Apologies to all my Undertale mutuals once again. My phone is dead, I don't have the brain power to focus on my research paper anymore, and I just finished doom scrolling. The result? You're gonna hear me scream into the QSMP void about Guapoduo and Doied.
Spoilers for some recent Q!Roier Lore I suppose.
I AM LOSING MY MIND. I AM LOSING MY MIND. I AM LOSING MY MIND.
HOW DARE THE GAYS DO US IN LIKE THIS.
"me siento bien, me siento nuevo"
I AM DYING. Q!ROIER COME BACK AND GET YOUR HUSBAND. Q!CELLBIT LOOK CLOSER AT HIM. AT HIS BEHAVIOR. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. PLEASE - I NEED MY DOSE OF THE LOVE STORY I ALWAYS WANTED. They fill the void that my silly little fanfic writer heart holds, yes. I WANT TO WRITE A FIC BUT I'M SO OBSESSED THAT I CAN ONLY DECOMPOSE AND NOT CREATE.
All the fanart and ideas I've seen with Doied falling in love with q!Cellbit? I need that to be canon - or I need more fics for it because I my mind will literally explode if it was canon. This body swap is the perfect opportunity for so much angst - the husbands have not seen each other in literally months, and they proceeded to take the proper reunion we needed from them and TORE IT TO SHREDS by putting q!Roier under.
If Doied were to fall in love with q!Cellbit, what then? We all know q!Cellbit would choose q!Roier over Doied in a heartbeat, but what about Doied? What happens when Roier comes back? What happens when he realizes it took Cellbit longer than he promised he would to realize that it wasn't Roier? How's Cellbit going to feel? Would he ever forgive himself for not realizing sooner that it wasn't his own husband? Would he blame himself for what happened to Roier because he had made the misjudgment of staying in Purgatory? Would it really be ok that Roier wasn't fine that he was gone? That it was, possibly, even his fault for Roier's kidnapping and replacement by Doied? (This is literally already half a fic idea, but I'll come back to that later lmao.)
I've only seen clips so far - but the conversation that Cell has with Doied about staying in Purgatory? Fucked me up. Brain chemistry changed. Emotions everywhere.
q!Cellbit, it doesn't matter how depressed you are from Purgatory - you should know your husband. You should know he would NOT agree with you that it was better off for you to stay away. He would NEVER let something like that slide. In fact - the clips from q!Roier literally MOURNING the disappearance of his husband on top of all this angst make me want to commit a crime against that nerdy asshole. /lh
I cannot wait to watch cc!Roier's vods and catch all the little details that he added to differentiate between the original q!Roier and Doied (his twin brother). As a content creator, he's done a WONDERFUL job over and over again playing different characters in this silly little block game.
I am so emotionally attached it's hardly even funny. Despite this, I am in an absolutely hysterical state. I'm so excited to see what happens next and am so obsessed that despite having a very elementary understanding of Spanish and knowing no Portuguese at all, I am 100% ready to start learning Spanish again and Portuguese just to keep up with Guapoduo's lore.
QSMP, you sure have done something else to the world. Thank you so much.
Also, I hope you're ready to pay for the fans' therapy more so than the server, Quackity. 👁 👁
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Hashirama learns to peek through the walls instead.
(it gives him a better angle)
Some nights, Tobirama doesn't use a privacy seal.
This is one of those nights.
He can't help but tremble. Anxiety keeps him half-mast at most. He doesn't care.
Tobi surely knows he's there, he's left a seal off enough times to have sensed him.
Or maybe Butsuma made him reel his chakra in, to focus only on them two.
Hashirama grits his teeth in jealousy. This is as close as he'll ever get, hidden behind a wall, stifling pathetic noises.
At least his father gets to touch.
All he can do is watch, and if he's lucky, he can listen.
His brother settles his hands above his head, and they stay, as if tied there by some invisible rope.
"Gorgeous," his father purrs, thumb brushing across bruises on his neck.
Tobirama thanks him out of habit, breath heavy and skin hot. He's formal and stiff in his words, but his voice is a quiet whine that does terrible things to Hashirama's brain.
He hadn't even known his brother could sound so good.
Butsuma hums. "You did a good job today, Buki. A very good job. I'm pleased with your performance."
His baby brother shivers, his face turning an even brighter shade of red, and averts his gaze. He thanks him again, in that same pretty tone.
His father tsks and takes his chin in his hand. "I want you to look at me, boy. Don't hide yourself from me."
Tobi inhales sharply, his expression shifting minimally before settling back into a soft guilt. He apologizes quietly, focusing back on him.
"There's my boy. Keep your eyes on me. I have a reward for you tonight."
Hashirama shifts from one foot to the other, keeping his breath as quiet as possible.
