#itsnojida

Their breathing was still heavy. They were still mad. Very, very mad. They wanted nothing more than to tear this man into pieces---to teach him not to insult their lover. It would be so, so easy. Just a swipe of their blade, and this disgusting excuse of a man would be no more. But Chara was watching. They didn’t want him to see them like this.

Slowly, they exhaled.

Straightening their posture, the young adult shot one last glare at their victim before turning towards their lover. Their knife was safely sheathed.

“...Yeah.”

Without another word, they walked into the embrace Chara so easily offered. He didn’t say anything. No comment, no blatant reprimanding. Just warmth. Frisk was still sweating, and they dearly wanted to take a bath.

The walk back home was quiet.

Frisk found themself curled under Chara’s arm, their small body being guided all too easily by their tall lover. Usually, his vertical advantage bothered them. After all, being shorter than him typically caused them grief when it came to how people viewed their relationship. Namely when people thought they were siblings.

But Frisk found that the height didn’t bother them this time. They were too busy thinking about their slip up. They didn’t regret their actions. Not by a long shot. In their mind, that guy totally deserved it. What they did regret, however, was attacking someone when Chara had been trying so desperately to pacify them. He’s been nothing but sweet and encouraging to them. The least they could’ve done was restrained themself from attacking anyone.

And yet, somehow, they’d managed to screw that up.

They could feel their face begin to redden in shame, so they hugged themself closer to their datemate. He clearly didn’t mind, and even welcomed them, his hold on them tightening ever so slightly. That only made them feel worse.

The quietness was unbearable, and they found themself despising it as it continued on. Chara said nothing about the incident. He hasn’t spoken since they left, but they didn’t find that surprising, considering he was a man of few words. But the silence somehow felt like judgement, even if that wasn’t the case at all.

Suddenly, Chara’s gentle presence felt suffocating, his kindness and patience damning them. They wanted to remove themself in favor of simply walking side by side and hug them tightly for some sort of reassurance and never let go, all at the same time.

Instead, they remained as they were, and continued walking quietly.

Frisk felt like they were going to burst.

It’s been a couple weeks since the incident. No one talks about it. Especially not Chara. It’s as if nothing has changed, and it bothers them so much. The guilt of having disappointed their datemate made them want to scream. And Chara was disappointed. That much was obvious. He never said anything, sure, but his eyes held a certain look that spoke legions.

He probably wasn’t even that upset, because that’s not how he is. But they knew they’d let him down. He wouldn’t let it get him down or ruin their relationship, but he was very clearly sad about it. They’d known him long enough to recognize that.

But Frisk just couldn’t bring themself to do it. They couldn’t bring it up. The guilt made that nigh impossible. But the guilt wouldn’t be gone if they did nothing. They’ve just gotta… man up and own their mistakes. Chara would appreciate that, they were certain. He wouldn’t judge them. He hasn’t before.

Eventually, they resolved to apologize. Somehow.

Just another day. It was a calm Friday evening, and Frisk had found themself wrapped up in Chara’s warm embrace. He held them close in a way that made them feel fuzzy, like he never wanted to let go. Not to mention the occasional kisses and gentle caressing made these feelings feel even more intense.

Currently, they were watching TV together, wrapped up in warm, fluffy blankets. This was one of the few instances when Chara didn’t have a hoodie or turtleneck on---one of the few times in which their skin touched in so many places. Frisk was acutely aware of every place they touched, and it sent nothing but inexplicable euphoria throughout their body. They were certain they were as close as they possibly could be, and yet, they wished they could be closer still.

Nothing particularly interesting was playing on the TV, and if one looked at the way the couple curled around each other, they could easily tell that the TV was the last thing on their minds.

Yes, this evening was certainly calm. They supposed now was the perfect time to say something.

Tightening their grip around Chara, the brunette murmured in hushed tones, “...Sorry. For snapping that one time. I’m sorry.” They could only hope they sounded as genuine as they felt.

To their surprise, their lover merely leaned down to nuzzle them and hummed softly, “It’s okay. I forgive you. Just please don’t do it again. Okay?” His tone was like honey, and his response was immediate, as if he had been waiting patiently to hear these words escape their lips for weeks.

Frisk felt immeasurable relief. They hadn’t realized it, but they’d tensed, and even been holding their breath, as if expecting Chara to somehow not forgive them. It was dumb. They knew better. They knew he would forgive them no matter what they did. And somehow, that only made them feel worse. They didn’t deserve that kind of compassion and unconditional love. Not yet, at least.

They, however, wanted all too much to sink into Chara and let his serenity wash over them, let his soothing touch and gentle, tender love consume them. So, lifting their face to brush their lips across his cheek in such a soft kiss, they quietly conceded, “Okay. I promise.”

Truthfully, Frisk knew it would be a lot harder than that to stop their outbursts. They knew they couldn’t always control themself. They knew all too well that this was bound to happen again. But they also knew that Chara would forgive them again and again. The thought made the guilt return. They wanted to become better. They wanted to repay him in the one way they knew he wanted most. And even if they messed up again, they’d still try. They’ll continue trying until they get it right, and they can no longer disappoint their datemate.