#isuckatdance

Dancing classes

Have you ever found yourself doing something you are oh, so gloriously inept at doing, but proceeding with it anyway?

I do that all the time.

My most recent venture with doing things I’m bad at is dancing. Honestly, I’m so horrible at it, that a herd of big, fat, ungraceful elephants would classify me in the category “Cannot Dance”. Even they would have foregone all thoughts of clemency when subjecting me to a death sentence due to my atrocious skills.

I pretend to have immense knowledge in this field, though. When a random person asks me what I’ve been doing in my summer vacations, I tell them, airily, “Well, I have been attending dance classes, recently…I’m horrible, though,” Of course, everyone assumes I am in fact, being modest about my supreme dancing skills. “Oh, arrant nonsense, dearie, I’m sure you’re the best there is!”

Yeah, best at failing.

And if someone then asks me to demonstrate my skills, I immediately befuddle them by muttering a bunch of incomprehensible jargon (well, we start in the scatter positions, and then we form a conglone you see, very tough, and oh, then of course, there are the lifts that I could not perform on my own, oh, it wouldn’t be complete without my supporting dancers, maybe next time, then?)I place a hand next to my heart, as though the very idea of dancing without a troop of people behind me gives me heartache, and then they reluctantly agree with my hallowed self.

Wow, I am such a charlatan.

Of course, I might have left a few points about the affliction I have to go through six days a week, the foremost being that I am not the one who does the lifts at all. [At least I have sensible instructors] I simply stand there in a corner, flailing my arms about.

Also, it just so happens, that when I talk about dance classes, it simply slips my mind, that I am, in fact, one of the supporting dancers.  And I am horrid at that, too.

No but seriously, no matter what else I excel [psh, everything.] dancing will never be one of things I am even remotely accomplished at.