He watches Butsuma trail his hands down his brother's torso, settling on his hips. His head lowers to kiss the inside of a pale thigh, pressing the other leg open with a hand.
Tobirama bites his lip, but keeps his eyes on him.
Behind the wall, he palms himself through his pants, eyes wide. He hadn't thought his father would lower himself to this position. To serve someone else.
Oh how he wishes he had a better view.
Butsuma teases his poor brother relentlessly, kissing too close but not close enough to where he clearly needs it.
Tobi squirms, raising his hips slightly.
"Shhh...," his father soothes, "Let me take my time."
His brother whines, but relents, brows furrowed in frustration.
If Hashirama was there, he'd give him what he wanted. He wouldn't be a tease, he'd go right for the mark.
His father is a different man.
Though he can't see it, he can assume by Tobi's reaction that Butsuma had finally given him what he wanted. His hips stilled nearly instantly, his cock twitching in reaction to some unseen stimulation.
Hashirama slides his hand beneath the hem of his pants, exhaling shakily.
He watches as his father's head rises, tongue dragging along the underside of his shaft.
Tobirama whimpers, eyes fluttering shut.
Butsuma's lips press against his tip, where precum was leaking eagerly. He licks it off, then slides his tongue along the slit.
Sage, he looks like a proper whore-
He probably shouldn't be thinking that about his own father, but considering he's watching him go down on his baby brother, he thinks he gets a pass.
He mimes the actions he watches his tongue perform with his fingers, shivering with pleasure.
How he had learned this, he wasn't certain.
But he does remember the way Ojiisan looked at his father when he was alive, so he can make an educated guess.
In one swift motion, he takes him fully into his mouth, to which Tobirama lets out a string of curses he really shouldn't know.
Butsuma pinches his thigh, so he stammers out an apology, but it's clearly just a courtesy.
He hums audibly enough that Hashirama is able to hear it.
Tobi mewls. His eyes roll back, and with them goes his head. His breathing picks up, as does his squirming.
His father holds him still by the hips, flattening his tongue out beneath his cock.
Hashirama pauses. He isn't sure how to do that with his hand.
Butsuma continues to perform what he's almost certain could be used as a torture method, causing his poor brother to start to tear up, rutting against him.
He swears and moans, thighs trembling.
"Please," he chokes out, "Please, please..! I can't hold still, I can't- Please let me touch you, Chichi-ue, please, please-"
Butsuma rolls his eyes and pats his thigh, giving him all the permission he needs.
His brother takes his hands down from above his head, burying his fingers in his father's hair and tugging needily.
Hashirama was certain that would get him in trouble, but to his surprise, it doesn't. Instead, Butsuma lets him take control of his 'reward'.
Tobirama groans and grinds his hips up into his mouth, shivering. He stammers out something that he doesn't quite catch, whining like a dog.
And Butsuma lets him.
Hashirama strokes himself along to his thrusts, leaning his weight against the wall and stifling his own noises.
How on earth he was able to sleep through this is a mystery.
Tobirama tips his head further back, hips stuttering.
"Please- Please?," he begs, and Hashirama is certain that has to be his favorite word. "M'unna cum, please let me cum- I-I've been so good, sir, please!" His words are slurred and nearly incoherent.
Butsuma rubs circles on his hip comfortingly, gazing up at him through his lashes.
Tobi sobs in relief.
Hashirama holds his breath to keep from making any noise at all, watching his brother lose his composure entirely- Not that he had much left at this point.
Tobirama moans loudly, entire body taut with tension, finishing in his father's mouth.
It's a gorgeous sight. One he hadn't known he needed. He almost wished he was Tobi in this situation instead of the other way around.
To get to take out his anger on his father like that- He shudders.
But, as he does every time, he squeezes the base of his cock, keeping himself from reaching that beautiful high that he longed for.
He's dirty, he doesn't get that release. Instead, he waits until the feeling goes away, then lets go.
The desire doesn't fade, but his resolve to go through with anything does.
His mood drops faster than a weighted ball and chain.
What the hell is he doing?
He should be in bed. He has training tomorrow.
Hashirama exhales shakily and tears his vision away from his brother, who's getting to come down from his own high.
He steps away from the wall, keeping his footsteps light, and heads toward his bedroom.
He doesn't know why he keeps doing this. Nothing will ever come from it. He's just going to feel worse.
He's just going to get more jealous.
He tries not to slam his bedroom door.
Hashirama climbs into his bed, not bothering to wash his hand, because who cares.
He curls up on his side, hugging himself, and glaring at his wall.
Why did he have to be so stupid? He could've just left it alone. 'Trusted' that his father wasn't that kind of man. He could've refuted the rumors.
But no, he just had to look.
Now he felt dirty and wrong and tired.
Butsuma got to have his way with his brother, and he got to go to bed upset.