#ithastobeclever

Okay, back to the establishing of their “romantic” relationship.

When Stiles and Malia are locked in the bathroom alone and Scott is being tortured by the calaveras, stiles is trying to coach Malia into using her abilites (this is his first attempt at anchoring her btw) and we get this piece of dialogue:

Stiles: Breathe with me, all right? You practiced this with Scott before, remember? Malia: I’m trying.Stiles: It’s okay, it’s okay. Just focus on something. Here, look at my eyes. Very good. Just focus on the sound of my voice. Anything you have to do to try to concentrate. Concentrate

Stiles tells her to do anything that might help her concentrate, and she surges forward and kisses him. Stiles looks totally taken aback. Like he wasn’t expecting that at all. Not a reaction you’d expect if this was your established girlfriend.

Also later after Malia runs off after the berserker, stiles is telling her off and berating her not to do that again. He genuinely thought she ran off and left them - why would she do that if she was his girlfriend? And why would he believe that? He’s also extremely surprised when she says she would never do that, and that she’d never leave him behind.

Stiles: No, I mean, like, I thought you were leaving.Malia: I wouldn’t leave without you.Stiles: Really? Malia: I would never leave without you.

If your established girlfriend told you she’d never leave you, your face would not look like this. it would look fond and lovesick. This is Malia flat out professing that she likes stiles like that. That stiles is the only one she’d never leave. She even flat out states that she’d leave the rest behind. It’s a declaration of love and it’s taking him by complete surprise. But even if you’re surprised, wouldn’t you look a little bit happy as well? if you liked her like that, that is…

In the next episode 4x02 we get the scene where Stiles complains to Scott about Malia sneaking into his bed in the middle of the night. It is implied this is a pattern (5 times the last week). There is no mention of kissing or sexytime, only spooning. Which is a comfort thing and doesn’t need to be romantic. Stiles’ demenour and body language indicates that he is not pleased with this. He looks frustrated and agitated.

Stiles: So it’s like 2 in the morning. I wake up and she’s just lying right next to me. She just sneaks in. This was like five times this week.Scott: And then what happens?Stiles: This (shows scott his back) Scott: Holy Yeah.Stiles: Right on, right? After that we spent the rest of the night spooning.Scott: That sounds okay.Stiles: Yeah, but I’m always the little spoon. Always.Scott: This means you guys are together, right? You’re dating? Stiles: I don’t know, sometimes the way she looks at me, I think she knows I’m not telling her something.Scott: You mean Peter? Stiles: We got to tell her, Scott.

The thing Stiles shows Scott on his back is what makes us assume they’re engaged in some kinky sex thing. Some might even remember Jackson mentioning how Lydia clawed up his back during sex. But we don’t see it, and it is never explained. Maybe Malia does claw him, but it’s because she’s having nightmares. Maybe Stiles is having nightmares and Malia tries to calm him and accidentally pops some claws? Maybe it’s because she’s holding him so tight it leaves bruises? All we can do is speculate.

Scott might even assume they’re having sex. He clearly assumes they are together and asks about it, something that stiles doesn’t confirm  or deny. Instead he changes the subject. And it’s changed to something he’s feeling guilty about - keeping a secret from her. and he should, because that is a really shitty thing to do, a lesson he learns later. Norice how it often comes back to this.

For someone who’s been so eager to loose his virginity one would assume he’d be gleefully oversharing with his BFF, but instead we’re left with a feeling that he’s not entirely happy. And scott is missing the point.

In episode 4x03 we get more examples of mentor stiles and pupil malia. The first is in the classroom where malia attempts to skip out on math and is called to the blackboard. Stiles is trying ot be supportive and receives a growl for his effort. This is not the face of a happy camper

Later at lacrosse tryouts stiles gets frustrated when Malia interfers. Not a proud boyfriend. Now is this because he is embarrassed to be together with her, or because he feels bad that she once again displays more interest in him than he has in her. Perhaps a bit of both, but Stiles does not strike me as a person who cares to much about what other people outside of his dad and the pack thinks of him, so i’m leaning towards the latter. But i accept both arguements can be valid.

Up until now we’ve had a lot of examples of how Stiles and Malia seem to be together or at least the people around them assume so, and also Malia cleary thinks so. But stiles has so far not instagated anything - she’s been in the driver’s seat, she’s been the one declaring her interest.

It’s not until the scene in stiles’ bedroom where he’s helping her study that we get the first sign that stiles is coming around. And it involves his color system.

At first Stiles is all business and malia attacks him. He’s surprised and gently pries her off, saying they need to study first and promises more of that later. he then asks about her color system and it’s more or less identical to his own (except no blue that is just pretty).

Stiles glanses at his board where some pieces of his thread system is still hanging limply

This scene has been picked apart before, and since the focus is on stiles and malia i won’t get into a longwinded argument over what goes through his mind. But he’s reminded of his own system and probably realizes malia isn’t so unlike him and pretty great. It is also noticable that the photo that catch our eye is Derek. I do think Stiles sees that as well, and is reminded of him. But, as i will get back to later, this is the season of denial and supression for Stiles and i think this is the moment he decides to give the relationship with malia a go.

