#it was amusing

new rule for my job if you're a group of yanks ordering more than 1 drink per person I'm not splitting your bill. pay me 20% tip too so you feel at home. if you suggest using USD I'm breaking the glass over your head

I'm currently working at a quilting store, and I find it very funny when an elderly couple comes in to look for fabrics and you can immediately tell that the wife is on a holy crusade in the name of quilting and the husband has been called to be her humble squire

i’m always shocked whenever someone describes me as physically flexible. like. i’m just moving :) bendy :)

had to be taken home from group bc im severely ill and as we were driving back the only other passenger in the van was like "are we dropping the female off first" and i, still possessing a sense of humor and an instinct to make men afraid, elicited my classic shark grin and echoed "the female??" which made everyone immediately awkward & uncomfortable