#it will return

Funny enough the next chapter will be uploaded tomorrow 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Hi Nonnie... No problem and no need to be embarrassed. This is why I opened my ASK box so people, like yourselves that just want someone to chat to and perhaps feel these are conversations they can’t have with their friends or family. It’s completely ok to ask so never feel TMI.

Your question is in fact incredibly timely and appropriate because I too have been struggling. So here’s what I understand / know.

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The brain has an incredibly hard job to do and right now, it’s trying to digest all sorts. We’re currently in a pandemic, struggling with income as well as seeing a lot of content online. Tbh, I think all of us are overwhelmed right now and understandably so. We’re angry, hurt and ultimately low in mood and that’s ok to feel like that right now. I imagine there are a lot of people out there that are experiencing their range of depression, anxiety and stress for the first time. In short... it’s tough right now.

The thing is, when we are in low mood our brain doesn’t work in the way it should. Our happy endorphins are low, and our brain is struggling to produce the quantity we would normally have, meaning that these happy hormones are fewer in our blood stream than normal.

“The brain is important for sexuality because of the chemistry, but it’s also important for ideas. It helps how you experience pleasure and how you define it.” - Russell Stambaugh, PhD

Some may experience not wanting to masturbate or have sex at all, while others do have the libido for it but can’t reach climax... or if they do... it’s just a bit disappointing and not as fulfilling as we’d like.

And while we can be on medication (be herbal or medicinal) to increase these hormones, they’re actually likely to inhibit circulation of our hormones around the body. In short...

This is completely normal and you’re not alone.

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Ways to combat this.

Help the Mind.

It’s important to accept your current state of mental wellbeing. Accepting it will be hard but more importantly, it will help you to understand yourself.

Figure out why you feel this way. If it’s since quarantine, it’s likely because the things that would normally bring you joy (the outdoors, good weather, friends, family) are currently restricted from your normal routine.

Look into this, and of course if you feel you need help, reach out to a health care professional. 

I would recommend looking into CBT techniques, using apps like Calm and taking time out for yourself and find something that will bring you joy everyday.

Supplements.

I personally have been taking supplements for over 10 years but when I needed to change my birth control, I was recommended by my Gyny 2 additional ones to add to my already extensive list.

Maca and Ceylon Cinnamon.

Both are great for libido health but also regulating hormones. It helped me in my birth control transition but I also noticed my period becoming lighter, my libido skyrocketed and overall vaginal health was much better.

Maca is identified as an aphrodisiac but also reduces stress, boosts fertility and stamina. Cinnamon helps with bacterial and fungal infections as well as blood sugars and circulation. This is applicable to everyone.

Obviously, research this before you take these and ensure you’re ok to do so with a doctor.

Open up to your partner.

If you’re with someone, talking to your partner about these issues will help. It will reduce expectations on yourself when together, plus it’ll let them know that you might not want to be as sexually active for a little while.

Remember, these are ok and you shouldn’t be forcing yourself to do anything you don’t want to nor feel guilty about not wanting to participate in sexual activity.

There are other things you can do intimately together besides sex. Rediscover these together. They can be as simple as brushing your hair, face masks and bath time together, an indoor date night, a massage and simple make-out without expectations.

It also helps because it can lead to my next suggestion.

Sex products.

There are products you can use that’ll help you return back the the incredible ‘O’ you need but you firstly need to be patient and not expecting on yourself. Introduce these when you’re ready to return to being sexually active.

These are things like stimulating gels and sex toys. They provide the body with new sensations that are different from previous experiences, heightening your sensitivity. As a note, I personally find some stimulating gels a little aggressive on my sensitive areas so explore other places to use them too if you discover the same thing.

Again, introduce these in masturbation sessions either on your own or with a partner. Remember, these sessions do not have to lead to penetrative play unless you want to.

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Ultimately though Nonnie, you are not broken and you are not alone. I’m pretty sure there are plenty of people experiencing this too right now so thank you for asking. Remember to reach out to professionals when you need it.

Here’s a few links that might be useful for you.

Healthline

HuffPost

WebMD