I have written many metas this season on the topic of Stiles being something. There have been more examples and more noticable than earlier. But he’s also done his best to hide it, and even though i think he knows at some level that is something he’s hiding and is hesitant to admit and show to the people around him. Once again cupid did some great meta on how Stiles’ spark and bisexuality are both in the closet and these storylines run parallel.

I think stiles is supressing both because of his dad and also to an extent scott. The sheriff has previously rather harshly shut down Stiles’ claim that he might be gay. He’s shown again and again that he doesn’t fully trust him and turns to scott instead for confirmation. To stiles it might seem as if he prefers scott over him, scott is the ideal son for his dad and scott is straight.

The sheriff is also visibly frustrated by the supernatural. This is evident in every confrontation with it, and is another thing that might hold stiles back from coming to terms with and showing people what he can do.

Stiles likes Malia. Stiles knows Malia likes him. And Stiles wants to be normal. He wants his dad to trust him like he trust scott. So he makes a choice. And because Malia is so much like him it’s not really a hardship. I honestly think stiles feels attraction to her as well.

So stiles goes for it.

episode 4x04 is the one where Stiles anchors Malia in the basement of the lakehouse during the full moon. But before that we get this little scene in his bedroom where they are both sitting primly on his bed trying on shackles and his dad walks by

It’s actually a scene that is somewhat funny on the surface but kind of sad underneath. Once again the sheriff shakes his head and professes “he doesn’t want to know”. And i believe him. He’d rather not know about the supernatural, but is stuck with it. And stiles is probably at least partially supernatural himself and it’s another rejection by proxy.

Stiles is hasty to point out that “it’s not what you think” - referring to the implications of sex. And i believe him. So far there is little that suggest these two ravage each other - the door to his room is even open.

I think it’s time to make a point about sexual relationships in teen wolf. Because the show is not shy about showing that. When a relationship progresses to that point, they always include scenes that makes it clear what is going on.

Scott and Allison fool around on her bed half naked. Scott only has one condom left in his stash.

Lydia and Jackson in bed post sex cuddles, lots of references to sex

Derek and Jennifer mind whammy rape scene

Danny and Ethan motel sexy times

Allison and Isaac post sex the next morning, talking about it in the car the next day

Scott and Kira - not had sex yet, but their makeout session before Kate crashed to take them to church (still chortling over that btw) was very suggestive and sensual.

Derek and Braeden - but passionate makeout scenes and in bed scantily clothed

We’ve had no such scene with Malia and Stiles. The closest we got was in Eichen House in 3x20, and it’s debatable whether that went all the way. Given how stiles has cared about condoms before and how they was lying fully clothed when we returned i don’t think it went all they way. But even if it did, i don’t see any evidence that it has happpened since.

I’m gonna skip the anchor scene in the basement, it’s not really romantic per say anyway - that is more mentor!stiles at play.

We have no scenes with Stiles and Malia in episodes 4x05 and 4x06. Next up is 4x07 Weaponized. And this is the episode where Stiles’ lies by omission catches up with him and Malia learns she is supposedly a Hale.

Malia is sick and Stiles is actually being a good boyfriend here taking care of his girl. But also keeping secrets and tricking her into opening the vault (we don’t know if any wolf claws would do the trick and i find it weird that she with her were-hearing didn’t catch what they were whispering about, but i digress).

After they’ve been cured Malia finds the list and the trust between them are broken. She breaks the anchor bond by removing his hand. (i’ve written about hands as symbols for anchors here)

He reaches out to assure she’s okay

She removes the hand

and walks away

This signals their first breakup.

In episode 4x08 we get either a dream sequence or a flashback in stiles’ bed. He’s lying awake tossing and turning, and then Malia is suddenly there, annoyed because he’s being a little spaz. Stiles complains that he can’t sleep unless he’s in the middle - the underlying message being Malia is not all that welcome in his bed.

I always sleep in the middle of the bed - Not anymore answers Malia and Stiles sighs out a frustrated “I know, i’m trying” - He’s trying to make the relationship with Malia work, he really wants it to. But it doesn’t fit right.

After some more spazing Stiles still can’t sleep unless he’s in the middle of the bed so Malia suggests they spoon. Stiles is the big spoon.

But for all his complaining about being the little spoon this doesn’t suit him either. He literally spazzes away from it.

I see this as a clear sign that Stiles is not the driving force in this relationship. Malia has the stronger feelings, stiles is trying to make it work, but he’s not comfortable being “in charge” and the one to fully envelop malia into his life and his heart.

But he’s not comfortable turning his back on Malia either. He feels responsible for her and he likes her and wants her in his life. So Malia suggests she’ll be the big spoon.

And this is what works best for Stiles. He’s still not fully at ease and comfortable, but he can work with that. His exact words are

Stiles: I think this is good

Not a great declaration of love. And something that is echoed later when they make up. He can work with this. This is okay, but Malia is the one in charge and the one with the deeper feelings.

