#its ... idk

i.n ... 神메뉴 (200628)

and why can't you let her go? why is it so hard to just give her a moment, please? let her think, let her breathe, don't hover don't touch don't look PLEASE--you who have taken so much and who don't even care--never did never will and doesn't she know it hasnt she seen it?--who smiles and belittles and god what does she see in you this friend of hers, this companion so loved and cherished and who held her hand even as daddy left and mommy turned away and who made sure she knew, who made sure SHE UNDERSTOOD ALWAYS that daddy still loves you and mommy still cherishes you and its okay you can cry ill be right here for you always and forever. tell her please. make her understand. elena can she tell you? will you understand then? will you see it too? he held her down. he made her cry. he fed. he abused. he took everything that belonged to her --he stole, he took and he left her BROKEN FOR SUCH A LONG TIME. she saw the monster in the monster and there is nothing more terrifying than this truth, nothing more hideous. she carries the scars, the bites, and they will never go away--she will carry them and they will be the reminder of the time her body was not her own, where mind was locked away, unable to fight unable to scream to beg TO MOVE and it isn't right. it will never be right. but you carry on with your smiles and declarations of love and she knows she loves you elena but she can't forgive him and part of her is so ANGRY at you too elena because she doesn't understand--she doesn't get it. where was the girl who always held her hand, who defended her even in the worst of her mean girl throes, who told her she would always love her and protect her because they are family too you know? doesn't she see? she needed her. she needed her so desperately and she was gone. but she will move forward. move on. he does not control her future. he does not control her heart and her soul and her mind because all of these things are hers dammit and she will defend them with everything she is. you broke something and she put it back together because that is all you have left sometimes and maybe she will always carry that fear inside of her, maybe she will remember the soundless screams the blood on her pillow on her neck, the pain that never really left, but she continues to move forward. she will always move forward. and maybe she'll fall, maybe she'll wake up screaming and she'll be scared because she remembers you and so vividly too and maybe the pain will threaten to take over to wash her down into that whole of memory and dark and ugliness but you have no power anymore and she is caroline fucking forbes so she will survive and she will live her eternity beautifully. she will survive.