For those who feel guilty because of someone else’s choices, and that you couldn’t help them. For those that see the best in others and want to help them, lift them up, make them be who they say they want to be, help them heal and be that person who never gives up no matter what: sometimes you can’t do anything. You can try, but sometimes, the best thing you can do is stop enabling, and take care of yourself before this blame starts damaging how you view your own worth. You can’t give from an empty cup, which is what you will have left if you allow yourself to be depleted by someone who will take to the max without any regard for your well being. Yes, it actually is enabling, not helping, to take the blame and the weight of someone else’s choices over and over again if they don’t want to take responsibility for themselves. It keeps them from taking personal responsibility and from growing. If you feel they don’t love you, it’s not that they don’t, it’s that they don’t know how to love, including themselves. But you can’t make them choose to love themselves or make them choose to take steps to healing. You can be a step, a positive impact and positive loving mirror for them, but you can’t be responsible for all of their changes and healing. That’s a huge burden to carry on one person, and only one can truly make that kind of change. It can deeply damage you if you try to carry the weight of someone else who doesn’t want to make choices that lead to positive changes in their life.
Your everything will never be enough to someone who isn’t ready to or doesn’t want to be committed/who you see and know they can be/ doesn’t want to change. There will always be a reason for them to find someone else to blame if they aren’t ready to take responsibility for themselves. No matter what you do, what you say, it will not be enough for someone who isn’t ready, willing, or able. I’m not saying to give up on people, we all need people to be there through ups and downs; I’m just saying to realize when you are enabling rather than helping, and when your efforts are not making any impact other than enabling them and damaging you. Do what you can, but do not allow yourself to take all the blame. Let it go, and realize it is not your fault. ****Here are some true words from @TrentShelton that were part of the inspiration for this blog: https://www.facebook.com/LikeTrentShelton/videos/1056235761122390/
