing like him. I guess the silver lining is I’, seeing how not to act . He always said how his dad was bad to him and how it affected him yet he cant see how hes jjust like  his father. I guess if i have kids its up to me to break that generational curse. it stay being us first gen diaspora kids that gotta deal with our parents trauma and toxic ass ways. we be the ones having to go to therapy cuz their ass didn’t go. 

It isn't until someone mentions they caught a flight from Dallas to Austin that I remember how vast Texas.