#issue_20

Satori turning anti-youkai?

Betteridge's law would say of course not, but that wouldn’t sell as many papers.

Goddesses are not well loved by youkai and with good reason.  Although there are exceptions like the ever popular Shinki, known for her staunch pro-youkai policies.  Recent events have thrown youkai turned goddess Satori Komeiji’s loyalties into question, but all may not be as it initially appears.

Satori’s recent intervention protecting a human child lost in the underground has caused much concern in the underground.  Many of the undergrounds residents are questioning if Satori’s loyalties are still with them after her ascension to goddesshood.   To make maters worse for Satori, unconfirmed reports from Chireden indicate that Satori has even started withholding food from her sister.  She’s even been sighted attacking Nue Houjuu from the Buddhist temple on the surface.

On the surface of things, it would seem that Satori has turned anti-youkai and pro-human as is quite common with newly formed goddesses.  However, upon further investigation, yours truly has found evidence that may explain her actions and lend hope that she has not.

According to anonymous sources within Chireden Satori did not save the human child out of any desire to protect her, but rather that she wised to destroy the child far more than mere death would have.  While it is not known exactly what Satori said to the child, the child was seen in such a state of abject fear and despair that she vomited.  Few youkai can claim to reach that level of fear with a human so easily.

While this does not explain Satori’s other suspicious actions of starving her sister or attacking other youkai, it is possible that these are just a coincidence.  

The Bunbunmaru will keep you updated.

Fairy maids on strike

The ongoing labor disputes at the Scarlet Devil Mansion came to a head recently.  No longer content to grumble the fairies of the mansion have gotten together to protest for better treatment.  As things in Gensokyo so often do, this quickly erupted into a Danmaku battle.

Fairies demand better work conditions, more booze

Most labor disputes revolve around money, however as fairies don’t have an idea how money works, this one revolves around booze and beatings.  First and formost the fairies are demanding an increase in the amount of alcohol that Remilia contributes to the “great fairy stash” (the name the fairies have given their communal alcohol supply).  The fairies claim that in recent weeks the stash’s size has been decreasing as more fairies are hired on with the Scarlet Devil Mansion and that Remilia has not increased her contributions to match the increased staff.

In addition to the “wage” concerns, the fairies also claim that they receive an excessive number of beatings at the hands of the head maid as a form of discipline.  They further demand that Remilia reduce physical punishment to only serious infractions.

Negotiations turn to danmaku

The fairy negotiator Salty, was sent across the picket lines to negotiate with Remilia.  The negotiations quickly devolved into a danmaku battle.  The result of this battle is still unknown as both sides have chosen to keep quiet about it at this time.

Tanning craze sweeping Gensokyo

As you’ve no doubt noticed, dearest reader, a brand-new fashion trend is sweeping across Gensokyo.  The tanned look has become all the rage.  It started with the Ice-fairy Cirno’s fresh look and grew from there.

When asked how she came up with the idea for the new style Cirno said that she “just thought it looked cute!”

She further claimed that the tan is real. But would not elaborate on how a fairy managed to get a tan.

Like with any fashion craze, there are some who take it too far and go past tan and into sunburn., so please be careful!

Fairy licking good?

Fairy dust is a well-known component in many spells.  Most commonly it is acquired by attacking and killing one or more fairies.  However, a recent discovery by Maribel Hearn, a human from the outside world has shown that it is possible that there may be a less violent way.  

The method dearest reader?  Licking fairies.  While it may seem odd, initial reports indicate that fairy licking may be just as effective as the conventional collection of fairy dust.  When asked what inspired her research into the field, Maribel responded that she “was just curious about something.”  She followed up by saying that the research was still unconfirmed at this time.  

Unconfirmed rumors say that the Volie library under the Scarlet Devil Mansion is already working on such experiments.

Fairy licking craze

The word of the possible effectiveness of fairy licking has started a craze of people hunting and licking fairies.  This of course has been met with some resistance among Gensokyo’s fairy population.

Follow up experiments

In order to better understand the possible effectiveness of fairy licking, Maribel Hearn managed to get herself turned into a fairy.  She is now looking for volunteers to help in her experiments by licking her.

Remilia to open water park

Normal people take baths.  But what do you do when you are the vampire mistress of a mansion?  You build an entire water park.

Remilia Scarlet of the Scarlet Devil Mansion recently announced the completion of a new water park attraction.  You might be asking dearest reader, if Remilia is attempting to compete with Yukari’s new beach, and you would be right!  Even Remilia’s very press release acknowledges that!  The water park features climatized pools, a hot tub, diving boards, water slides, and even a lazy river (no doubt at the suggestion of the legendarily lazy mage Patchouli Knowledge).

It may seem odd that a vampire like Remilia would choose to get involved with anything involving water.  Remilia takes an unique perspective, that if she stays to the slower flowing areas she should be fine.

When questioned about the dubious safety record of the Scarlet Devil Mansion’s past projects, Remilia claimed that “safety is important, but we can use magic if injuries even happen.”    Though this might not put some worries to ease, Remilia certainly seems to believe it should.

Scarlet Devil Mansion Income Problem

Unconfirmed rumors that the Scarlet Devil Mansion is facing a cash flow problem continue to swirl following reports of the SDMs moon landing program.   Despite being a joint project between the SDM, Yukari Yakumo, and the Hakurei shrine, very little is known about this project or it’s success.  Though any project that requires the cooperation of three of Gensokyo’s most powerful groups cannot be cheap.  These rumors have intensified in recent weeks with word labour issues among the staff of the SDM.

Remilia’s claim that the inspiration for the water park is a desire to compete with Yukari could be true.   It is also possible that this is an effort to gain a more solid financial footing.

Traditionally the SDM does not comment on it’s finances, although Remilia did allude to it saying that she expects to at least recover the money spent constructing the park by the end of summer.