But Malia isn’t really there. And for all the fact that Stiles is not as invested as she is, he does miss her. But what is it he’s missing most - the perfect front? His mentor role? Or the girlfriend? Maybe a combination of all. But it’s clear this is not a whirlwind romance.

We do get an actual scene between them towards the end of the episode. Malia comes to Stiles not to get back together, but to address the topic of Peter and the possibility of her being like him - a killer. Stiles tries to reason and comfort but doesn’t really get through.

She leaves the third deadpool list and puts it on his new murder board with a red tape - the red string of fate. The name that broke the list was Derek. We see stiles focus on it, it zooms in with focus on derek’s name and then the scene cuts directly to derek opening his eyes. This is foreshadowing a different relationship that is changing for stiles but he’s not ready to admit to it.

There is no stalia interaction in episode 4x09.

In episode 4x10 Stiles and Malia finally talk in the hospital after the door is mysteriously locked (or maybe not so - i believe stiles did that).

Malia appears aloof and disinterested, but the fact that she came looking for him tells us she misses him. Stiles uses the opportunity to apologize to her for the lies and not telling her about Peter. Do i think Stiles does this because he’s head over heels in love and misses her like crazy? No. I don’t.

Stiles has just done “something” again and i think he realized this (breaking the restraints at eichen house) and is inching closer to the moment where he cannot hide it anymore. This runs parallel with his bisexual arc of which he had a reminder with the gif above. I know others have written meta on this before - how Malia appears as his beard. She is everything he thinks his dad and Scott approves of. And he’s also feels guilty about how he’s treated her, and stiles likes malia and wants them to be friends again.

Malia forgives him and proclaims she likes him. Stiles replies “i can work with that”. Hardly romantic. In fact it’s the exact opposite and stiles my friend you are doing it again. Lying and not being truthful. You’re hurting yourself and Malia. She’s way more into him and surges forward to kiss him.She grabs his face, holds on.

Normalcy has been restored. Stiles once again presents a perfect front.

The rest of the episode is Stalia the detective duo finding the deadpool computer at the lakehouse (and stiles once again showing signs of being something).

Episode 4x11 gives us two interesting scenes. Both in Stiles’ bedroom. Malia seems to have snuck in again and is trying to get stiles out of bed to take her to school. He’s not interested.

She gets grumpy until she sees that stiles has exchanged the question of who is the benefactor to “who is the desert wolf” and she rewards him with morning breath kisses. The scene is cute, but still does not give off sexual vibes. I think their relationship is still at the spooning and makeout stage.

Later we get another scene with stiles and malia studying, him at the desk she on the bed. the sheriff walks in through the open door (no secret sexing going on) and invites them to dinner. Stiles appears pleased, over the moon. He’s being a good son with a nice girlfriend that his dad approves of. And then malia plumps out something “wild” like saying she likes deer. He immediately corrects her to “pizza”.

This once again tells the story of how stiles is holding up a front.

Episode 4x12 is not heavy on the stalia, but tips in the favor of sterek. Stiles and Derek is once again interacting and they’re falling into old banter, silent communiction with eyebrows and facial expressions, finishing each other sentences and working together in sync to anchor Liam. It’s in stark contrast to how hard Stiles works at his relationship with Malia. His interactions with Derek flows naturally.

Many before me have picked apart those scenes, but i’ll just include this little moment of realization for stiles. That is the face of a guy who is coming to terms with feelings and thinks it’s too late. There will be fallout from that.

Derek went through his own personal bardo this season and came out the better for it - evolved and at peace. Stiles is still floundering around in his. Kira told us we can be visited by deities in bardo, both friendly and not. Braeden was Derek’s deity and despite suspicions (also on my part) she turned out to be a friendly one who helped him break the circle of destructive and abusive relationships. The entered into it on equal terms, both in agreement it was something casual. Stiles has entered a relationship on false terms - Malia is invested and has feelings stiles is not reciprocating. Malia might turn out  an unfriendly deity unless stiles comes clean with her soon. He’s lied once already. And she’s already jokingly threatened to kill him - it might just be foreshadowing.

Stiles’ spark and bisexuality might just blow up like an atom bomb - he sure has been pictured next to it. And when the time comes that he’s willing to admit to it, or it boils to the surface without him meaning to, he will need to be anchored as well. We were disappointed we didn’t get ac callback to the anchor scene from 3b. I think we will but it will be reverted. Derek will be anchoring Stiles.

The last stalia scene of the season is another comic relief scene that underneath is sad and heartbreaking. Stiles is left alone handcuffed to the desk while the sheriff takes malia out to dinner. He’s rewarded with solitude and hunger for saving his friends, risking his life, trying to include his dad and being truthful. I don’t know what stiles has done to earn this distrust from the sheriff, but it’s no wonder he’s feeling anxious about his reactions. As much as i love the stilinski feels, they are breaking my heart.