#isurrender

i put my resignation this past week. felt pretty good about it, and within the days of writing the letter, delivering it, and coming to work after the weekend, i still find myself unsure of my decision and if this is what God is wanting me to do.

i sit here, reading about what God says in Ecclesiastes. and what's also said in 1 Corinthians 10:31 "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." and the connection from 1 Cor and Ecclesiastes is work. whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. i've worked at this job for 2 years, i have struggled and toiled and worked hard at this job (to a certain point). i have also found myself facing extreme burnout. the struggle is real, and the work stress is getting heavier.

i feel like i have tried to find joy in my work, i constantly am trying to grow myself in this position as the years go, and i know that I've seen the fruits of my labor. but now i am to a point where it is hurting my spirit. and i'm not sure if i can continue here. and i feel the pressure to stick it out and "find joy along the way". i recognize the blessing of this job, and the place i have been.

i cannot deny the blessings and gifts from God in this season, but i cannot help but wonder. am i making the right decision? i need rest, i need to help my relationship with Christ because the spiritual warfare i am pressed with is present. and very real. and i am finding myself being distracted and brought down from the place i am at. is that my unbelief? is that my own doubt? or am i not giving it the right chance to be good, to find that good?