He wants her to GO AWAY, he doesn’t want her to see him fall apart. So far, he’s done WELL to keep from falling apart in front of her. The most she’s seen is him high and manic. Both, in a way, very vulnerable positions but this? This is ANOTHER TYPE of vulnerable, one he isn’t used to having other people see. “H-He tried to kill me. I was ten, maybe younger, and he tried to kill me.”

It’s better than he’d ever imagined. Her lips are soft and as his hand comes up to cup her cheek and eyes close, he finds that he wants more of her lips against his. His head tilts slightly to deepen the kiss. He should probably stop this, ask her if she’s sure she wants to cross this line, but he doesn’t. Because this feels too good to be true and if he breaks the kiss, maybe he will wake up from a dream. If this is just a dream, he doesn’t want to wake up.

“I’m not trying to get killed.” But he also doesn’t care if he DOES get killed. Not exactly something that screams ‘i’m not suicidal’. Not to mention, the harm he’s inflicted on himself in the form of razor blades to wrists and thighs in the past. Nothing about him screams that he CARES about his own life.

No, no. He can’t go home. He can’t go home to ALL THOSE THOUGHTS that run through his head when he does NOTHING. The memories, the PTSD, it all comes rushing back when he’s alone. He wishes that he could forget what happened with Watkins like he forgot what happened with his father. “Bold of you to assume I haven’t snapped already.” A failed attempt at humor. “The cases are the only thing keeping me sane. The cases aren’t the issue.”