#issatalks

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I’m not comparing it to the first seasons Rock Opera one because there is no point because it is perfect Clone High Ep. I mean it was Jack Black for Peet’s sake.

However, I want to keep in mind, since the end of S1, we have had HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL! One of the easiest things to parody! It should be a parody of that very specific time in Disney TV where it’s all about stupid Disney teen dramas of that era. You have an audience that probably either watched that growing up OR at the very least knows about it through cultural osmosis. And it doesn’t even need to be just high school musical. It can also be one of the MILLION other teen Disney musical movies from the 2000’s. Cheetah girls, (Joan and the girls can be the “Ocelot Ladies” and dress like Ocelots) Camp Rock, (They can just be camping in the middle of the School Campus and also make it a slasher camp horror parody, with singing!) or at least have one of those awkward teen trauma dump scenes in all those movies where the clones could be laying in the grass in a circle and just try to out trauma each other. (It’s starts with Confu talking about how his parents don’t pay attention to him and ends with Cleo talking about seeing her Foster Father have his guts eaten out by a hippo at the zoo. No one really knows how to react to that one)

But even if they don’t go with that route… THERE ARE A MILLION DIFFERENT HIGHSCHOOL BASED MUSICALS THEY CAN PARODY! Heathers! Harriet and the girls accidentally kill Cleo, hijinks ensue! Dear Evan Hansen! They already love dumping on Abe so much, have him break his arm and whine about how his life is so unfair while having someone with real issues like Van Gohn not get noticed! Grease! OMG IMAGINE HOW FUNNY IT WOULD BE IF THE BOYS ALL DRESSED LIKE GREASERS AND SANG A KNOCK OFF OF GREASE LIGHTNING!

And the “Big Race” is just them racing down the halls on a tricked out version of one of these things:

Hell, they could even do the lazy parody of The Phantom of the Opera. Like Topher is mad that he doesn’t get to be the leader in the awareness month campaign and puts on a disguise so that he can sabotage it. And it’s so obviously is him doing it but no one ever figures it out and when he’s unmasked everyone screams because HE’S HIDEOUS!

Instead, what do we get? A very weak ep with 3 songs that aren’t even memorable. Nothing really making good jabs at the musical High School drama and what I found most disappointing is Harriet. If I’m reading her right, she’s suppose to be a bit of a Theater Kid? Have these people MET Theater Kids??? She should be a lot more pushy with her musical love! She should be a drama lover and want to know all the juicy details in everyone’s drama! She should be a huge romantic and try to ship her school mates and manufacturing romantic tropes between them! But as is, she is flat. Not Theater Kid enough.

They don’t even have a musical guest star! I get if they can’t get Lin-Manuel Miranda, but like SOMEONE THAT CAN SING AT LEAST! You know, go with the theme of the ep! But no, they couldn’t even do that!